My story

[SDA]

Me and my girlfriend dated for about a year. I went away to college and she stayed in high school. Everything was going fine until about Thanksgiving where we fought non-stop about the stupidest things and I was thinking about ending it. About a week later she told me she wanted a break, I said OK I'll be here when you're ready to talk.

 

THIS DROVE ME CRAZY. I didn't realize that I lost her. And I missed her so much.

 

We talked two days later on the phone and we broke up. She said that she felt differently and needed to be alone for two weeks until I came home and we can talk about it then. Those two weeks I couldn't get her off my mind. She contacted me twice to talk about random things, I contacted her once because I missed her and that was an OK conversation. She contacted me again at her "girls night" at 3 a.m. drunk asking how my night was and everything, I was drunk as well but I held my own.

 

We didn't talk for a week and we randomly saw each other at a party and it was very awkward. Her friends were blocking her so we didn't have to make eye contact. Her friends would go and see what I was doing then go and tell her and it was really immature and made me mad. She came up to me by the end of the night and acted as if we just met. I asked her if we could go talk and we talked for about twenty minuets about us and she was crying and said how things were still different for her now and she always changes her mind if she wants to be together or not. She said she loved me and always will, her friends wanted to leave, she tried to stay longer but had to go. She kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye.

 

I called her the next day asking for my things back that were at her house which were a symbol of our relationship. She got mad and said why do you want them back? I told her they were a symbol of our relationship. She said I want to talk more and not leave it like this. We met up about two hours later at Starbucks and talked for about two hours.

 

She cried the whole time saying the same things how she loves me and needs to be alone and how I'm the sweetest guy ever and the first person she ever really liked and loved. I said I wanted to get back together and that if she still loved me we should be together. She said she couldn't and needed to be alone. I said, ok I can't change your mind that is all up to you and if you need to be alone I'll leave you be.

 

She said she didn't want to be out of each others lives and still talk and be freindly. I said I couldn't and she got mad again asking why not and I told her that it would be weird for me and I'll try but I can't promise anything.

 

I haven't spoken to her in a week, keeping the NC strong and it's very very very hard for me because I have deeply fallen in love with her. I miss her and want to get back with her so bad. I don't know what to do. I've written a letter that I plan to give her before I leave for next semester saying that I can't talk to her because I love her and talking to her would only hurt too much.

 

Please lend me insight on the situation. I know she is gone for now, maybe not forever, but for now she is. I want to talk to her so bad but I know I can't.

[GreenPolicy]

You're young and you'll love again. You don't want to get married and settle down with your first love. Let her go and date other people. If you stayed with her, one or both of you would eventually want to date other people.

 

Keep her in your heart and you'll always remember her fondly as your first love. Trying to stay together won't work in the long term because you will eventually want to pursue other girls you meet at school. She will eventually want to date other boys as well.

[Don_da_Ho]

Sorry Bro, her feelings have changed. That means she's done. You're just prolonging your misery by continuing contact with her. BTW, when a woman says "you're the sweetest guy" that's like the kiss of death. That means you've been a pussy, you're a doormat and she wants a MAN.

 

Have some pride and dignity and DO NOT send her any letter, email or text that says anything. Bro, you're in college now. Look around. There are tons of WOMEN around you. Time to move on to better pastures. Good luck!

[Banega100]

DON'T send a letter...

She's not coming back man, but things will get easier when you stop speaking to her

[SDA]

How do you guys know she won't come back? I'm not reliant on it. I've accepted it and haven't spoken to her. It's just all the things she has told me about the people she's around and how her friends treat her, I just see her crying to me in the future. I'm mad at her. I know it's over. Maybe my mind is just going crazy.

[Don_da_Ho]

They run when you chase and they chase when you run. It's human nature. The only chance you have for her to come back is not chase and not contact. Move forward with your life. Even if she came back at some point, by the time she does, you probably won't feel the same and want her back.

[SDA]

I'm going to see her tonight at a party where all my friends will be at also. As I said before she wants to be "friends" and not ignore each other when we see each other. I don't want to be friends, she's still in high school and less mature than I am. What do I do when I see her? Since the break up I've seen her once and she spent the whole night talking to people and glancing over at me and having her friends spy on me. I hate that. What should I do tonight?

[Don_da_Ho]

YOU make sure you have girls around you all the time and that you have fun!! Do not approach her. Just smile and acknowledge her. Nothing else. Do not "eye" her all night and give the impression that you're pining for her to come talk to you.

[SDA]

Thanks Don da ho. Really been helping me

[Breakupguy12]

The longer you continue to try to speak to her, the longer it's going to take for you to get over her. It's like opening a scab on a wound that was beginning to heal. It takes two people to get a relationship back together. SHe knows you want to get back together, but waiting on her is a waste of time in my opinion.

[Don_da_Ho]

Thanks Don da ho. Really been helping me

 

No problem. Just do your best to have a good time ... actually make SURE you're having a good time. If you can't, then make it APPEAR that you're having a good time. Be polite and cordial if you're put in position where you have to say "Hi". Then tell her you have to find your friend. ACT like you don't care even if your guts are falling out.

[SDA]

i said hi when i saw her. Stayed away for the rest of the night, until she came up to me wondering why I wasn't talking to her. We ended up talking for 3 hours and she said she wants to be with me when I'm with her (we hooked up for a bit) but isn't sure when I'm not. She proposed the idea of an open relationship.

[Don_da_Ho]

i said hi when i saw her. Stayed away for the rest of the night, until she came up to me wondering why I wasn't talking to her. We ended up talking for 3 hours and she said she wants to be with me when I'm with her (we hooked up for a bit) but isn't sure when I'm not. She proposed the idea of an open relationship.

 

Well you did well on the first part. You should have evaded her and left without talking. Doing what you did left her in the driver's seat. Well Bro, if you can handle hooking up with her without emotions and expectations, then do it (which I doubt). Basically she wants her cake and eat it too. Your call. But don't think that going along with the "open" program is going to change into her wanting to be just with you.

[Chi townD]

SHE proposed an open relationship...bad news. I think she's already started this open relationship. Now, she doesn't want to feel guilty about it because she'll have your permission.

[SDA]

Her proposition was, "Have you ever considered being together while you are home and not while your away but still talk while your away"

[SDA]

I told her it wouldn't work. I am now a ghost to her. The only way she can get a hold of me is my phone but I told her not to talk to me anymore.