isitme1 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I want to try this section also.... Here is my original post for a little background... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258083/ Well I have been doing my best to do the N/C thing...was even debating not to give her Christmas gifts...I did send her a text early this morning since she left me a VM last night...But she has done all the calling...well she came by y house while I was gone to drop off my xmas gift...it was more like an apology gift since we broke up for an event of mine...it was a significant gift that brought tears to my eyes...I called her about it but she was out w/her family eating...I dont know what to do now w/her gifts...she broke up w/me...feel obligated to give her the stuff I got her...I am so torn and feel like I am going backwards...I just want to let go but its been a BIG challenge to say the least...now I am waiting for her to call...big time emotional roller coaster! I miss her dearly...
amagordos Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Hang in there, it will get better. Right now you might feel like you'll never get over her, but believe me you will. Distract yourself with other things to keep your mind off her
GreenPolicy Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 No Contact, No Exceptions. If they want to be with you, they will let you know.
Author isitme1 Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 well I talked to her..made the feeling worse...going to let go now...all i can do...
delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 well I talked to her..made the feeling worse...going to let go now...all i can do... yep, C, i broke my NC after over 2 wks and now i can't sleep the past 2 nites again, i am finding myself panicky and angery... i was not doing the best emotionally, but i was feeling a huge change in ME, myself as a whole..sleeping so grEAT, walking again everyday, doing things i have done since i have been with my xbf...good constructive things you know... xbf emailed me yesterday, i stupidly responded, i was at a moment of weakness...and now, he has left 3 vmails, to which i have nOT responded andi am not going too.. i am so angry with myself NOW, because i was doing SO WELL..just moving along and getting back 'to me'... argh! so i totally get what u r saying... all we can do, is start over, yet again... about the xmas gifts she gave u... have u thought of just returning them back to her? maybe that will tell her that u just r not 'there' anymore and u need to move on and the whole gift giving thing is just not gonna work right now...? or unless u really do want to get back together with her? kinda a hard situation to give advice too...sorry, i am not in that place... but i am sure another LS'r can help good luck with your NC...truly. i sure hope u have a nice Christmas with your family tho ...
Author isitme1 Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 well i am having trouble sleeping...I keep playing the conversation...it was worse she said she doesnt want to see just to make me feel bad...things were very good...then all of a sudden you dont want to see me? I really blame myself for "turning her off"...but I feel like I have been really selfish in talking to her...I need to give her what she wants...I am just scared to lose her for good...but its the sacrifice I need to do for her to be ok...this has messed me up so bad that it has ruined my time w/family that is here for a short while...I am trying really hard to just let go...she said she is going to talk to call me in a few days to check in....I do want her back...but now f course...
Jeff M Stevens Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 well i am having trouble sleeping...I keep playing the conversation...it was worse she said she doesnt want to see just to make me feel bad...things were very good...then all of a sudden you dont want to see me? I really blame myself for "turning her off"...but I feel like I have been really selfish in talking to her...I need to give her what she wants...I am just scared to lose her for good...but its the sacrifice I need to do for her to be ok...this has messed me up so bad that it has ruined my time w/family that is here for a short while...I am trying really hard to just let go...she said she is going to talk to call me in a few days to check in....I do want her back...but now f course... My friend, you ARE OUT with her....I've responded to you before and you didn't listen to me. I understand what you're going through is like a death and you're suffering the stages of grief and I really feel for you. I know you will feel like crap for a long while until you heal and I have sympathy. The one thing I DO NOT have sympathy over is your absolute refusal to break contact with her. I'm sorry but SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU and she's proven that. You are hurting yourself by holding out false hope that the relationship can be repaired; it cannot. You seem like a good guy and I hope you find a girl that will really love you the way you deserve. She won't do it. The faster you put her in your rearview mirror, the faster you can heal, move on and find someone that deserves you.
Author isitme1 Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 I appreciate the advice...its what came here for...just have to be realistic about stuff now...
Jeff M Stevens Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I appreciate the advice...its what came here for...just have to be realistic about stuff now... Hard to do man...just remember that you are a good guy and you know how you treat women. You deserve a lady that will truly appreciate that!
Author isitme1 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Posted December 28, 2010 please read my latest and tell me how much f a dumba$$ i am... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3165002#post3165002
Jeff M Stevens Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 You weren't a dumba$$ as you say, you just were STILL operating under the FALSE HOPE, absolutely FALSE HOPE that she wanted you. When she said "I want a break," you were OUT then. There is NOTHING you did to damage things with her because it is impossible to damage something that doesn't exist, namely her feelings for you. I don't blame you man, you are going through a grieving process but I hope this can teach you for the next girl that going back and breaking NC after hearing the words "I need a break" or "I need space" means it's done for life. You were beating yourself up in the post like "I pushed her away forever by not giving her the space she wanted" BS!!! She was GONE FOREVER when she uttered the words "I need a break" There is nothing you did since then or will do in the future to alter the fact that she left you forever after uttering those words.
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