fleur_de_me Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 So, I had hopes that maybe the ex and I would reconnect over the holidays since I'd be in town for two weeks. Tonight I met up with one of his friends, and what he told me completely destroyed me. The ex and I broke up when I went to grad school- he said he wasn't ready to commit and 4 years away was too long. I was devastated/heart broken but was hopeful we'd find a way. He told me maybe when I was done, we could work it out. I was the only one he'd ever felt this way about, blah blah blah. He used to joke (although I never found it funny) that if he wasn't with me would probably just enjoy the single life until he turned 40 and then get a mail order bride (he's Indian) who would cook and clean for him and take care of him in old age. When we broke up, he claimed he needed "at least" 8 more years before he would get married and he knew I didn't want to wait that long. WHat killed me today was finding out that now that we're broken up, he has decided he wants to get married, and is looking for the perfect mail order bride. I feel like I want to die. This was the most painful thing I've ever heard.
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 That sounds like it was a tremendous shock for you. For your own sanity, I think that it's best if you cut off contact. At this stage, these little bits of news are going cause you nothing but more pain and will be detrimental to your healing. Focus on you and your life. Don't focus on him and what he's doing.
Author fleur_de_me Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 Yeah- you're right. I've been pretty good about cutting off contact with him. It just sucks because some of his friends are my friends, and people who I really care about and who also make a lot of effort to keep me in their lives. I don't want to cut them out. I think it is just hard now because I'm back in town, seeing everyone, and can't help thinking that this time last year I was the happiest I'd ever been. I guess deep down part of me was hoping I'd come back and he'd be missing me and wanting to see me. Ugh- it sucks so much that someone who brought such happiness to your life can also make you so miserable.
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