I need to move on but love is stopping me from doing so, long story please help!

[Digital]

Hi,

 

I have a huge story to share with all of you. You guys might be able to help me out, i really

 

love this girl and i would give her anything i have just to see her smile.

 

The story begins back in december of 2003, when i realized i really liked this girl, her name is

 

christina. So decemeber 27th we both realized we could be together, so we had our first kiss on

 

my bed after watching the movie christmas vacation. Ever since then we were not able to be

 

seperated. A couple days into the relationship she asked me to go to the club, but since i am not

 

a dance i declined her offer. She called me up during the night asking to be picked up from the

 

club, i of course said yea i will pick you up. I never been to this part of the state before, the

 

drive was about 40 minutes and i had to drive it on my own since no one else wanted to come with

 

me. So i was stressed out about the whole entire thing by the time i got to her i had an

 

attitude. I kinda didnt take it out on her or anything but i felt bad i was kinda pissed off so i

 

bought her roses and gave them to her the next morning. About 1 week later she wanted to break up

 

with me because she said she hardly had any time to hang out with her friends and she knew i didnt

 

like her hanging out with other guys, but i told her i dont care who she hangs out with and what

 

not. So we got by that. About 2 weeks later she realized she loved me and she was hurt in the

 

past when she loved this other guy and she couldnt take the pain so she thought if she broke up

 

with me then she wouldnt have to deal with as much pain, but i told her i would never hurt her and

 

we stayed together. I believe a couple days before i met her real dad which came up from another

 

state to see her, and he was telling her not to go the same route he did when he was young and she

 

wasnt really paying attention so i told her pay attention, and as soon as i said that he realized

 

that i cared for her and he liked me for that he also thanked me for picking her up the couple

 

weeks ago when she was at the club. Anyways so her dad liked me and her step dad and mom were

 

still getting to know me better and they eventually knew i was a nice kid and what not. One day a

 

couple weeks after she came running over my house to see me in her new outfit, and i loved it and

 

everything. About 30 minutes later she was online she was talking to a random dude who messaged

 

her asking if she wanted to go to this beach house to drink by themselves, she said no at first,

 

she called up her friends and none of them wanted to go so she told him maybe some other time, but

 

eventually she gave in and said she would go. Now i knew what the hell this dude wanted to do,

 

and i didnt quite exactly fully trust christina and i told her no to go, so she called her mom up

 

and asked to be picked up from my house and she ran upstairs and waited by the window like a dog

 

watching his master come to the door, this made me feel like **** cuz she was running for this

 

random dude while i was her boyfriend and she was only with me for about 30 minutes that night.

 

So she left and went home and we talked online and i told her, promise me you wont do anything

 

with this guy and she said i promise. Well i believed her, so me and my friends went out cuz

 

there was nothing else to do. She called me up during the night asking to be dropped off at my

 

house to see me, so i met this dude who just took my girlfriend out. So i am driving her home and

 

she tells me, she had no urge to cheat on me and she realized she truly loves me and no one else.

 

Now i bought into this thinking she really didnt do anything, but about 3 days later she asked me

 

what i would do if i found out she kinda cheated on me, i told her i would dump her instantly cuz

 

there is no such thing as cheating if u love someone, well she said she got caught up in the

 

moment and made out with this random dude. Now i took this hard and i didnt know what to do, she

 

promised me and this **** happened. I told her i still loved her and i wasnt sure what to do, so

 

she went home and so did i. Without knowning what to do i asked my friends for advice which was

 

wrong, they told me never to talk to her again. So i listened to them , i called herup and told

 

her i didnt want to go out with her again, she started to cry the entire night. THe next day i

 

felt so much like **** cuz we were always together and she was missing from my life. I knew i had

 

to follow my heart so i called her up asking if she wanted to see me and of course she did, now it

 

was snowing really bad but i got a ride over to her house and she had dinner setup in her room

 

with candles and roses and music and the whole 9 yards, it was so nice. So we were back together

 

and that night marked one of our anniversarys. Well we were together every night after that,

 

always had something to do, i always used to watch her get ready in the bathroom put her makeup on

 

if we were going out, we would watch tv and movies and go online together and it was all good, i

 

was starting to be more myself around her and loving every second i was with her. Well eventually

 

something bad happened, i made a bad choice which kinda messed everything up. Christina had an

 

idea of a test to see if i would cheat on her, so she got her best friend involved. CHristina

 

told me her friend never gave head before and she wanted to practice on me and what not, i told

