delajoonal Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 i broke NC with my xbf...after just over 2 weeks...crap crap crap! well, he contacted me via email and i responded...i know...banging head on brick wall:o but in a way i am glad...now I KNOW how he feels...still...maybe he will straighten up and fly right this time...not hoping for much...but maybe ..one day we can get back together...who knows..???? but NO, we r not even close to talking on the phone, let alone get back together...although he as left me 3 messages today alone...hmmmm? anyway, has anyone else broken NC this week????? BE honest! am i the only dummy???
Anxiety Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 I Broke it on friday...guess thats last week, but still within 7 days....and it wasn't good...http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t257523/e98c2415817df7400138f00fdeebbc8e I'm probably going to do it again tomorrow just to send a Merry Christmas email...I have no will power.
Breakupguy12 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 No you're not the only dummy, I am for not knowing what NC means.
Author delajoonal Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 anxiety...ok, sorry u did it too, huh:eek: i am going to hit ur link and read up... thank you for posting... is misery loves company, ok to say seriously, sorry u did it too.. and thank you for being honest... looking forward to reading more... take care... oh, breakupguy12, NC= NO contact
rhonian Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 NC still intact here. On my 13th day and going strong. I absolutely know that I will not break NC. When I start to get sad and think about the fun times I go straight to the negative things that I could not stand about her and how confused they made me. Now that NC is here I focus on the RED FLAGS. Also, not to sound like an a$$ but Iam the one who ended the relationship and I feel like I have a bit of the control. I would much rather of ended it than her ending it and me left crying in my beer. I just wish I had the power to read her mind over the last 2 weeks. Im hoping she is taking this time to analyze herself and the selfishness that she brings to a relationship. I also have the benefit of knowing what she would bring to her next relationship because she did the same crap before me, during me and I know......after me.
mikeey Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 i broke NC with my xbf...after just over 2 weeks...crap crap crap! well, he contacted me via email and i responded...i know...banging head on brick wall:o but in a way i am glad...now I KNOW how he feels...still...maybe he will straighten up and fly right this time...not hoping for much...but maybe ..one day we can get back together...who knows..???? but NO, we r not even close to talking on the phone, let alone get back together...although he as left me 3 messages today alone...hmmmm? anyway, has anyone else broken NC this week????? BE honest! am i the only dummy??? You're not a dummy. We're all tempted ....Back in the wagon hon. You've fallen off...back on. Maybe one day you guys can get back together.....maybe...BUT you'll never know if you give in or even worse, initiate contact. The ball is in your court....well it was. GET IT BACK. If he wants to try again...he'll let you know. Then you can explore. Stay strong!
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 You're not a dummy. We're all tempted ....Back in the wagon hon. You've fallen off...back on. Maybe one day you guys can get back together.....maybe...BUT you'll never know if you give in or even worse, initiate contact. The ball is in your court....well it was. GET IT BACK. If he wants to try again...he'll let you know. Then you can explore. Stay strong! thanx mikeey... ya, he emailed me and i responded...oh well... BUT, he has left me 3 vmails today, and i have NOT answered any of them...so maybe the ball is back in my court.. rhonian... keep doing the NC...i am happy ur doing soo good...it's not easy.. i have done it for 2 yrs with my xh OW and over one year with my XH, so i am doing good with those NC's..LOL but this recent R, has me torn to shreds...i broke it off with him..he needs to 'fix' a few things...but OMG, i miss him so much...his smell, touch, etc...but i did do what u r doing.. i actually made a poster of ALL the nasty mean things he has said to me and done...and every time i feel weak, i read them, posted over my monitor... but i have been SO weak this last few days, with my girlie so sick...i saw his email and just opened ...and then replied with stuff i am OK with and some stuff i wish i would NOT have said... anyway, time to start the NC over right... so, like i said, if anyone else reads this, rhonian and i have good ideas to keep the NC going...keep a list either on paper or somewhere u can C it everyday, of the MEAN things they have done or said...it really does work...i just got weak yesterday...today tho, i am feeling much stronger and also, like mikeey said, the ball is back in MY court... geesh, am i playing games now...??? ok, thank you so much for your posts and time... take care...dela;)
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 YAHOO! seriously, GreenPolicy! i think LS should have an emoticon for the successful NC's...really! so until they make one... here is a BIG ol' HURRAH for you GreenPolicy and EVERYONE else that is working so hard on keeping up the NC! Congrats! i know it is VERY hard...!!! take care, dela:love:
strangeways Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 90 something days for me. Don't even consider it NC anymore. It can be done. I've had it easy though as she's never once tried to contact me since she left.
homebrew Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 (edited) Because I am a SISSY... NC is EASY for me. 1. What I hear or find out will hurt. 2. I have a low tolerance for pain. (self inflected is my least favorite) Edited December 24, 2010 by homebrew
blover Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 i broke NC today too after 5 days. She contacted on FB chat and i rpelied..hru..good..the usual..then worst of all..i asked her for the reply to my email asking her to think what she is doing and think about us...she says anytime in person...what a heartless woman..feel totally gutted...i also know she is doing the whole online dating thing...moving on is so trivial for some..
