kiley25 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Went on a first date with a guy about a week ago. He picked me up, paid for dinner and at the end of night gave me a kiss. I told him I had a great time and he said let's do it again soon and asked when I'd be back from my trip. I told him that I'd be back by the end of the weekend. He said great, let's hang out next week then. I texted him the next day to thank him for dinner and he said of course, and that he's glad I enjoyed it and that he hopes to see me again soon. When I got back from my trip I texted him to let him know I was back and asked what his week looked like. He told me hopefully he's not too busy, and that he'd like to get together and what night was best. I told him the nights and he said ok (not confirming the night) and that he'd call me the next day. Well today, I didn't get a call and instead got a text saying that he is really sick and in bed and that hopefully he feels better by tomorrow so that we can hang out. What do you think? Cop out? And if so, why does he keep saying he hopes to see me again soon! Ugh! Advice would be much appreciated.
amagordos Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Don't jump into conclusions, he might be telling the truth. Right now I would give him the benefit of the doubt. See what happens tomorrow because he does keep saying he wants to see you, so maybe it is true. See what happens after today. I wouldn't worry too much right now
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Agree with amagordos. Wish him a speedy recovery and that you hope to meet up when he's better. Leave the ball in his court.
Author kiley25 Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Thanks ,amargodos, january2010. Ball is in his court and we'll see how he handles the situation today. Can't help but think the worst because of my previous dating experiences. Love your quote january!
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 ^^^ No need to think the worst just yet. Though I can't claim authorship, the quote is one of many that I find helps to get me though the moments of sadness. I'm glad you like it.
Author kiley25 Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 Wow. I should trust my gut instinct more because it's well trained. No contact from him at all today even though he said that he had hoped he would get better so he could hang out with me today. Really with the BS lines? I can't believe that he would be so sick that he couldn't shoot a text. By far, one of the rudest cop outs. Didn't see that one coming because he was so polished and well mannered.
creighton0123 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 What do you think? Cop out? And if so, why does he keep saying he hopes to see me again soon! Ugh! Advice would be much appreciated. Pass the buck to him. Believe him when he says he's not feeling well - this is the time of year for flu/colds. Tell him to get himself better and that you look forward to his CALL when he wants to get dinner. If he doesn't call back after a week, move on.
Author kiley25 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 I wrote back to his text message and simply said feel better. He didn't contact me the next day like I assumed he would considering he said that he hoped that he would feel better so we could hang out. It's been 4 days now. Should I just write it off that he's not interested? Or do you think there's a chance that he'll contact me after the holidays? I went on a first date with another guy a few days before him and this guy didn't contact me until 6 days later because he was so busy with traveling and the holidays. This guy has shown clear interest and has called me twice even though he's traveling. I'm hanging on to hope with the other guy though because I think he's a great catch. What do you think? Merry Christmas all
tigressA Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 It's been 4 days now. Should I just write it off that he's not interested? Or do you think there's a chance that he'll contact me after the holidays? I went on a first date with another guy a few days before him and this guy didn't contact me until 6 days later because he was so busy with traveling and the holidays. This guy has shown clear interest and has called me twice even though he's traveling. I'm hanging on to hope with the other guy though because I think he's a great catch. What do you think? Merry Christmas all He's NOT interested. Period. Forget about him and focus on the other guy who IS interested--that is, if you're interested back. I'm wondering if you are since you're thinking about hanging onto the guy who has no interest.
nice-easy-day Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 It's been 4 days now. Should I just write it off that he's not interested? Or do you think there's a chance that he'll contact me after the holidays? No, I don't think you should write him off. Just be patient. Don't send out any more text messages either. I think you did just the right amount of showing interest and following through on your end. You played it perfect IMO and now it's up to him. Hope it works out for you.
USMCHokie Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Really with the BS lines? I can't believe that he would be so sick that he couldn't shoot a text. By far, one of the rudest cop outs. Didn't see that one coming because he was so polished and well mannered. LAUNCH. A person who is the least bit interested will at least take the minimal effort to send a text...and I'm not even the biggest fan of texting during the early stages of dating...especially after four days...one of which was f'in Christmas...
january2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 A "Merry Christmas" text would have been common courtesy. So, unless he was so ill that he slept through it, I agree that it's time to let him go. I'm sorry that it's not working out as you'd hoped.
nice-easy-day Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 USMCHokie said to launch but I see you as having done that already because I know you're going to do the right thing and not contact him anymore. I think a more appropriate question is: what are you going to do if he contacts you in week? Will you go out with him again or tell him you're not interested? Is it acceptable to you that it took him so long to get back to you? I think you need to get prepared now for what you want to do. Try to make decisions with your head and not on impulse or feelings. Curious, what do you plan to do if he contacts you?
