Room Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 In your opinion, what is the foundation of a healthy and long lasting relationship? I'd love to hear it. Thanks
Feelin Frisky Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Consistency of identity. The rules can't change from day to day or moment to moment on what flies and what dies with a SO. Believe it or not, a lot of people do have personality and identity shortfalls where moods are more than moods--they are schisms between one personality iteration and another. We can run ourselves ragged trying to do the perfect things all the time and still be judged as lacking or wrong. It's the worst thing to realize after a long time of trying and fighting to argue reason with someone only to finally discover it was hopeless from the beginning and that this person doesn't play from the sane rule book and can't. Once we get consistency down people can learn from their mistakes and make progress in relationships. But if they have schism identity issues, they can't--they will fight to deny themselves capable of the betrayal they foist upon others.
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Other than love and attraction: Empathy, communication, shared values and goals, mutual respect. Familial and social circle support also help.
threebyfate Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Two relatively emotionally healthy adults who are prepared to put everything into making their relationship not only work but remain fresh. You have to love, trust, respect and communicate with each other. Communication includes listening, understanding and also, direct expression of needs. You have to find each other physically, emotionally and intellectually stimulating.
impz Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Basic underlying values must be similar. If you are someone who believes in filial piety, it will be very hard to date someone who thinks that is an absolute piece of crap. Communication, and more importantly open communication is a must for any couple. A relationship dies when you stop communicating with the other half. Support at their lowest point, sharing their joy at their highest point. Always renew that burning flame in your heart for your other half.
zengirl Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 My relationship runs on 3 basic things: 1. Genuine affection for the other person. We enjoy each other's company, we enjoy sex together, we enjoy physical and verbal affection on the same level, and we enjoy being together and bring joy to each other through that. 2. Strong communication, treating each other with respect and GIVING without calculation -- this goes beyond respect to a place of some sacrifice. The lack of "calculation" (I gave this, so I get that) is important to me and to all the good relationships I've seen. 3. Going in the same direction. Goals, values, and ambitions that mesh or can be meshed, and a desire to mesh them.
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