To everyone struggling with No Contact

[AngeletteX]

I don’t know if this post will have an impact on anyone but I felt compelled to put it out there. (note: this was initally posted in the OW/OM section but thought it was appropriate here as well)

 

Last night I was dealing with a suicidal friend (under a different context, she’s not in an A) and I told her even though we all crave some sort of stability in our lives, THE ONLY THING CONSTANT IN LIFE IS CHANGE.

 

I wanted to share this thought with those who are hurting (not that I think any of you are suicidal btw, just dealing with a lot of pain like my friend) because if you are hurting due to NC today - that feeling will change. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not the next day. But it WILL change. I guarantee it.

 

I don’t think it matters whether NC was decided by you or for you - because ultimately what it is, is a change. And changes are usually never as smooth as we’d like it to be. Going away to school, starting a new job, having a baby, losing a parent - all these things are about moving from one situation to another and they do not happen without some sort of struggle. It’s the same with NC.

 

When you are in the middle of being in pain (or uncertainty, or confusion, or chaos etc), what you want is for all of it to “just go away”. It’s human nature to be impatient and want things to happen Right Now. When we broke a toy as a child, we wanted it fixed. When we lose our jobs, we want a new one. When we hurt, we want to NOT hurt. Right Now or As Soon As Possible.

 

But sometimes transitions are like baking a cake. You measure out the ingredients, mix the batter and place it in the oven. Checking on it constantly will not make it bake any faster. You just have to trust that when the timer goes off, the cake will be done.

 

So trust yourself and know that you have taken the right steps for your life (measuring and mixing), trust the Universe that the right things have happened or are happening in your life even if you can’t see the positive outcome Right Now (the baking). And believe that when the timer goes off, the life you’ll be living will be perfect for YOU.

 

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

Never think that God’s delays are God’s denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius. ~Comte de Buffon

 

P.S. My friend is still alive…..but I worry about her pain.

[PowerOfOne]

Great post Angelette. Really need it today. I'm on day 33 of NC (just had to count it out ha!) and after feeling pretty good for the last week i've hit a bloody wall this arvo... I know it'll be better in a few hours or by the latest lunch time tomorrow. Just gotta plow through it.

 

Loved the quote by the way. It's exactly what i keep telling myself.

 

Hope everything works out with your friend. It's not easy to be there for people in that state but you're an amazing person to be there for her.

[nea clementine]

Great post, and very timely as well. This holiday season is a bit frightening for me, but after reading your post, I think I'll survive just fine.

Thanks for posting it. Merry Christmas and God bless!

[nea clementine]

Great post, and very timely as well. This holiday season is a bit frightening for me, but after reading your post, I think I'll survive just fine.

Thanks for posting it. Merry Christmas and God bless!

[worlybear]

Really good post.Very helpful. Many thanks.

[J0N]

Yes excellent post, NC is very tough at first but as time passes it gets easier and easier. At a point you realize that you haven't thought about your ex for a couple days and NC just becomes second nature. It's not easy, but ultimately it's the only choice you have to really get over your ex.

[Breakupguy12]

I've experienced NC as well as suicidal thoughts, and as you mentioned, if you wait it out, time will heal the wounds to the point where the person you longed for as well as the issues that resulted in the suicidal thoughts are a distant memory.