FitChick Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Ok, I am not going to disclose my financials, but my specific question on the original post was about her, not weather I was a d.ick with my kids by not buying them presents, etc... THAT's what she heard, but not necessarily the facts... So for the record, out of MY pocket... The older one got a new laptopThe younger one got the hand me down laptop from older brother (Original laptop not from my pocket ) AND new Iphone; $ trail back to my pocket.. So yes, they recieved material gifts for x-mas from me, of course, lol Back on topic merry x-mas Now it just sounds like you are a liar and a cheapskate. What a catch!
sally4sara Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Ok, I am not going to disclose my financials, but my specific question on the original post was about her, not weather I was a d.ick with my kids by not buying them presents, etc... THAT's what she heard, but not necessarily the facts... So for the record, out of MY pocket... The older one got a new laptopThe younger one got the hand me down laptop from older brother (Original laptop not from my pocket ) AND new Iphone; $ trail back to my pocket.. So yes, they recieved material gifts for x-mas from me, of course, lol Back on topic merry x-mas Would these kids be the same ones you're thinking of saying "eff it" and moving away from because they stopped giving you good ROI for your CPL?
dispatch3d Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Just subtly avoid any place in town that she could do the hit you up for money thing. I wouldn't address it directly. Screw that, you could get in an argument (which I wouldn't do anyways).
musemaj11 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 (edited) Now it just sounds like you are a liar and a cheapskate. What a catch! Cheapskate? They are his kids not some stranger he just met for a couple months. He is supposed to give them the world even if he has nothing. If he is a cheapskate then the woman is a gold digger using your logic. However, as for the lying part, I agree that its an unnecessary lie. Telling someone that you dont buy anything for Xmas for your kids is more likely to hurt your image in the eyes of other people. Edited December 26, 2010 by musemaj11
Madgick1 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Most women do view how much money is spent on her equal to how much the guy values her.. Not true. For me it's how much time, and how responsive.
Author alexlakeman Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 That's the type of woman I try to weed out, just like the person who responded "cheapskate"!! LOL... How can you compare $ spent on my own children vs $$ on gambling (which I do NOT gamble) 2-3 days b4 christmas? Where's the logic there? Now that's a gold digger... "spend money on her b/c you spent $ on the kids?"... I specifically told her the kid / no $ gifts to put a stop on it for the night, after she asked me to get her the cigs; it's not cheap, better would've been, "hey, can you stop at the gas station, I need to buy some cigs".. I don't blend in my children with dates at the stage I am with her (they're kids) so she will not have a clue what they got for x-mas..none of her business.. I am very low key; that I value $, CPL, and ROI makes puts me in the same pile as the guy who Finds them Fks them, and Forgets them? I'm not buying them with $.. My gross income might be high, but when you get to Net Income, it's almost break even, as anyone can tell you, it allows you to pay the bills, and have some extra slush money for entertainment, that doesn't mean I am going to bank roll her gambling, lol...not even for one night, that was not the game plan...Again, i've been in that scenario with an ex g/f and she took her own spending $$ to gamble a little (neither were big gamblers).. After I posted the oriignal post, we went to a party , had a few drinks, I told her I was going to Vegas in Feb around V Day and she could join me; I would pay all expenses, but she just had to get herself there"... I was NOT very direct, not yet, but we'll see if she's going to volunteer contributing to her air fare or paying for it.. if we discuss again, and forecast shows we'll be together then, I'll tell her "start saving for your airfare" and see what her reaction is.. lol It all bombed today anyway (X-mas day) with her, lol.. I waited for her to call, she waited for me to call, finally texted bk and fourth, I called left a vm, she just texted back 3-4 hours later, so I was not a priority on her list today, lol..neither was she.. but I don't like to be the hunter all the time, nice to be pursued once in a while ... Good night, merry post christmas.
Els Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Ok, I am not going to disclose my financials, but my specific question on the original post was about her, not weather I was a d.ick with my kids by not buying them presents, etc... So why are you not responding to most of the posts that addressed the original topic?
that girl Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I specifically told her the kid / no $ gifts to put a stop on it for the night, after she asked me to get her the cigs It doesn't matter what the reason was, you're still a manipulative liar. There were dozens of non-lying ways out of buying her cigarettes. I'm guessing she has your number and knew not to take you seriously. ROI makes puts me in the same pile as the guy who Finds them Fks them, and Forgets them Return on Investment is sleazy. You're mentally setting up a situation where what you put in should be exchanged for p*ssy. It isn't exactly a shock that you attract user women, you're a user yourself.
