hard to live with this...

[I have no title]

I have been navigating around this forum, and I read a numerous amount of stories similar to mine..I decided to register and help those I can help with advices.....I dont think I do need any advice because everything is clear to me, but I just wanted to speak myself, because I feel so hurt and sad right now..

So here is my story : I met him 2 years ago in my school..he fell in love with me, and at some point I also did, so we started dating..everything was amaizing, he was the loveliest sweetheart on this planet...I was only 16 and I was a little too emotional, maybe too impulsive....we were fighting sometimes because of that, cause I always had to say something hurtfull to him, I always had something to stick to and blame him for that....Nevertheless we kept being very close for 1 year..we were classmates so obviously we saw each other every single day, and then we kept on being together for the rest of the day either at his or my place.....but the time passed and the high school education was over...We picked different universities in different countries..we promised each other to stay together, but I think at that point he was already sick of us fighting and always quarelling, so as soon as we were separated, he forgot about me....(he didnt call, didnt write, he decided to dissapear)....I didnt know that, even though that seemed strange to me that he suddenly stopped calling and texting me at all, but i still loved him very much so I kept on calling him for .yeah...for 6 more months....everytime he was tellin me that he loves me, that he is missing me, that he will soon visit me.....that didnt happen....When the 6th month of us not seeing each other and him being kinda cold to me came, I decided to visit him....everything was different....he told me he loved me, but I could see his feelings were not the same as a long time ago...moreover, I noticed that he was always texting and talking to some girl, which he said was just his friend.....I came back, he told me he loved me and stuff, told me he wants to be with me and doesnt want to break up with me..but once I came back to my university, I found his password from his facebook...and I saw he was dating that girl he was writing with from a long time....from around 4 months....I told him I knew everything...he said he didnt wanna tell me cause he didnt want to hurt me...he said he likes her, but he wanted to get over that and be with me again..

We broke up, and decided to be friends...I didnt want to talk to him, so everytime I was online he was writing to me **** like "how are you, I want to know your problems, Im still thinkin about a future with you, we someday should be together " ....all those sorts of things...I dont really take them seriously, cause he's probably just playing....

I know I gotta let it go, gotta stop thinking about him...but its hard though..We didnt talk for 10 days already, cause he's on a winter holliday with his new gf right now...and when he is going to return and enter his skype again, he's gonna write to me bull**** like "how are you? how was your holliday?" and I should reply just as a friend and smile...it sucks so much....I only hope she is better than me, and she doesnt scream and blame him as I used to do..Im still thinking sometimes that he would understand I was better and come back to me...its one of my dreams, that I know would never come true.....I just cant stop thinking about us..and the memories...

[Chi townD]

Okay, you were in deep. The fighting before going off to University, that's common. It's easier to leave mad than to leave when things are good, so...subconsiously, you fight a lot to make the break tolerable. However, he jumped right into cheating on yoy and that's never good (obviously).

 

You have to stop torturing yourself. I mean, my God! HE CURRENTLY VACATIONING WITH THIS OTHER GIRL!!!! Sorry, but let me ask you this, Do you REALLY think that you can be in a committed and loving relationship and then just the next day, take a step back and just be friends? Doesn't happen. He had 100% of you and he should get nothing. Peroid!

 

You said you screwed up in the relation, okay. That's cool that you recognize what went wrong on your part. Now, use that knowledge in future relationships.

 

While he's gone, this would be a good time to drop him from your Skype account, FB page and anything else that can be social networking. I would also suggest comprising an NC letter. Really, its time to move on.

[I have no title]

Chi townD I perfectly understand what you mean....Of course I cannot be his friend and stuff, thats impossible and I told him that.....but he kept on writing and being concerned with how my life is - and I know he was just doing that to check whether I still have feelings for him or not...

And thank you for suggesting to delete him from everywhere, cause its rlly killing me when he is writing to me telling me what a nice and adorable relationship we had, and how sorry he is for all what happened...I'll delete him, cause I dont want him to ever write again.

What should I write in my NC letter? I already told him that I want to move on, that I dont want to talk to him and so on, but he would start saying how precious I am for him and bull**** like that, and how much he wants to contact me...damn im so sick of that....I am moving on with my life...im just thinking about all what happened from time to time....yeah and I miss him sometimes....

[mikeey]

Looks like he doesn't want to lose you....He just wants his cake and the ability to eat it too. Sorry, but you can't give him that. Ignore him..without any explanation. It will eat him alive. And I think it's ok to miss/think about your ex.....but as long as you remain committed to NC, time will heal those wounds. AND, if he truly wants to come back to you one day....the ball will be in your court to decide.

[cboy90]

It seems it's more common that when the dumper leaves you for someone else, the other person isn't always a step up.

 

The way I see it, if your going to dump someone, at least take a step up. My ex did the exact opposite. I have a college education and have my head on straight. I know exactly where I'm going in life. This new kid she is with (started dating him the night she dumped me, after us being together for almost 4 years) is a drug addict and high school drop out and he is in rehab. I know her parents are proud of her for that .

 

I wouldn't get too down on yourself. You sound like an amazing girl! He's the one for being stupid and leaving you.

 

He didn't take a step-up, or a step-down. He just fell off the stairs.

[Chi townD]

FIrst! Go ahead and Delete him. EVERYTHING!!! Then, send him and e-mail stating that this is the last time that he's gonna hear from you because you have to have this time to heal and move on with your life. You can go on and say that If he loves and respects you as much as says he does, then he should respect your wishes and leave you alone. Then, close that e-mail account and re-establish a new one for yourself. Then Done...

[I have no title]

Thanks a lot guys! I actually didn't expect such a reaction, I thought people would call me naive for holding on to him for 6 months and closing my eyes on the way he treated me all this time...now finally the truth is revealed so the only thing I got to decide is how to enter the NC mode....I'd actually rather prefer deleting him from everywhere and never giving an explanation for that cause I already told him a 100000 times that im NOT gonna talk to him and im NOT going to contact him in any way..I actually dont think he is going to bother if he will see that im not responding to his messages.

Im glad that I at least managed to hold myself and not call or text him....I remember how I used to call him and he would just tell me "I got another girl do you understand? i dont need you, leave me alone" and I would just cry...I went through such a humiliation, so thats why I wouldnt like to write him one more letter, cause I know that would make him think im still thinking about him and im missing him - I dont want that....but THANKS a lot for responding!