Charlotte5 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 basically what the title says. he's super flirty and he still said he thinks she's cute. he says that they were just friends, but i dont think exes can really be friends...i mean, maybe some, but he's so freakin flirty i just don't think he could be just friends with someone he really liked and still thinks is cute...i was out of town when this happened. she texted him saying it was her birthday and she wanted to spend it with him (ODD? YES?). so he suggested a movie (which is where he took me on our first date...and where he said he took most of his dates). they got to the theater and then she said something like "id rather just talk, can we go somewhere else?" he suggested a park he's taken dates to before. he said that they talked and talked till it was late. he twirled her around in the air and they laughed a lot does this sound like a date? does this count as cheating? :/ he basically went behind my back because, though he did tell me that he was going out with her, he just told me that they were friends he only told me "details" about this afterwards. my boyfriend is a very honest person, which is how i came to know all of this information. but i couldn't text him while he was on this "date" i had to wait for it to be over and for him to skype with me. so then there's THAT. i'm so upset about this i don't know why he'd want to go out someplace with his ex girlfriend and tell me not to text him~ does this sound pretty bad to you? would this actually be considered cheating? it was one date, and they never did it again (she lives out of town). then, i asked her about this, and i told her it really hurt my feelings that she would even think this was ok. she told me that i shouldn't be mad at her, but i think both of them did this thing, whatever it was, TOGETHER, right? i told her that (i was being really nice too!) and she yelled at me and told me to go "cry a river" and that they were just friends...she then called me a drama queen? i don't understand why she would be mad at me...don't i have the right to be confused and hurt by this all? she said it wasnt a date, but it sounds like one to me
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 To me, the boundaries are becoming blurred. While strictly speaking what happened isn't cheating, there are signs that there is still an emotional connection between them that may or may not lead to something. What's of concern is that she's starting to come between you two. It's a source of friction and that's not a good sign. Whether you trust your boyfriend or not, it does appear that she sees you as the enemy, judging by her reactions when you spoke to her. When someone in a partner's social circle is not supportive of the relationship, it can lead to trouble. Since you've already spoken to your partner about this, I suggest keeping an eye on the situation. It may escalate, it may not. But I'm not sure if there's enough there to warrant it being a dealbreaker just yet. Though that's up to you to decide.
paleblue Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Sorry Charlotte5, that is a date. they will continue to get together it sounds like. you should probably dump him before you get cheated on physically. he does not respect you. if you were important to him he would not be going out on dates with his ex gf that he is still attracted too. also her, talking to you like that.. she does not respect you either.
DuskCrush Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Go on a friendly get together with your ex-boyfriend and tell your current boyfriend not to text you during that time...AND then watch the steam come out of his ears. It's completely unacceptable and it is like a date. He is being really uncaring and callous. Please dump him. Don't do this to yourself.
daphne Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Yes. And yes. Like the last poster suggested. He wouldn't be too happy if you pulled this on him.
Template Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Actually this is why there are countless number of articles and advice in which ex's cannot and should not remain friends after the breakup. It just adds a whole slew of complications that will only help to deter any successful future relationship for both parties. Are they just friend? Maybe, maybe not. The important thing right now is how you feel, and you should let him know. Now here's the thing, it "may" come down to a "me or her" situation, and you'd be surprised how many people would choose "her" situation. Just prepping you as all. However, if HE does respect your feelings at all, he'll back off of hanging out with her, and if she respect him as a friend, wouldn't be offended if he did request. Isn't that what we want out of people we truly care about? That THEY are happy...
mo mo Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 In these situations, I don't even think you need advice. Basically, I feel that if your SO does something that makes you feel bad, whatever it is, you need to address it. Don't worry about what other people think or try to be too PC about it. Your SO has to be aware of your feelings.
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