Alliehb Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been together for six years. Out of the 6yrs, there's been ups and down. Until about a yr ago, we started to speak about marriage. First off, I'm currently 25, bf is 28. Due to the way we were raised and cultural difference ( I'm Chinese and he is white) we view marriage completely different. He believes that we should live together first and see how things work out for us before we get married. I came from a traditional Chinese family where it is disrespectful to live together before we get married. I told him I did not want to ashamed my culture like this and he stood firm. We never had a resolve solution. I told him since we have been together for so long, we can at least get engaged to have me move in so that way I don't feel like I've betrayed my family values. He disagree again. He said getting engaged is just as serious as marriage. Sigh. I started to think he don't want to get marry period. When I confront him, he showed sincere and he do want to get marry to me, just we need to live together first! I guess we are both stubborn on this. We never find a place to compromise and this has been bothering our relationship for almost a yr now. Everytime we talk about it, it turns into fights and now we try to ignore this problem and don't talk about it. Lately, I have been feeling so lonely inside since he bought a house 30 mins away frm me. Hez encouraging me to move in, but I don't even feel loved since we don't really talk anymore ( he worked then drive home ) he also bought the house with his family, so I will be living with his family if I move in. Recently I lost my wallet doing Xmas shopping and when I needed attention and comfort, hes gone in fixing his house, ignoring the comfort and attention that I need. When we see each other, we stay apart and sometimes give each other attitude, I don't feel love anymore. In the same time, I noticed Myself craving attention from other people rather than my bf as if I ve given up on this relationship.. How can one from feeling marriage to giving up relationship in such a short time. Should I just move in n see how it goes? Sorry it is such a long story. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Edited December 23, 2010 by Alliehb
Graceful Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I am going to take a very hard line with you. No sugar coating, ok? Absolutely, do NOT move in with him. It's not even an option. Do not even consider it. Firstly, 6 years is long enough to stay with someone at your age. You and your BF are not on the same page about marriage, and the worst of it is that he does not respect you. He does not respect your cultural differences and is doing nothing to compromise with you. In fact, the way he is treating you leads me to my next suggestion, which is of course, to end this relationship as soon as possible. It is a waste of your time to be with a man who disrespects you. You can't even consider marrying him, if he's like this now, what will he be like later? The issues will just escalate. You are not a priority to him. You are not happy with him. He is not emotionally available to you. He disrespects you. You are beginning to want to date other guys. Your emotions are telling you something here, so pay attention. At your age, you have many many options open to you. Don't waste any more time on this guy. He was your first BF, maybe your first love, but that's all. He's not your forever guy. That guy is waiting for you, so go find him.
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