Suki18 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 (edited) And he knows it. I bursted into tears the other day because of all these bottled up emotions that I kept inside me for the past few months. We've been together for 3 years broke up twice, he was the one that broke up with me b/c he wanted to find himself wanted to see what it was like to be single. Our first break up only lasted a day or two and the second break up lasted a month. He was the one that initiated the contact in wanting us to get back together. So now I feel like its back to square one. I feel like I am putting all my emotional energy into the relationship and receiving nothing back. I just didn't think he was interested in me anymore and doesn't care for me. I take care of him when he is sick even when he is sick drunk. The one time I get sick drunk he complains! When I want to go out and tell him that I want to watch a movie insisting that I will pay for it cause I knew that he didn't have money at the time, he didn't want to go. On our third anniversary a week before it we were planning to go out to dinner. Then the day before our anniversary he said that we should celebrate it another day because he has to work out at the gym and wake up early to take a quiz. I got so pissed because he has gone out to clubs to drink till like 1-2 am and had school early the next day. I didn't understand why he couldn't take 2 hours of his day to have dinner with me. I insisted that we do a road trip or take a train to go somewhere and he said that he wont have time to do that. But then he goes on saying that hes going leave in the summer for two months to visit his brother in Europe. Its always me, me, me, I, I, I and I'm not included in any of it. I know that I always include him in everything and it is NOT all the time either. I dont ask for much at all. Its when I do have the money I just want to go do something with him, do something spontaneous! but its always no with him. When he does ask me to do things with him I'm always there to support him. I just feel like every time I come up with something for us to do together, just the two of us, its not good enough for him. Almost everything that we do together is with a group of people. And just once in a while I ask for us to do something together its like he isn't interested, doesn't have time to do it, or he gives me this "uugh" or "sigh". I told him how I felt and everything I have said above and he said he was sorry and that he will try to change. He said, "I'm sorry, I dont know whats wrong with me, but I really do love you." I just feel like I always come second or last to him and I always put him first. I just want to know what I can do for "myself"? I feel like I'm always trying to please him, do things for him and it never seems to work out. I want to be strong and be selfish for myself just for once. I just don't know how to go about it? I just feel like disappearing and make him appreciate me more now that I am gone. I feel like just giving up and just not try at all anymore. I don't know what I can do...any suggestions? Edited December 23, 2010 by Suki18
january2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I'm sorry that you're in pain. It does sound like he's not giving you much respect in this relationship. He picks you up whenever he wants to and puts you back down again when he doesn't. You're like his toy yo-yo. And you're allowing him to do this. It's a good starting point that you've recognised his selfishness. You seem like a loving and caring person. Time to direct that love and care towards yourself. Drop him and don't look back, he isn't worth your time and effort.
Author Suki18 Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 Yeah that's the hardest part. Letting go of someone who I've been with for 3 years, getting to know his family, made new friends through him. I don't know what to do. Its like I want to leave but I don't want to because I'm hoping that we can get closer together. Its a hard decision to make! I'm just really confused...I know I need to focus more on myself and be happy with myself and NOT just be happy for making someone else happy, if that makes sense.
PandorasBox Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 You deserve better. Think more of yourself than to stay in this unhealthy situation. A relationship is about give and take not just take, and it sounds like thats what he is doing. Life is to short for you to waste your time and energy on someone that isn't willing to put forth as much into the relationship as you do. I know you're hurting right now, and I'm sorry you're going through this.
sfranks1492 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 You are right. He sounds very selfish and immature. It sounds like it's all about him and not about both of you. There are always three sides to a story, your side, his side and the correct side. I'm sure he has his points too, but it sounds like he simply is not ready to be in a mature relationship that requires compromise and give and take. He takes and doesn't return the favor. You may need to let him go in order to determine if he truly is worth holding onto or if he will come back ready for a mature relationship. Good luck
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