northern_sky Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 I need to whine. Hahaha. I hate this time of the year. I am in bed with the flu the night before I'm leaving for NY to see my family. As I lay here in an empty room, I wonder why it is that I'm alone. I have no friends here and a family a few hours away to whom I'm not close. What makes me so different from people that I can't form normal connections? Pathetic as it is, I'm pining over a guy who I had a casual relationship with for a few months, despite the fact that he never really let me in. But we had enough of a connection, and enough emotional moments, that I miss him so much. It was a pretty intense connection for me, and I can't imagine it was totally in my head. I've never felt the potential for a connection like that with any guy. I think I am sort of in love with him. It sucks, because he obviously has zero feelings for me. And I feel worse about that than not being close to my family and not having female friends irl. It's so irrational. I can't understand my brain. How do I find people, and even if i do find them will I still feel this intense need for a connection like I briefly had with that guy? Will I still feel like something huge is missing without that? Anyway, happy holidays everyone.
OceanGirl Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 I hate this time of the year too. I went through a period where I had a number of good connections and real life relationships (with my family, female friends, male friends, boss, co-workers). I still felt empty and like a part of me is missing without that romantic connection. I hate myself for feeling that way but I can't help it. Now that all those connections are dissolving, I am starting to see how bad things can really be.
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