dreamingoftigers Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Women like you are like needles in a haystack. I think women seeing themselves as valuables is partially the fault of men too. For generations women have been treated as goods and I really dont see the mentality disappearing anytime soon. I married the ultimate poor dude because he was so kind and affectionate with me. I would not have traded that for someone that makes $200,000 a year. We are renting a bilevel split and live in the basement so that we can rent out the two rooms upstairs. We don't need anymore space. We scrape. I still wouldn't trade for someone unaffectionate that makes 200K. Even with all of our other problems. (However, if anyone has a spare 200K collecting dust, please feel free to look me up, I can help you out.)
dreamingoftigers Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Are you actually worried about this woman using you for $? I am not sure why you would even care. She won't be around for very long even if she is. Your avatar alone shows what you think of women, objects for one thing. That thing gets boring if nothing else is going on emotionally. ROI will simply have to be your life's quest with various women who speak your language until you get so sick of it that something will have to change. I hope that your children's mother can teach them about proper give and take in a relationship.
Author alexlakeman Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Are you actually worried about this woman using you for $? I am not sure why you would even care. She won't be around for very long even if she is. Your avatar alone shows what you think of women, objects for one thing. That thing gets boring if nothing else is going on emotionally. ROI will simply have to be your life's quest with various women who speak your language until you get so sick of it that something will have to change. I hope that your children's mother can teach them about proper give and take in a relationship. Oh, not that she'll use me for $, lol, I am a little too old for that.. I guess after dating for several years, you get accustomed to more independent women vs someone like her who "expects" certain things although she says otherwise; go figure... I changed my avatar; there , are we happy now? LOL I have taught my children that sooner or later they will be dumped, it won't be the end of the world, be confident, and move on; plus always have a back up.... I agree, things get boring or as I say "the novelty wears away" if there is nothing going on emotionally. There are a lot factors in the chemistry and that is just one of them. All this, and the subject girl is probably a write off anyway... X-mas day - I waited to see if she would call, she finally texted in the afternoon; I called left vm...Day after x-mas - we texted a little, I called and talked briefly; I called back in the evening, left vm...no call back.Monday - she texts me, small talk via text, no call from her...Tues- texting , no call from her...Wed - no text / no call... She's too much like me, lol.. I am not picking up the phone to call, I already left her a vm on Sat and on Sun; ball's in her park... lol... oh well
dreamingoftigers Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Oh, not that she'll use me for $, lol, I am a little too old for that.. I guess after dating for several years, you get accustomed to more independent women vs someone like her who "expects" certain things although she says otherwise; go figure... I changed my avatar; there , are we happy now? LOL (the avatar is exactly the same one as when I posted. Glad to note that your avatar is not the deciding factor in my happiness. ) I have taught my children that sooner or later they will be dumped, it won't be the end of the world, be confident, and move on; plus always have a back up.... Good lesson, except about the backup part. I agree, things get boring or as I say "the novelty wears away" if there is nothing going on emotionally. There are a lot factors in the chemistry and that is just one of them. All this, and the subject girl is probably a write off anyway... X-mas day - I waited to see if she would call, she finally texted in the afternoon; I called left vm...Day after x-mas - we texted a little, I called and talked briefly; I called back in the evening, left vm...no call back.Monday - she texts me, small talk via text, no call from her...Tues- texting , no call from her...Wed - no text / no call... She's too much like me, lol.. I am not picking up the phone to call, I already left her a vm on Sat and on Sun; ball's in her park... lol... oh well Yeah, sounds like it is quits. Good luck out there.
zengirl Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 I am very low key; that I value $, CPL, and ROI makes puts me in the same pile as the guy who Finds them Fks them, and Forgets them. Yes, all of that is gross. I'm amazed if you've ever found a woman who was emotionally healthy, didn't use you for your money, and wanted to date you. More than you appear to deserve if you did. I have taught my children that sooner or later they will be dumped, it won't be the end of the world, be confident, and move on; plus always have a back up.... Oh, they're going to have healthy relationships with that idea. Yeesh. The "not the end of the world" stuff is great. The back-up idea is a lazy defense mechanism that doesn't allow you to truly connect with other people.