Author kiley25 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 Agree. He's not interested, which means he used the sick excuse as his cop out. It's a disappointment that he couldn't have been more honest with me. He didn't have to say he wanted to see me again soon or that he'd call me. I could have taken a hint if he said "had a great time" and left it at that.
USMCHokie Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 I think a more appropriate question is: what are you going to do if he contacts you in week? Will you go out with him again or tell him you're not interested? Is it acceptable to you that it took him so long to get back to you? I think you need to get prepared now for what you want to do. Try to make decisions with your head and not on impulse or feelings. Curious, what do you plan to do if he contacts you? I was in a very similar situation as OP with a girl that I had been on a couple of real dates and a handful of gym workout dates with a few weeks ago. She just dropped off the face of the planet and simply stopped corresponding with me right out of the blue. There is absolutely no need for OP to concern herself with this guy, because frankly, he ain't ever gonna call...and if he does, it's because his other preferred option(s) didn't work out and he's looking to put the second/third string options into the game...so if OP is ok playing that role, then go out with him again...but if not, then perma-LAUNCH...
Author kiley25 Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 USMCHokie said to launch but I see you as having done that already because I know you're going to do the right thing and not contact him anymore. I think a more appropriate question is: what are you going to do if he contacts you in week? Will you go out with him again or tell him you're not interested? Is it acceptable to you that it took him so long to get back to you? I think you need to get prepared now for what you want to do. Try to make decisions with your head and not on impulse or feelings. Curious, what do you plan to do if he contacts you? Definitely not contacting him. Thanks for pointing this out. Great question. If he contacts me in a week, I'd call him out on disappearing, see what he has to say in return, and base my decision on his reason. Since it was just a first date, I'd give it more leeway.
Author kiley25 Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Update: He did actually send a Merry Christmas text that night. Simple and short and I wished him a Merry Christmas back. No engagement beyond that. It sure feels like I'm the second/third string option. I'm dating other guys as well so I'm not holding my breath plus his lack of contact is making me lose interest. We're both away for NYE so we'll see what his move is after the New Year.
january2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 It'd be interesting to see if he contacts you after NYE.
krz12 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I figure I might as well chime in and ask here. So I've been corresponding with this girl online a bit. Have not met her yet. She responded to messages within a few hours. In any case, on the 23rd, I wished her a Merry Christmas and asked her out for either the 29th or 30th. She responded with a 'I might be busy with family but I will give you a definite answer next week'. Obviously, now, its basically next week. I've dropped contact on my end. I might add that she's been on the site a bit and modified the profile. I'm wondering why she responded at all. My guess is this is what a woman does to 2nd string someone? At least that's what the overhead view is telling me.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I figure I might as well chime in and ask here. So I've been corresponding with this girl online a bit. Have not met her yet. She responded to messages within a few hours. In any case, on the 23rd, I wished her a Merry Christmas and asked her out for either the 29th or 30th. She responded with a 'I might be busy with family but I will give you a definite answer next week'. Obviously, now, its basically next week. I've dropped contact on my end. I might add that she's been on the site a bit and modified the profile. I'm wondering why she responded at all. My guess is this is what a woman does to 2nd string someone? At least that's what the overhead view is telling me. No, its what a woman does to blow you off. Words like "busy" and "ill see if I can contact you next week" is a blowoff.
krz12 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 No, its what a woman does to blow you off. Words like "busy" and "ill see if I can contact you next week" is a blowoff. Thanks. I figured that was option 2, but the easier way to blow someone off is not to say anything at all.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Thanks. I figured that was option 2, but the easier way to blow someone off is not to say anything at all. nah, women give themselves guilt trips when they ignore you sometimes. So to give you a hint instead of telling you straight up that you dont interest them anymore, they say maybe they'll call ya. Anytime its ambiguous, it aint hap'nin.
ecm Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Thanks ,amargodos, january2010. Ball is in his court and we'll see how he handles the situation today. Can't help but think the worst because of my previous dating experiences. Love your quote january! Love your quote, too, January! Literally got teary eyed. Jeesh. Good luck with this guy. I 've been reading this same CRAPPY story all over this site tonight. It sucks. Cowards suck. January's quote hopefully explains why we must meet these JACKHOLES.
january2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Sorry you got teary-eyed Yes, unfortunately we must meet the bad ones so that we know when we get a good one.
Author kiley25 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 It'd be interesting to see if he contacts you after NYE. So he contacted today and told me he just got back into town and that he hoped I had a great holiday and lets get together soon. I leave tomorrow to go out of town so I told him maybe next week when I get back. He said yes, let's do that and wished me a nice trip. When I do hang out with him, do I bring up how he disappeared for awhile? Maybe as a casual joke.. Or do I let him off the hook since the holidays are a weird dating time + we've only gone out once?
Recommended Posts