 

christina no i didnt want her to because she had a boyfriend and i only wanted that to between

 

us... well eventually it happened they both went down on me and after christina told me, that was

 

a test i cant believe you just did that. Now the entire night i was completely shocked and felt

 

so stupid and i regreted letting it happened, but christina made me really feel like i had to do

 

it and she was alright with it completely. Well this was the start of our relationship going down

 

the drain. A couple days later she told me that we were over. I knew there was something more to

 

it than just "cheating" on her so i asked her if there was someone else in her life and she said

 

maybe, she liked this other kid a little. Now i first thought of the whole "cheating" thing as

 

being a scam to just break up with me, so she would look like the good person out of the

 

relationship. Eventually a couple days went by and i was bringing her over to her friends house

 

and she was bossing me around and i completely ignored her when she told me to take the turn to go

 

get her friend, so she hit me in the face. I was so pissed off i did a u turn around drove as

 

fast as i could to her friends house and parked the car, i looked out the window and started to

 

cry silently and she knew what she did to me was very wrong and she todl me she really did love me

 

and she was sorry for doing that. I kept pushing her away and i drove to my old apartment

 

building where i lived long ago i got out of the car and sat on the pourch tring to think of my

 

past and happy things to get her off my mind. I came to my senses and said she really isnt worth

 

it after what she did, so i got back into the car and drove a couple miles and they wanted to goto

 

wendys, i was like no thats it im not bringin them anywhere they can get someone else to do it, so

 

i ignored them and drove back to bring them home, about 3/4 of the way they made me stop the car

 

and christina told her friend to get out of the car so we could be alone and she could talk to me,

 

she told me she wanted me to turn around because she had something to tell me. I didnt care what

 

she had to say i had my mind set on going home... eventually her friend got back into the car and

 

they both tried to cheer me up a little to get me to laugh, eventually it worked and we went back

 

to wendys, then christina came over to my ear and said, will you go back out with me. Now i didnt

 

reply i felt that she needed to learn a lesson, so she was like hmm lets just go back to your

 

house, well we did and filmed a stupid movie thing and before we left me and christina laid on the

 

couch and she asked it again if i wanted to go out with her and of course i had to say yes because

 

we were acting like we did before. Well the next day i went to her house we watched a movie then

 

i went to work, i called her before i left work and she was like, i am on the other line and hung

 

up on me, i figured she would call me back but she didnt so i called her house again and no one

 

answered so i just drove to her house and her dad told me she went out with some kids from school.

 

now i was trying to think of all the people she knew from school who drove and i couldnt think of

 

any of them picking her up, so the whole night i was stressed about where she was. She eventually

 

called me asking where i was! where i was where the hell did u go i wanted to say, she was with

 

the kid she kinda liked when we broke up, i didnt know what to think anymore, so she said she was

 

coming to my house, so she did and we talked, then i was bringing her home and she said, she made

 

her dissision to quick about us going back out and she needed more time to figure out if she

 

wanted to be with me.. I knew it was going to get ugly it made no sense, if she loved me as she

 

said she did why would she be doing this, i cried my eyes out for her and swore to god i never

 

wanted the night to happen with her friend. I could understand, but if she loved me she would of

 

forgived me faster, not try to find another guy to date a couple days after we broke up. So a

 

couple weeks later i was playing the hard to get game where i ignored her and gave her some

 

attitude, and it worked she wanted me back, the night she came over and asked me if i wanted to go

 

back out with her i said i needed 1 more day to figure out what to do. So the next day she asked

 

me to go over and i told her i would, well it ended up being 30 minutes late and she called the

 

kid she liked up 5 minutes before i got to her house and he was on his way to get her, so she told

 

me to leave... this day marked another anniversary and she left me. Later in the night she asked

 

me to pick her up and bring her to her house then bring her back to the kids house! i told her no

 

that is wrong why would i do that. So she got mad at me, the next day i tried to get her to go

 

out with me to get the car washed, she didnt want anything to do with me, and gave me attitude.