Sanman Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Alex, While I'm not a fan of the ROI as a concept. I do have to agree with you about money and the fact that women have a different concept of it. As I just recently broke up with a gf and did the exchange of stuff. Of course, there is contention over $400 she owes me for her half of a trip we took. She knows I don't have the cash to spare at the moment given that I am stretched to the max on my current salary with expenses and loan repayment. We agreed to split the costs and I put everything on my credit card. Yet, she expects me to not ask for the money since we have broken up. While I am a gentleman, she knew the deal going in. Besides, a lady doesn't have an active online dating profile that was last logged into when we were trying to "work things out" and she was telling me about how "committed" she as to the relationship. Just needed to went about that.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Alex, While I'm not a fan of the ROI as a concept. I do have to agree with you about money and the fact that women have a different concept of it. As I just recently broke up with a gf and did the exchange of stuff. Of course, there is contention over $400 she owes me for her half of a trip we took. She knows I don't have the cash to spare at the moment given that I am stretched to the max on my current salary with expenses and loan repayment. We agreed to split the costs and I put everything on my credit card. Yet, she expects me to not ask for the money since we have broken up. While I am a gentleman, she knew the deal going in. Besides, a lady doesn't have an active online dating profile that was last logged into when we were trying to "work things out" and she was telling me about how "committed" she as to the relationship. Just needed to went about that. I am not sure that that is women as much as it is manipulative women.
dispatch3d Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 That's the type of woman I try to weed out, just like the person who responded "cheapskate"!! LOL... How can you compare $ spent on my own children vs $$ on gambling (which I do NOT gamble) 2-3 days b4 christmas? Where's the logic there? Now that's a gold digger... "spend money on her b/c you spent $ on the kids?"... I specifically told her the kid / no $ gifts to put a stop on it for the night, after she asked me to get her the cigs; it's not cheap, better would've been, "hey, can you stop at the gas station, I need to buy some cigs".. I don't blend in my children with dates at the stage I am with her (they're kids) so she will not have a clue what they got for x-mas..none of her business.. I am very low key; that I value $, CPL, and ROI makes puts me in the same pile as the guy who Finds them Fks them, and Forgets them? I'm not buying them with $.. My gross income might be high, but when you get to Net Income, it's almost break even, as anyone can tell you, it allows you to pay the bills, and have some extra slush money for entertainment, that doesn't mean I am going to bank roll her gambling, lol...not even for one night, that was not the game plan...Again, i've been in that scenario with an ex g/f and she took her own spending $$ to gamble a little (neither were big gamblers).. After I posted the oriignal post, we went to a party , had a few drinks, I told her I was going to Vegas in Feb around V Day and she could join me; I would pay all expenses, but she just had to get herself there"... I was NOT very direct, not yet, but we'll see if she's going to volunteer contributing to her air fare or paying for it.. if we discuss again, and forecast shows we'll be together then, I'll tell her "start saving for your airfare" and see what her reaction is.. lol It all bombed today anyway (X-mas day) with her, lol.. I waited for her to call, she waited for me to call, finally texted bk and fourth, I called left a vm, she just texted back 3-4 hours later, so I was not a priority on her list today, lol..neither was she.. but I don't like to be the hunter all the time, nice to be pursued once in a while ... Good night, merry post christmas. Offering to pay all expenses to vegas. Dude, how can you complain about gold diggers when you do **** like that?
Sanman Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I am not sure that that is women as much as it is manipulative women. Well, I certainly wouldn't accuse all women of this issue. However, I don't think that the money issue was just about manipulation. There are a subset of women who want to be taken care of in a more traditional fashion by men, but they do not believe that they have to fulfill any of the traditional female roles. Now, I am more of a modern person and prefer less traditional roles, but can accommodate either. When she expects me to hook up her computer/electronics, pay for trips/dinners unless she feel like paying, fix things around her place, etc., I am willing to do that. But, if she is not willing to cook or help me in any traditional way, then why should I be expected to respond in this manner? It is picking and choosing what you want (traditional or more modern) in different aspects of a relationship to help benefit yourself at the expense of another. Don't get me wrong, it is not relegated to women. People do this all the time. We want social programs, but don't want more taxes to pay for them, We to be environmentally friendly and still drive a giant SUV. It is simply the attitude of being entitled to something for no reason that bothers me. I am of the attitude that one should be responsible for them-self and that anything done to ease my personal burden should be appreciated and paid back in kind.
Author alexlakeman Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Offering to pay all expenses to vegas. Dude, how can you complain about gold diggers when you do **** like that? You lost me.. I've never paid "all expenses" on my trips. I travel a lot, and frequently take a s/o or g/f... ALL they have to do is pay their way over there... I'll take care of the rest... I'm basically sugar coating "let's split the costs"... just saying it another way.. She pays the $500-$700 to get there, and the hotel? Well, I would pay for it anyway for myself......anyway.
