lalalandman Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 So, a 'rebound' relationship turned serious kind of sort of ended when she left last night. I was with my ex for 4 years, but mostly she cheated and kept me secret. After hooking up with multiple guys, one day my ex said she wanted to date other people. I met my "rebound" 2 weeks later. We got serious really fast. She moved in. Her family loves me. We have dinners together and even go to movies. My dog is currently at her moms house. What happened is my ex started stalking and calling off the hook. She even came to my house unexpected twice when I wasn't there and my new gf was there...this is how they met. gahhh. When she met my new gf, which I already told her about, she got even more crazy. Also my gf's ex was after her and tried calling incessantly. Anyways, we actually genuinely cared for one another. We love each other a lot, and we were gearing to move north to the city together. Anyways, 2 months later, it was too much. My gf caved and went to see her ex behind my back. She told me the same night and was ready to leave me. I told her she was making a huge mistake, so she left, and came back crying 3 hours later in the middle of the night saying she knows she doesn't want him and wants me. We both had similar falling out with our exs where we just stopped talking because of a fight. so apparently she needed closure. The rest of that week she seemed off, and she said she felt stupid for doing that. She also felt like she didn't trust me, which, honestly, I had talked with my ex behind her back the day she left, but she kind of caught me. I was trying to calm my ex down because, well, she's crazy. So, I told her she didn't seem the same anymore after her encounter with her ex. She decided she needed to stay with her mom because she needed space. I guess I was pressing her alot. But she seemed off. I said fine, I'm leaving the house for the entire day, if you want to leave you have all day to pack and go, but I mean, i did cry, and told her she shouldn't go. I got back at midnight and all her things were gone....This is 3 months after we met. So, that was last night. Tonight she texts me and says "I hope you're doing ok, and that you understand why I need to do this. If and when you want to talk". Honestly, I care a LOT about this rebound girl. She was everything my ex wasn't . and sweet. and we loved each other, and saw a future with each other. but outside things were attacking us. I don't know how to respond to her text. I met with my ex and explained how much I like this girl. My ex feels dumb now, and apologized. My heart is in a weird, strange place. How do I respond to her text? What to do what to do?
IfiKnewThen Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 DONT let external forces get in your way. you like/love this R girl. and you dont have to look at it as a labeled 'rebound". she is a person you met soon after your ex. yes you have to heal old wounds and so does..(let's call her the new girl) the new girl : ) so you both have to heal old wounds. but dont LET the old relationships in. text her back or call. and say you understand or want to understand. tell her you feel this crazy pressure to from external sources. but that together..she and yourself can conquer these past relationships by by giving them their proper boundaries and and kicking them to the curb while you two continue to keep getting acquainted in your own little haven. it seems the new girl does still struggle with her feelings for the ex. she may feel bad for HIm now. he may be trying to make her feel sorry for him, etc. if you guys carry these old relationships into this current relationship...it will poison it. if you were all real friends fine. but these ex's sound like they are proactively seeking to get you guys back and destroy your relationship. just sounds like it. yes you kinda did move to fast...like moving in together. would have been better to date each other more outside of living together. but whats done is done. date. get away with each other. but the physical presense of these ex's spell disaster for your current relationship. IMO
IfiKnewThen Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 ps. oh yeah. talk to her ...call her asap
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