theprince613 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Hey you guys, just before I start, I would like to thank all of you who in the future are willing to help and give advice... appreciate it! * Im very sorry if this is long, but im letting all my frustration and anger out It all started meeting my ex at work, I got to know her, we got all along good, we called, chatted, and texted each other alot. BuT, at the same time we got into ALOTT of arguing on the phone. Out of the previous girls I dated, this girl may happen to be the worst out of all in terms of keeping a steady peaceful relationship, without any arguments. But thing is, when we argue, we alwaye s tend to forgive each other, and to be quit frank, we got much closer , somtimes. We would stay HOURS AND HOURS on the phone talking, and there would rarely be a night where we actually would not pass out on the phone together. Not to be so cocky of myself, But i do feel i am a very nice and reasonable person. Yet, I feel like my ex was taking much advantage of that. We would get into problems, that would get me to raise my voice over the phone, or make her cry, and as somebody I am, I would call right after apologizing to the problems myself I do not create. Like a balloon, I kept on growing with all the tension. although I dont wanto get into what we argue about, but to be quite honest, most the time she would start it, completly over nothing, (as if it was planned). I broke up with her twice, and at the same time, I got back with her, by messaging and calling, after we cooled off for a few days. The very last time we broke up however, she first messaged me, which I find is very awkward, although her personlaity is amazing, but I really found it awkward becuase its not in her to message back to apologize. That i studied about her. and she clearly stated, that out of all she dated, i am the first that is hard to forget. So that meant alot to me. Mind you, what happend in between our 2nd break up, is what got me all fired up and very angry. I am a college student, and as we all know, college is very important to us. Unfortunately during my time in college, i wasted alot of valuable study time thinking about her and about our break up, and how i missed her soo much. And as we got back with each other the 3rd time, it was found out that she was making out with some next guy. To me the problem is not her making out with some next guy, assuming that we are not going back, but to however prove to her somthing. My proof to her was that I took things seriously, and loved and cared about her, where as on the other hand she did not feel the same. it clearly showed how serious she was in this relationship.. after our break up she blocked me on msn, clearly showing that she wants absolutely no contact with me. Recently i figured she unblocked, and do not know if that is a sign that she misses me and is maybe allowing us a chance to get back. That I am not suure of. But one thing I am sure about, is that i miss her alot, yet I dont think she deserves me. I was told many times by my friends that She is not right one one for me. Yet I feel different. My ex and I built a strong bound that is hard for me to let go as of this day. I dont know if I should go back with her or not. and If i did, I am affraid i would look weak, cause then she would automatically assume that whenever we break up, I am always the one to get back with her. Please help I am losst. i cannot stop thinking about her. I miss her, but I do not at the same time.
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 On it's own, the back and forth cycle of breaking up and getting together again is not a good sign. And this is definitely not a good thing: But one thing I am sure about, is that i miss her alot, yet I dont think she deserves me. I suggest that you go full NC (delete and block). You will need to go through the rollercoaster of emotions but that's the only way to get through this. Leave her be to get on with her life. She should be given the space to find someone who doesn't have any qualms about what she deserves.
