Ajax Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Last night I got a message on Facebook from a girl I dated four years ago. She was the last one since my most recent ex to really break my heart. We'd worked together and she dumped me, then bounced back and forth between me and her ex boyfriend. I was a mess back then too, but have been over it for years. She said she'd watched a movie that we both saw together and had been thinking about me. She's engaged now to someone else, but wanted to make ammends for treating me the way she did. An interesting irony is that when I was with this girl she literally lived within sight of my most recent ex's townhouse. This past summer when I was with my ex we walked by the house of my old girlfriend, and I had thought to myself how four years ago I'd never have believed that the girl who (I thought) I would eventually marry was in fact right around the corner. The week after she dumped me. As for the girl I dated four years ago, since I was over her but still occasionally thought of her, I responded to her message. I accepted her appology and congratulated her on her upcoming wedding. Some might say she was just trying to ease her guilt over what happened and that I should have ignored her, but even if that is the case I'm fine with it. I put it behind me years ago, and if she needed to seek forgiveness then I wouldn't deny her that. It also made me feel good to see that even after years, they do still think about us.
DustySaltus Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I think she's definetly having second thoughts about marrying this dude, but whatever that's in the past right? Someone who is deeply committed to someone wouldn't take trips down memory lane at this point. Think of it as an ego boost, the ladies love you and things will work themselves out.
Author Ajax Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 I think she's definetly having second thoughts about marrying this dude' date=' but whatever that's in the past right? Someone who is deeply committed to someone wouldn't take trips down memory lane at this point. Think of it as an ego boost, the ladies love you and things will work themselves out.[/quote'] I don't know about that. I was clearly taking trips down memory lane when I was with my last ex but wasn't having second thoughts about being with her. This past summer when I was with my ex we walked by the house of my old girlfriend, and I had thought to myself how four years ago I'd never have believed that the girl who (I thought) I would eventually marry was in fact right around the corner.
Nkognito Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 It also made me feel good to see that even after years, they do still think about us. It does feel good doesn't it? It's good that she at least came out about how wrong she was but it's pretty interesting that she remembers that. Makes you think that out of everything a dumper does, they are not totally selfish, they remember how badly they left you.
bboy Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 As for the girl I dated four years ago, since I was over her but still occasionally thought of her, I responded to her message. I accepted her appology and congratulated her on her upcoming wedding. Some might say she was just trying to ease her guilt over what happened and that I should have ignored her, but even if that is the case I'm fine with it. I put it behind me years ago, and if she needed to seek forgiveness then I wouldn't deny her that. It also made me feel good to see that even after years, they do still think about us. You did the right thing and should be proud of yourself. Bitterness is a very poor companion in life. Good values and being a nice person in general is much better. Well done.
homebrew Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Last night I got a message on Facebook from a girl I dated four years ago. She was the last one since my most recent ex to really break my heart. We'd worked together and she dumped me, then bounced back and forth between me and her ex boyfriend. I was a mess back then too, but have been over it for years. She said she'd watched a movie that we both saw together and had been thinking about me. She's engaged now to someone else, but wanted to make ammends for treating me the way she did. An interesting irony is that when I was with this girl she literally lived within sight of my most recent ex's townhouse. This past summer when I was with my ex we walked by the house of my old girlfriend, and I had thought to myself how four years ago I'd never have believed that the girl who (I thought) I would eventually marry was in fact right around the corner. The week after she dumped me. As for the girl I dated four years ago, since I was over her but still occasionally thought of her, I responded to her message. I accepted her appology and congratulated her on her upcoming wedding. Some might say she was just trying to ease her guilt over what happened and that I should have ignored her, but even if that is the case I'm fine with it. I put it behind me years ago, and if she needed to seek forgiveness then I wouldn't deny her that. It also made me feel good to see that even after years, they do still think about us. This is an example of what will happen to most of you! His Ex contacted him and apologized... He did not expect it, demand it, ask for it, beg for it... Time and Space worked it's magic like it ALWAYS does. Notice that he was not affected in a bad way by her contacting him, he did not need or require an apology (He already forgave her), he didn't have to come on LS and ask for or need advise on what to do, he was happy that she was happy and vice versa! All and all it was a great experience for both parties and they are better for it... Now, had she been single... There is no doubt in my mind... That there would have been no reason why they could not have dated again if they both decided that is what they wanted to do. Wait around long enough... Be a good "dumpee" and this too... Will happen to you!
Gt.ooh Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 This is an example of what will happen to most of you! His Ex contacted him and apologized... He did not expect it, demand it, ask for it, beg for it... Time and Space worked it's magic like it ALWAYS does. Notice that he was not affected in a bad way by her contacting him, he did not need or require an apology (He already forgave her), he didn't have to come on LS and ask for or need advise on what to do, he was happy that she was happy and vice versa! All and all it was a great experience for both parties and they are better for it... Now, had she been single... There is no doubt in my mind... That there would have been no reason why they could not have dated again if they both decided that is what they wanted to do. Wait around long enough... Be a good "dumpee" and this too... Will happen to you! I agree. The initial waiting sucks big time, but I'm getting better each and every day now. esp since I got a new truck and a dog. I'm calling people up I haven't talked to in years or hung out with and going out whenever I get the chance now...staying positive in a downer season is key. I get harsh flashbacks as of late but they are only temperary. Cheers everyone, glad it made you feel good ajax.
bl22 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 funny that, my ex ex contacted me. Although she didnt break my heart, i wanted out of that 1. I have no desire to be friends with her or get back with her, i think she's found out I'm single again and trying her luck.
Author Ajax Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 It's a good feeling to know they still think of us. As for my most recent ex, obviously I'm not over her, but the relationship I had with her was so much closer and more meaningful than any of the others I've been in. So if a girl I dated four years ago still thinks of me and felt the need to make ammends, it's even more likely that my last ex still thinks of me too, and maybe someday will get in touch again. Until that day though, I have to keep living my life and moving forward. Hopefully when and if she does contact me, I'll be able to react in the same way.
mgene15 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 agreed, but like GT said the period in between, sucks...big time... oh well , that's life
homebrew Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Loveshack is WAY better than it use to be... Guess we finally got rid of all the bitter and negative people! There is a lot's of positive stuff going around... Thanks everyone! Let's keep it up!
ohno89 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 You did the right thing and should be proud of yourself. Bitterness is a very poor companion in life. Good values and being a nice person in general is much better. His Ex contacted him and apologized... He did not expect it, demand it, ask for it, beg for it... Time and Space worked it's magic like it ALWAYS does.I agree with both of the above - my awful ex recently - after breaking up with the girl he pretty much cheated on me with - came back around 6 months later, apologising and wanting me back in his life. I didn't expect it at ALL; I wasn't smug about it, I just accepted what he had to say and made sure he was doing okay and was civil towards him...it feels a LOT better than to be walking around still being bitter and mad at the situaton... it's so typical though that they always seem to come around when you're least expecting it and least needing or wanting it.... For anyone who's sitting there wishing their ex would do the same thing as some of the stories above..... stop waiting. Stop wishing, stop hoping and move on with your life and find a way to be happy without them. If it is supposed to come around, it'll most probably be when you're pretty much over the situation! Well done Ajax - I'm happy for you.
Gt.ooh Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Yea, I'd have to agree with homebrew too..from the time I joined, things have definitely become more positive. The advice that is given here and the new knowledge from all of us it's really building up the site...I'll make my way back into the break-up forum after the holidays... right now it's keeping the postive effect I have right now going.
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