silvermoon7 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 (edited) I met this guy, and agreed to be his girlfriend even though we had met only recently. I did this because he seemed very sweet and intelligent. However, as soon as I agreed to be his girlfriend, he sobbed on my shoulder and told me that he was "crying with happiness" because he had always been alone. Now I am beginning to realize that my boyfriend cries on a regular basis. He has a very low self-esteem and is very sensitive to what others think about him. He cries uncontrollably whenever he's depressed. He cries around needles whenever he is given immunization shots. He's practically lived in solitary confinement his entire life, because he was afraid of being bullied by people as a child. It seems like my boyfriend has some emotional problems. I want to break up with him, but I'm afraid he'll try to commit suicide or something because he seems a little emotionally unstable. I've never met such a sensitive man before. He just confessed his love to me, way too soon, which will make me feel guilty if I do break up with him. I would continue dating him if he was not so emotional, but I feel that he is not the sort of man who I will ever be able to rely upon for anything. I am his pillar of strength, because honestly I don't think he possesses very much inner strength. I'm not sure what would be the best way to break up with a guy in this type of situation. Any advice would be appreciated. Edited December 24, 2010 by silvermoon7
Surrealist Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I'm sure there was a very similar thread like this not long ago? Anyway can you talk to your bf and let him know that there is really no need to be so upset all the time? Like he cries when there are needles about? Sheesh he'd be bawling at my joint. Hey maybe you can suggest he gets counselling, seriously. I mean he is a human after all and deserves to be loved and I commend you for at least giving him a go! But you know, like you said, you don't want to have to be the 'man' of the house so somehow he needs to come to terms with the fact that he was born with testicles. Good luck.
paleblue Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 You've met Manby Panby. Run. just run. It is highly messed up he cries at the drop of a dime. Men should be strong like a pillar of strength. If you can bare it, I would suggest waiting until after New Years. People are extra sensitive around this time of the year. He will be more likely to jump off a bridge if you end it now. I will also guess you should expect a lot of whining, crying and begging and pleading after you tell him it's over. Pathetic. Just pathetic. Nothing worse (IMHO) than a complete wuss of a man. Sorry you have to dump him. That sucks. Send him my way, I will toughen him up to fight club condition.
make me believe Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Ohhh my god! You need to get out of this relationship ASAP. And please know that his reaction to you breaking up with him is NOT your responsibility! Just tell him that you two are not compatible & you are ending it. If he presses you for reasons why (which he probably will), be straight up & tell him he has emotional issues that he needs to work on before he's ready to be in a relationship. This dude needs some serious counseling if he is really that emotionally unstable. Oh, and cut all contact with him after you break up with him. Don't try to stay involved as his "friend" or anything like that.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Is his name John Boehner? But seriously, this guy has problems. We could call him namby pamby and/or say he has emotional problems but it's always more than that. Emotions are a function of chemistry. And his chemistry seems to be in need of some balancing agents. Also bear in mind that some people get a bad deal genetically and sometimes have varying degrees of syndromes like Aspergers where there are social disconnects in their development. If you're not all that invested, you might want to bail. Whatever you do, do not let his apparent emotional disarray influence you into not taking action. No doubt he's keen on what power his apparent emotionality gives him to manipulate others. It comes with the territory.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I want to break up with him, but I'm afraid he'll try to commit suicide or something because he seems a little emotionally unstable. So you dont care exactly what his reaction to the breakup would be, seems to me youre concerned that you wont be able to handle the guilt that you will put upon yourself. Pretty selfish really. Well youre going to have to live with your own guilt regardless, I dont know why you would do that to yourself, since youre ready to desert him entirely and not worry about his method of dealing with the breakup. What are you going to do if he threatens suicide, you gonna sit by his side until he decides hes over you? You know that wont work. he has to learn to be a man. Tell him thats the problem, tell him to go get help, and tell him thats what he needs to be attractive. Thats the best you can do for him. Youre the only one he will listen to. He will have to do the rest. Youre not attracted to the guy because hes a namby pamby jackwagon. Theres nothing wrong with that. Dump him, move on, wash your hands of him, theres nothing to feel guilty about.
Seamless74 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 met this guy, and agreed to be his girlfriend even though we had met only recently. I did this because he seemed very sweet and intelligent Was that your only criteria??? I want to break up with him, but I'm afraid he'll try to commit suicide or something because he seems a little emotionally unstable. obviously that wasnt part of your criteria... yeah you just gotta do it and live with the consequences... Selection is probably the most important and oft overlooked aspect of the game..
NoLongerSad Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Be sure to get one of these before breaking up with him: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://barrood.com/images/Personal%2520Umbrella.JPG&imgrefurl=http://barrood.com/Insurance.aspx&h=336&w=400&sz=26&tbnid=q9Kh993KTlaYuM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dumbrella%2Bphoto&zoom=1&q=umbrella+photo&hl=en&usg=__AFM4ayH1e8LucKquktIl_KV8Iu8=&sa=X&ei=mAsVTdeQH4GBlAfulpHnCw&ved=0CBsQ9QEwAA
wheream_i Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Oh stop it, she's just not into the guy because he's a too emotional for her taste and they're not compatible. So you dont care exactly what his reaction to the breakup would be, seems to me youre concerned that you wont be able to handle the guilt that you will put upon yourself. Pretty selfish really.
alexlakeman Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 He could just have depression, i so he needs to see a therapist an pop some meds.. If you tell him in person, pop 1/2 a xani in some ice cream and give it to him 34 minutes b4 you dump him. OR... Just dump him via text; much cleaner and easier.. here let me pull a random one for you "It was great meeting you and being together, but I have to be true to myself and this is just not for me; you're a great person; good luck"... throw his # in a new ph bk entry labeled "Do Not Answer" and set the ringer to SILENT... You're done.. Poor guy..