Author alexlakeman Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Part 1 of 2 post (it was toooo long, lol) Cliff's notes : Woman is used for men paying for it all.. Not LTR candidate, but we got along fairly well in and out of bed, and if she would tweak certain things I didn't like (see below), it would be great... otherwise, great girl; good looking, not a large waist size, good body parts, caring, loving, blah, blah, blah... UPDATE Here's the prior thread on the subject woman... She's high 30's in age..http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t259979/ Things have been going "great", lol.. I mean no arguments and sh)t like that .. So a few days ago I had told her we should have a drink one of these days and put on the table what we don't like about each other, that we feel strongly about... I was thinking of just letting her know my feelings on her thought process on $$ and men... I said, we should do it over a glass of wine to relax and chill out, (and soften any potential argumentative outcome, I know her, lol).. So Friday night, she's at her place and I am at mines.. regular talking , b.s., etc.. And the convo leads to the above subject and I ended up giving her the few examples of $$ I haven't liked".... 1. Looking at a dress or blouse at a store (BEBE, here in the US, for you ladies), I said something like "that's xyz in the window is sexy"... HER response? "If you like it buy it for me, I'll wear it for you". So last night I told her that had been a turn off, that typically if she would tell me , for example, "babe, I like you with these types of jeans vs ...." I wouldn't turn around and say, "ok, buy them for me".. So her response to that instance, "you misinterpreted me, I didn't mean that"... ok, that's good.. 2. I mentioned the scenario of the buying her the cigarettes.. We were out on a date, heading to another club, she said she needed smokes, I stopped at the gas station, and she asked me to buy them.. I said I didn't feel I should've had to buy her the cigs, as that was her habit, and I didn't even liked her smoking... She said a few things (including mentioning how the ex bf bought her groceries, blah, blah..).... and I said for example I had gone out with someone who smoked a few months ago, same scenario, and said person just bought her own smokes, didn't expect me to buy them. That plus the example of out at the bar, we had to go through the casino and my subject gf, on the same night, asked to give her $20 USD to gamble on the slot machines.. I told her to gamble her money, I wasn't going to pay for her habits, lol.. and laughed off... Her comment to the above to things? Oh boy, that was the straw that broke the camel's back... It just snowballed over time.. lol.. She just threw out example after example about the ex bf that paid it all, that she was used to men "taking care of her"..., and how: the ex bf bought her groceries one day he was hanging out at her place.How when I hung out at her place, I took some of my nutrition bars to eat vs going to buy some groceries..How the ex bf took her on vacation , road trip and she didn't have to pay anything, she offered to pay some, and the guy said no, etc.. 3. So at that point, I rolled the convo to my Las Vegas trip in Feb. I had invited her up there and told her "you just need to pay your air fare and probably a couple of the shows , since they are so expensive, I'll take care of the rest (ie hotel, food, drinks, transportation)... HER ANSWER: Yes, I would've expected you to pay my air fare.. OMG, I don't believe, well, I guess I did, lol, she said that. I told her I've traveled frequently with other s/o's and it's never been a problem of them paying their airfare (this really set her off.. Could it get worse? LOL, yeah).. I did clarify, if we travel locally, ie weekend at the beach, or just a weekend out that I can afford, no problem, I'll take care of it. I mentioned that that was part of a relationship... once you are in it long term, wouldn't you share the costs? I mean a couple, for example, "honey let's plan next year's vacation, let's set up a vacation fund" and both contribute? I mean that is a relationship... I said that are going out was too fresh for me to be footing all the bills on a travel, EVEN if I could afford it... It just turned to sh)t from there. I told her this was why I had avoided the convo. LOL... I feel guys that pay it all / kiss ass on the $ end, are basically buying the p)ssy, paying it one way or the other..
Els Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Return on Investment is sleazy. You're mentally setting up a situation where what you put in should be exchanged for p*ssy. It isn't exactly a shock that you attract user women, you're a user yourself. Just reiterating this very good point. Especially when you select your woman based on this 'Tits and a/ss are good, but it's sometimes she has nothing between the ears ', as you stated in the previous post about her. Well, really, salt is salty, y'know. Ain't no surprise there.