Jeff M Stevens Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Hey you guys, just before I start, I would like to thank all of you who in the future are willing to help and give advice... appreciate it! * Im very sorry if this is long, but im letting all my frustration and anger out It all started meeting my ex at work, I got to know her, we got all along good, we called, chatted, and texted each other alot. BuT, at the same time we got into ALOTT of arguing on the phone. Out of the previous girls I dated, this girl may happen to be the worst out of all in terms of keeping a steady peaceful relationship, without any arguments. But thing is, when we argue, we alwaye s tend to forgive each other, and to be quit frank, we got much closer , somtimes. We would stay HOURS AND HOURS on the phone talking, and there would rarely be a night where we actually would not pass out on the phone together. Not to be so cocky of myself, But i do feel i am a very nice and reasonable person. Yet, I feel like my ex was taking much advantage of that. We would get into problems, that would get me to raise my voice over the phone, or make her cry, and as somebody I am, I would call right after apologizing to the problems myself I do not create. Like a balloon, I kept on growing with all the tension. although I dont wanto get into what we argue about, but to be quite honest, most the time she would start it, completly over nothing, (as if it was planned). I broke up with her twice, and at the same time, I got back with her, by messaging and calling, after we cooled off for a few days. The very last time we broke up however, she first messaged me, which I find is very awkward, although her personlaity is amazing, but I really found it awkward becuase its not in her to message back to apologize. That i studied about her. and she clearly stated, that out of all she dated, i am the first that is hard to forget. So that meant alot to me. Mind you, what happend in between our 2nd break up, is what got me all fired up and very angry. I am a college student, and as we all know, college is very important to us. Unfortunately during my time in college, i wasted alot of valuable study time thinking about her and about our break up, and how i missed her soo much. And as we got back with each other the 3rd time, it was found out that she was making out with some next guy. To me the problem is not her making out with some next guy, assuming that we are not going back, but to however prove to her somthing. My proof to her was that I took things seriously, and loved and cared about her, where as on the other hand she did not feel the same. it clearly showed how serious she was in this relationship.. after our break up she blocked me on msn, clearly showing that she wants absolutely no contact with me. Recently i figured she unblocked, and do not know if that is a sign that she misses me and is maybe allowing us a chance to get back. That I am not suure of. But one thing I am sure about, is that i miss her alot, yet I dont think she deserves me. I was told many times by my friends that She is not right one one for me. Yet I feel different. My ex and I built a strong bound that is hard for me to let go as of this day. I dont know if I should go back with her or not. and If i did, I am affraid i would look weak, cause then she would automatically assume that whenever we break up, I am always the one to get back with her. Please help I am losst. i cannot stop thinking about her. I miss her, but I do not at the same time. Simple case of you having high interest level in a girl that doesn't feel the same about you. You're a young guy in college so it might be tough to see too far in the future but believe me when I tell you that the decisions you make now with women can have long term impacts on your entire life. This girl has already in a short period of time increased your stress level and cost you valuable study time. Do you really want to end up in a marriage with someone that argues with you continually and costs you time with your career? And yes, dating has a funny way of sometimes going into marriage. Can you imagine a year with her? 5 years? 10 years? 25 years? 40 years? I think I'd rather be alone. But here's the big issue, YOU HAVE HIGH INTEREST LEVEL IN HER and she does not return the feelings. To put it simply, you're all fired up over her and she's lukewarm on you. So in addition to having a combative girl, she's got low interest level in you. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. If a girl cannot be: sweet, supportive, really into you, fun to be with, flexible, modest and kind then she's not a good long term candidate. Of course, you have to do your part if you find that kind of girl by showing her respect, affection and romance. What you have here is a woman with low interest level that's extremely hard to get along with. Maybe she's hard to get along with because she didn't get the bike she wanted when she was 10, maybe she doesn't like her dad, maybe its her low interest level in you. In any case, we don't care WHY, we only care it's happening and you DO NOT have a long term candidate with her. You need to move on and find the kind of girl you deserve. There are worse things than being alone. Good luck man
fiat500 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) College relationships are tricky and often not good. They tend to warp a person's view just because of the new stress levels you're dealing with. My ex was living away and I put in the effort to visit him and bring him picnics and he started telling me he didn't feel as close. He would only choose to contact me through facebook messenger and we ran into a lot of misunderstandings because of it. He claimed we were arguing too much and it was too stressful for him. For him, facebook misunderstandings, his choice of not wanting to talk things through face to face, brushing off my dignified offers of breaking up, and ignoring my concern over his flirting language professor on his facebook wall was way too stressful for him. So I was the bad guy to him. I really wanted to work things out. He just never communicated correctly to me. I asked if he needed space. He said he didn't know. I asked if he needed to break up with me, he said he didn't know. When I offered a break, he said NO. I was supportive of him and wanted him to be happy. I accepted the text messages he gave me and was glad he was doing well in classes. I only asked if he could call once on a weekend. But to him that was too much and he hated me for it. In your case, however, it seems like YOU genuinely tried to talk things out with this girl. You tried to make things work. You had patience and honestly gave her a shot instead of dismissing her like my ex did to me. And then you find out she was making out with a guy. I would never do the things your ex did, yet she was given a second shot by you and blew it. I think you know it's time to throw in the towel. Edited December 22, 2010 by fiat500
Author theprince613 Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 I would like to take the moment to thank you all for your response. It really does mean alot to me.
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