My situation with my ex

[amagordos]

So let me tell you my story. I came here because I don't want my friends and family to know how I feel. They think I'm okay right now, but truth be told I'm not. I have been really sad these last couple of days and I wan't to know why. Everyone here has very insightful opinions so I'm going to try to make my story as short as possible.

 

About six months ago, I met a guy on a dating website and we hit it off. After two weeks of dating, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted. I had never had a boyfriend before him, so that made him my first. I wasn't that attracted to him, but I liked his personality so I accepted, hoping that I would fall for him as i got to know him better.

Everything was so nice for a month, because he would call me all the time and say the sweetest things and I was just getting to know him and vice versa. I was feeling comfortable with him and that is hard for me because I am usually really shy.

 

Then, after the " honeymoon" stage is over, coming into our second month, things start to change. He becomes really busy with school and he suddenly doesn't come and see me anymore. The thing is that since he lived an hour away from me and he didn't have much money he couldn't come often. He starts making excuses for not coming and he doesn't call as often and he forgets many things. I am unexperienced girl and my much more experienced cousin told me this was normal. Normal or not I did not like this at all.

 

I confront him one day over the phone, since it had been weeks since our last date and he explains to me that has no money to come and see me and I try to be understanding. Finally he finds a day we can meet up and that involves me going closer to him. I leave him a message with his friend and he never replies so I assume he didn't receive it. I don't show up and turns out he does and waits for 2 hours. That night I decided to break up with him and I call him and tell him this.

 

 

What does he do? He acts all non-chalant about it. His voice doesn't even crack when he speaks to me. It sounds like he could care less. I tell him we should just be friends and he talks me out of it by telling me that he did show up and waited for me. I felt bad, so I decide not to break it up. I'm still thinking why he said he was cool with us being friends if that is what I wanted

 

Well I do end up breaking up with him. I send him an email telling him we should just be friends and he doesn't respond. After a month, he talks to me and asks how I've been ( this is on facebook). I reply back, but try not to talk to much to him.

 

Days later he is suddenly dating this other girl. I see that and I don't care at this point, I'm relieved and happy for him. I go on with my life and immerse myself in my studies. Well school is over and I'm bored out of my mind and suddenly i have been thinking a lot about him. I don't know if it's because i'm feeling lonely or is it because I truly miss him.

 

Now he has been dating this girl for months and he constantly has pictures of her and him together and they look so happy and It freaking bothers me and I feel trapped. I have been upset these last few days thinking about why he didn't seem act that way with me. We never took pictures and flaunted the relationship. Suddenly he is on facebook all the time and with me he was never on it that much. Things like those bother me. Maybe i am jealous and maybe its because it was my first relationship.

 

He told me he was falling for me, but he sure didn't show it and I told him I liked him but that I wasn't in love with him yet. I don't know if I do love him or its because he was my first boyfriend that I feel this way.

 

Some insight please, sorry it was long

Edited December 23, 2010 by amagordos

[lost.lamb]

Hi. This is coming from a girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend. Although I have removed my ex off my Facebook, I can still see his wall. Trust me, having your ex as friends when you aren't over him is not going to help.

 

Action over words. Your boyfriend told you that he was falling for you but he showed that he cares more for his current girlfriend by showing that he has fallen for her.

 

I suggest that you remove him off your Facebook until you have moved on and ready to be only friends with him.

 

Even if he gives you a chance to date him again, don't. That guy is not worth your time. If you two date again, I bet you that he won't post pictures of you two together like he does with his current.

 

Let him go. Throw that heavy burden he's given you away.

[amagordos]

So you think I should delete him? I want to really, but Im going to look like an idiot or a bitch for that matter because Im the one that suggested we stayed friends and I'm going to delete him and he will know that I might not be over it. I don't know im over him because I didn't really love him, see that's what confuses me. I broke up with him because he didn't seem to care about me and now he acts all lovey dovey with this girl and that is what is eating me up inside, most of all. Thanks for replying to me. I'm just mostly confused about my feelings, but you make a good point