Feelin Frisky Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 He could just have depression, i so he needs to see a therapist an pop some meds.. If you tell him in person, pop 1/2 a xani in some ice cream and give it to him 34 minutes b4 you dump him. OR... Just dump him via text; much cleaner and easier.. here let me pull a random one for you "It was great meeting you and being together, but I have to be true to myself and this is just not for me; you're a great person; good luck"... throw his # in a new ph bk entry labeled "Do Not Answer" and set the ringer to SILENT... You're done.. Poor guy.. After months of not noticing, it just dawned on my what's going on on that T-shirt in your av. Pretty neat.
alexlakeman Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 After months of not noticing, it just dawned on my what's going on on that T-shirt in your av. Pretty neat. LOL, thanks... and I was going to change it for the New Year's.... You've saved it!!! lol
lso802 Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Maybe he watched this and embraced it? Anyway, just break up with him. He'll just be hurt more the longer you postpone it. 1
Jynxx Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Reading the replies to this thread and realising they were made on Xmas makes me feel very sad for the posters.
creighton0123 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 You should watch "Cry Baby". But seriously, men, like women, come with so many different personality types. You tend to not be attracted towards the more introverted, hyper sensitive man. If he's had previous girlfriends, they've obviously broken up with him and he didn't take to suicide. If both of you are younger, you might want to tip off his parents/guardians, close friends, or his siblings before you break up with him if you are really worried.
Author silvermoon7 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 If he's had previous girlfriends, they've obviously broken up with him and he didn't take to suicide. That's just it...he hasn't had any previous girlfriends. He's been rejected by every woman he's ever fancied. I'm the only one who has ever given him a chance, and he says I am the most beautiful and amazing girl he's ever met. He's so attached to me that if I break up with him, I'm not sure what he will do, because he had a long history of depression before he met me. He said that he had considered killing himself once, before he met me.
PlayfulRuddy Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Wow this is very similar to what I have to deal with. My GF is the most dramatic queen I've met. I know women are more emotional than us men but she is overwhelming to the point it's annoying. Honestly I think you should break up. I'm considering this too after New Year. An overly sensitive man is just as bad as a woman crying for everything. They are people you can't even have fun with.
Author silvermoon7 Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Wow this is very similar to what I have to deal with. My GF is the most dramatic queen I've met. I know women are more emotional than us men but she is overwhelming to the point it's annoying. Honestly I think you should break up. I'm considering this too after New Year. An overly sensitive man is just as bad as a woman crying for everything. They are people you can't even have fun with. Agreed. I'm just a bit nervous about breaking up with someone who has placed all of his hopes and dreams upon me to fulfill. He thinks that we were "meant to be" and that "fate brought us together," and he tells me every day that I am the most amazing woman he's ever met. I will definitely break up with him soon, but I don't know what the best way to do it would be, without causing him to sink into suicidal depression again. He keeps telling me that I am the most important thing in the world to him, because he doesn't have any friends and he never talks to his family.
hART Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Silvermoon-Dump this guy soon, dates don't mean anything. Tell him his emotional state is too much for you and you can't be with him. If you can be there as a friend, tell him you are going to call and see how he is doing and keep your word. Depressed people often forget to eat or buy groceries, so if you can bring him food once in a while (an apple is great if you are broke, a bag of groceries is like a god send). If you can't handle contact with him, leave it there and walk away. He will know it is you. Tell him there are many meetup support groups, both online and in real life. Encourage him to get help and keep encouraging him. If he threatens suicide, send the cops to his house and stay on the phone with him. You don't have to make him talk about it, talk about anything, it helps. Do not get back together with him, because he will blame the breakup for his depression. Depressed people underestimate how many people are there for them. Are there any coworkers, family members or anyone he talks to? Facebook makes it possible to reconnect with people he hasn't seen in forever. Maybe getting a social job or hobby will bring him out of it. I love group exercise, because I am around people, but I don't have to interact. Tell him to get some sun, if he is a goth or something tell him to go to the club or concert. If you just can't take him one more minute, take care of yourself. Either way, if something happens, even if he blames you, it is not your fault. He has a serious mental illness he is not taking care of, which is common with sensitive depressives, and if he dies from it that is all on him. All anyone can do is be there. Hope it works out. *hugs*
LexiB Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Reading the replies to this thread and realising they were made on Xmas makes me feel very sad for the posters. Um, didn't you post on Christmas too...?
LexiB Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 OP, do you think this guy could handle just being friends with you? If loneliness truly is his only concern, maybe a smooth transition into a platonic relationship [assuming you even want to continue any connection with him] would work out best for both of you.
Ross PK Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 You should stay with him, it might give him the confidence he needs.
Author silvermoon7 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Posted December 28, 2010 You should stay with him, it might give him the confidence he needs. I feel that I would be taking a dishonest path if I stayed with him. I am no longer attracted to him. When he kisses me, I feel nothing. I think it's because he cried when he kissed me, which turned me off. He should find confidence within himself, but I know that as soon as I break up with him, his confidence will plummet to despair.
creighton0123 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 That's just it...he hasn't had any previous girlfriends. He's been rejected by every woman he's ever fancied. I'm the only one who has ever given him a chance, and he says I am the most beautiful and amazing girl he's ever met. He's so attached to me that if I break up with him, I'm not sure what he will do, because he had a long history of depression before he met me. He said that he had considered killing himself once, before he met me. You gave him a chance. Your happiness is more important than his (obviously... since you're you and he's him). If you do break up with him, let his family/friends know first if you're worried about him harming himself. If his family knows that you're breaking up with him because you're not happy in the relationship, then once you do responsibility for him will be in their hands where it belongs, not yours.
Recommended Posts