Author alexlakeman Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Part 2 of 2 update part 2 CLIFF's Notes (b4 you respond without reading the post or the thread, lol)... We went our seperate ways, ... for now, at least, lol,.,... I told her "after" she pretty much sent me to h)ll, said I was cheap, was pissed b/c I made her pay for vegas air fare.. so she came fully out of the closet.. my forecast all along was right.. I reminded that we are not alll perfect, look in the mirror and figure out why she's had 2 divorces and goes through so many guys without a long terms committment... While they are not paying for the p)ssy in cash, they seem to be paying for EVERYTHING ELSE when they're with her... End of story, lol... So I was correct, right? I told to just google the scenario, I stood very strong, that I didn't need to be paying for her azz to get to vegas (that was just an example, I had already decided she wasn't going weeks ago)
dreamingoftigers Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I feel guys that pay it all / kiss ass on the $ end, are basically buying the p)ssy, paying it one way or the other.. Personally, I wouldn't put myself in a position to let myself feel beholden to the guy, if he wants to give a gift that's on him. If I want to give a gift that's on me, and yes, I give gifts too. Could it be a function of her age? If she's a little older then maybe she is used to a different standard treatment regarding money. Furthermore, if you are just buying p)ssy, maybe you should either cough up the cash, or try to find something more wholesome if it makes you uncomfortable. Find out what your actual return on investment actually is and if it is actually worth it. You may wish to trade down to some snaggle-tooth that onlly expects you to take her to McDonald's at Walmart. Let her know too because I am quite sure that another human being would like to know that your affection doesn't run so deep beyond the T&A and nothing between the ears. This has nothing to do with the fact that she may expect some financial support from you. If the situation were reversed and she was on here asking how she can use her vagina to get your cash, and how much are you expecting her to put out in order to get you to take her to Vegas, it would be equally as sickening.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Part 2 of 2 update part 2 CLIFF's Notes (b4 you respond without reading the post or the thread, lol)... We went our seperate ways, ... for now, at least, lol,.,... I told her "after" she pretty much sent me to h)ll, said I was cheap, was pissed b/c I made her pay for vegas air fare.. so she came fully out of the closet.. my forecast all along was right.. I reminded that we are not alll perfect, look in the mirror and figure out why she's had 2 divorces and goes through so many guys without a long terms committment... While they are not paying for the p)ssy in cash, they seem to be paying for EVERYTHING ELSE when they're with her... End of story, lol... So I was correct, right? I told to just google the scenario, I stood very strong, that I didn't need to be paying for her azz to get to vegas (that was just an example, I had already decided she wasn't going weeks ago) Sure you were correct, women with a BIG RED FLAG like this one will probably expect you to pay for them. Perhaps on your next go-around you can find yourself either: someone who respects you, that you respect as well and can have an open discussion about money in an actual relationship. This would be in place of not having any boundaries and letting money out like a sieve and resenting it or not letting any out at all because you wish to get your p)ssy for as cheap as possible thereby turning off someone who would actually be a giving partner. Perhaps T&A just isn't a good enough indicator of character, just like having money isn't. Too bad nature didn't give any kind of indicators of character, or did it? Perhaps ears? Usually people let you know their character pretty early on, one way or another. OR you can do the ROI calculation and not get too stuck on anything relational whatsoever. Therefore, you owe each other nothing except some mutual-disgust.
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Alex.. consider yourself lucky that this one is cut loose.. Not because that she wanted you to pay for her but because she showed no empathy toward your own financial position. I don't normally use words like this in dating and who pays for what but she seemed pretty selfish.
Author alexlakeman Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Dream, i agree, she is just used to it. She is fine physically, other than the $ dilema does have a good heart, etc...sweet, blah, blah, blah.. It got uglier, once SHE started "complaining"... ie Last June (we didn't date consistently throughout June to now, btw), I was very sick at home, and NOT one time did she ask if I needed anything, or came by to see me. Other friends came to visit, ask if I needed anything, etc... When I got well, I told her that everyone offered to come by, etc.. except her... she was like "I told you I didn't have gas, blah, blah, blah"... She obviously at the time, I remember, hinted, that I should've offered her $ for gas to come visit me, hence "pay for her visit".. So last night, she was so pis)ed that I didn't offer to put gas in her truck to come see me.. LOL... her true colors came out of the closet last night... So I told her basically you would visit me if I paid you, call it gas money, pocket money, whatever.. She was unemployed at the time, so it would've been fine if she said "hey I'd love to see you but really don't have $ for gas", and that's it .. BUT to expect me to be her gas station as well? I just put a poll up on one the other forums I am on, that have a slightly more modern forum software than here with the poll capability, and so far as of this am: GF should pay her way to Vegas - 8 votesGuy should pay her way to vegas - 2 votesAt this point, the obvious, she's a money wh)ore, dump her - 15 votes.. I love it when I am right ...
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