PowerOfOne Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Because I am a SISSY... NC is EASY for me. 1. What I hear or find out will hurt. 2. I have a low tolerance for pain. (self inflected is my least favorite) Haha. HB, your the same as me. Good on those that are battling with it and winning! Top work! I'm on 34 days now. I'm terrified she'll try and make contact and i'll be sent back to day one. I did tell her at the breakup that being friends was not a good idea despite her wanting to. Thankfully she's kept it up. Although she has been out of the country for the last month which probably helped.
Myst Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 NC for me for just a bit over 3 months. Yay. I was the one that broke it off (i did it via text). He treated me crappy so he didnt deserve an in-person breakup Hes been the one thats contacted me the last 2 times. Once on the same week i broke it off with him (he texted me telling me he missed me-i didnt reply). The most recent contact was him texting me this week an xmas message -i did not and will not reply. NC rocks!!!!!!!!!!
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 sounds like ur all doing great! like i said i broke over 2 wks NC when my x contacted me via email...i responded...and i haven't slept since..ill get over it. now he has left 3 vmails, i am so NOT returning those calls... so now i am @ 3 days NC..yeay!!! and counting...i can do this .. blover, no worries, i KNOW exactly how u feel...said some things u prolly wish u hadnt, after a good NC time and now it feels like the ball is back in her court..ack..i know i hate that feeling... u can do this tho...just start over...and time will go by... if u all keep posting and keep encouraging...i can do this, we can all keep the NC going..and get some sleep..LOL y can't i sleep when i have contact with my x???? what is that all about? anyway... Merry Christmas everyone!!! and keep up the great NC work!!! Cheers to a Fabulous Holiday w/o the x's;) xoxox Dela;) p.s. come on LS, where r those NC emoticons..
blover Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 deelajoonal - thank you. I posted an update on my thread but wanted to repost here as well. After todays no contact failure (FB chat and subsequent reply of "anytime in person" and a sense of her easily moving on), i think something inside me clicked. It might just be a phase i am going through, but since the break up this is the first time i have felt this way....this pining, whining and moaning over someone who does not even care is useless. NO. i am worth much more than this. Someone in the other forum said "Revenge is living the best life". It stuck. After I am back home next week, I am going to do the following - - move to the city (i live in the suburb and we have been pretty much to all places) - get an entirely new and upgraded wardrobe ( i was never a great dresser but you know what, i wanted to be one but never could. Now, I will dress like the best of them) - I have 2 girls in mind who i would like to ask out (girls who work in shops i frequent). Not for anything serious..but just something i wanted to do. even if they say No, i atleast would have asked - set up my new place in a trendy way and invite all my friends over for a nice house warming. - FB IS EVIL. I WILL LOG IN ONLY WHEN I HAVE NEWS TO SHARE..NOT TO LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLES UPDATES. - my world will rotate around me. Its about me. The world will see a new me, a much more confident, much more stronger me. I owe this to myself. I promise. oh and she said in the FB chat she was very sick...you know, i cant help you since i am out of the country..so i dont see a point asking you how you are...hope you get well..but i wont ask you..not even wish for new years. thank you guys...today was bad but today also was good. Hope this is not a phase and just the first step in my recovery. Oh one more thing - before i broke NC, i was having one of my super emotional and pining phases and ordered a fancy expensive new year necklace for her. How stupid. But its ok. I'll keep it, its meant for the girl who really deserves to have it.