 

Later in the day she told me she never wanted to see me or talk to me again since i didnt have

 

time for her anymore. Later in the night she called me asking to pick up her friend and bring her

 

to the kid she liked house. i todl her no. This was the worse time i ever had with her, that night

 

i was hangin out with one of her friends and i said some stupid things even joking around about

 

most of them and he turned around and told her and she got even more mad at me. Eventually she

 

believed me i was joking and i didnt mean them and we were hanging out again. Later in the week

 

we stared to make out again as if we were going out and what not, but i found out from this other

 

kid he said he was making out with her to, so i got so disgusted cuz i wasnt sure if it was at all

 

true, so i told her i wasnt sure if i wanted to be around her anymore. But it turns out this kid

 

only did it cuz he liked her and was jealous of me cuz i was still close to her and i was her last

 

boyfriend and what not. Well i started to talk to her again and we started to hang out and what

 

not as we always did. A couple weeks later she met this dude in court and had a date with him the

 

same night, her mom didnt want her to go alone so she asked me to go with christina to meet this

 

guy and go see the movie they were going to. So i agreed, but i brought one of the friends i had

 

that she really hated, because i thought what she was doing to me was wrong, i didnt want to see

 

her with another man. So we got to the mall and she left with the dude around the mall and me and

 

my friend walked around he told me some things i needed to realize and what not. Eventually i

 

said i cant deal with this so i called her mom and told her i couldnt bring christina home because

 

i had to be home early and i couldnt take seeing her with another man, she said she understood and

 

it was no problem she would pick her up. Well i couldnt sleep or anything that night and i felt

 

so much like **** it was just bad, i couldnt take it. Well turns out a couple days of talking to

 

this dude he was jealous of me being around christina, he thought he was going out with her

 

alreayd and what not even if he met her like 4 days ago. He gave her attitude and what not so i

 

told christina he wasnt right for her and she knew it. Well a couple days later she was dating

 

this kid she orginally liked when we broke up friend who she was talking to for about 2-3 weeks i

 

guess. Now i didnt know what to do, she had a boyfriend. When i was in christina's house

 

everywhere were it used to say, i love john was now crossed out and it made me feel so much like

 

crap.. Well like 2 days later she broke up with the kid and got back with him and then 1 day after

 

that she broke up with him saying she needed more time to get to know him. Anyways the past

 

couple days she would tell me she would call me and she never does, but when i go to her house she

 

will still say she loves me and we would kiss and what not, even though i try to keep it minimal.

 

So she is playing these games with me and i see it and so does everyone else, and she has been

 

treating me like crap like tonite, we were suppose to hang out but i couldnt get the car for the

 

night so she didnt even want me to go over for a while, she was like ok bye. Then went out with

 

some guy and left me a message on my phone saying call her, so i called her house and her parents

 

were like i thought you were picking her up, and i told them no. Well i called christina's cell

 

and she was like dont tell my parents i am out with this guy, and i asked why she replied, because

 

i ****ing said so. Well you can clearly see how she is being a total bitch to me, and i was

 

always so ****ing good to her, why does she treat me like **** now. I really love her and i cant

 

take this from her anymore. I cant trust her now, i dont know what she would do behind my back if

 

we ever dated again and thats what i want is to date her again but i want trust knowning she is

 

sincere about us and not making out with other dudes or whatever. I just need to get over her and

 

its very hard for me to do because i recall all the good times ive had and i dont want those to be

 

gone, so i think the only real reason i am still hanging around her is because i want a second

 

chance and i dont want to see her go. I dont want her to date another guy or anything i want her

 

to be mine, she means so much to me and i get **** in return, i know i could get someone who will

 

love me for me and what not, but its hard for me to forget her. Anyways this is my long story and

 

i would like to know how i could deal with getting over her, every night i feel more and more

 

depressed and nothing seems to help, i will go out with my friends and try to have fun but i miss

 

being with her and even though she treats me like **** lately i still find myself seeing her at

 

her house. Thanks for taking your time reading this, please just give me some useful information.

[look forward]

three words come to mind when i read your post "move shiftly on".. this girl is bad news my friend she seems to drop and pick guys up like they are possesions not people with feelings... is she for real?

 

My advise to you would be to leave well alone no more contact or picking her up or talking to her friends, mum whatever cut all ties... this girl is a user and out for everything she can get.. and I am sorry but that giving head scenario looks like such a set up to me.. and she made out she was fine with it so stop feeling guilty anyway do you really wanna be with a girl like that? who sets you up? its cruel , you sound like a sweet guy and she took you for a ride.. but I am pleased you knew when to put your foot down even though you do have strong feelings for her..

 

I suggest you even though its hard to keep yourself busy my friend.. Join a gym, hang out with friends read a book anything just dont speak to this girl again she is nothing but a user and one day you will meet someone worthy of your love..

 

My heart goes out to i know its hard and painful feeling this loss but it will get better have faith that there is a girl out there who is honest and true and will show you the love and respect that you deserve...