Uglyjealousy Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Yes I know, when you look for something you and you actually find it, you wished you hadn't at all....but, I don't have regrets actually doing the deed, just finding out the actual truth and wishing it isn't the truth!! I'm devastated to have found out that my boyfriend lied to me. When I asked him in the beginning if he was married (having been lied to in the past when other men have asked me out and they were married, oh yes, social networking sites are so convenient to find out if someone is married or not sometimes!), he said no but that he came close to it...but I still couldn't get the nagging feeling out and went through his stuff and found letters and photos from someone calling herself his "wife!" but she lives in another country. He once stated that he used to send money over to family in another country but didn't specify who exactly and in the letters, his "wife" asked for money to be sent to her in that other country. I don't know if they're still married or not but just the fact that he lied really makes me angry about it. And I also feel a bit envy, considering the romantic love letters he wrote for his other exes. I feel as though, why don't I get them as well? How come I don't deserve these things as well, such as having flowers bought with romantic letters? He wrote a lengthy letter to one of his exes for her birthday when they were still together about how special is she is while for mine, all he got me is a bottle of wine. I know, it's in the past and those are his failed relationships, but I can't help but compare and wonder why I don't get any of those romantic things either and why did he have to lie about being married (or divorced)!? I'm wondering whether I should confess that I looked through his stuff and confront him about why he lied about his "wife" in another country and that his exes got better treatment than me or just leave without saying anything?
january2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 You might like to google "retroactive jealousy." Given the number of times you've made the comparison between you and your boyfriend's exes, I suspect that you're not going to be able to hold back in confronting him about what you've found. While I don't support your snooping, I do suggest that you clarify your boyfriend's marital status, with him given that a monogamous relationship is important to you.
CandyHeart Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Whats in the past is in the past. He doesn't do the same thing as he did with his exs because they are failed relationships...maybe he does not want to repeat the past? Maybe he feels you would just feel love that he has for you without having to write it down in a love letter?
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