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 deelajoonal - thank you. I posted an update on my thread but wanted to repost here as well. After todays no contact failure (FB chat and subsequent reply of "anytime in person" and a sense of her easily moving on), i think something inside me clicked. It might just be a phase i am going through, but since the break up this is the first time i have felt this way....this pining, whining and moaning over someone who does not even care is useless. NO. i am worth much more than this. Someone in the other forum said "Revenge is living the best life". It stuck. After I am back home next week, I am going to do the following - - move to the city (i live in the suburb and we have been pretty much to all places) - get an entirely new and upgraded wardrobe ( i was never a great dresser but you know what, i wanted to be one but never could. Now, I will dress like the best of them) - I have 2 girls in mind who i would like to ask out (girls who work in shops i frequent). Not for anything serious..but just something i wanted to do. even if they say No, i atleast would have asked - set up my new place in a trendy way and invite all my friends over for a nice house warming. - FB IS EVIL. I WILL LOG IN ONLY WHEN I HAVE NEWS TO SHARE..NOT TO LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLES UPDATES. - my world will rotate around me. Its about me. The world will see a new me, a much more confident, much more stronger me. I owe this to myself. I promise. oh and she said in the FB chat she was very sick...you know, i cant help you since i am out of the country..so i dont see a point asking you how you are...hope you get well..but i wont ask you..not even wish for new years. thank you guys...today was bad but today also was good. Hope this is not a phase and just the first step in my recovery. Oh one more thing - before i broke NC, i was having one of my super emotional and pining phases and ordered a fancy expensive new year necklace for her. How stupid. But its ok. I'll keep it, its meant for the girl who really deserves to have it. well...i LOVED reading your new post!!! i think the new wardrobe and a house warming party will be Fabulous!...to show off the New and Fabulous U:D C, i am a true believer in EVERTHING happens for a reason... so while u broke ur NC on fb..and said things u wished u could take back etc...and she, apparently is a cold hearted uhum, person... u have realized, because of that convo, that u R BETTER than that... bEtter than what she deserves...U deserve better!!! GO FOR IT!!! and don't forget to post about 'those' girls u want to ask out? let us know how that goes... i am smiling as i am typing this..because u have helped me as well... in YOUR recovery, u r helping others recover as well... so u prolly should feel perty amazing right now... and have a wonderful Holiday!!! looking foward to ALL your new plans... keep us posted and updated, OK..
blover Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 btw delajoonal - I am from cali too - northern cali, where are you located?
blover Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I am glad its helping others. I will keep posting here....the key timings are the mornings - thats when i am at my worst, i wake up thinking of her (usually much earlier than normal), then pine for her...hopefully i can focus on myself and get over it soon....i know for a fact though, that the love i have for her will last forever. I loved in all honesty and completely. the fact that she failed to value it is her loss...
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 well, xbf emailed 4 days ago, i stupidly responded and broke NC.. he has also left 3 vmails yesterday and now another vmail this morning... argh!! GO AWAY!!! i have not broken the 'new' NC in 4 days... he needs to stop calling...ugh, the sound of his voice is making me crazy... do not break...right? ok, i will be ok:eek: anyone else having this problem? where u r doing so well with your NC, and the X keeps emailing or calling or something? what r u all doing? ignoring, responding ??? thanx, XO
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I've not gotten to NC yet, but there are reasons for that. Just stay stronge! to thine own self be true...
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 I've not gotten to NC yet, but there are reasons for that. Just stay stronge! to thine own self be true... AZ, i have been reading some of your posts/responses and u r a very articulate and kind person... i like what u have to say;) would u mind if i went back and read up on your story...what brought u to LS? thank you again... i appreciate your time and words;)
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I've not posted what brought me here, yet. I came just today and started reading. I was in pain and in tears and just looking for something to do. I used to be the person everyone went to for advice, but over the years lost contact with everyone. When I read all the problems and hurt I could not help but respond with my own experinces. If they help people then my day is made even if my pain is still raw and bleeding!
Author delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 AZ... i went back to find an OT by u...but came across a post to someone that was suidicidal... i am at a loss for words...your story...omg...what u have overcome...to say the least... i truly have no words...i cried, i thought..deeply... i can honestly, u have changed my thought pattern and possibly my life... i have never read a story like yours...something only on TV right.. but here u r..and Thank GOD u r!!! AZ...when my brain fully comprehends what i just read, as i am going to re-read ur post...i will write more.. all i can say now, is thank you ....and thank God for u... gosh, i really wish you would make an OT of your story...LS'ers REALLY need to hear it...it is an amazing survival story and what u r STILL going thru... GOD Bless u sweetie...truly!!!! XOXOXOXO dela:)
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Well I post a thread with a short of my story so you can read there. My life is just that life. I will handle the blows dealt to me and move through with a smile cause I get to watch my baby bird grow up nothing could make me happier even if it is hell right now.
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