BlackZeppelin Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Full Summary: I dated my ex for 6 months, we've done almost everything together. I was her first real bf and her first love. I've gained the approval of all of her friends, family, and extremely strict mom who surprisingly liked me a lot. I'm 17 now and she's 15. We have a 2year2month age difference and we lost our virginity together when I was 16 and she was 14. We were a perfect match until our 6th month anniversary where I decided we needed to take a break. We ended our break 3 weeks later not finding anyone else and realizing we were supposedly meant for each other. She couldn't stop talking about how much she missed me. About a week of being back together she gave off a strong vibe of evasion. By not answering texts or calling back to an unreasonable extent. So when night I asked her if she stilled loved me, and she said of course, "more than the ****ing world". And after that night she stopped talking to me for over a week(longest we've ever gone). Turns out she had a new bf who confessed after I confronted him. They've been dating about a week. Seeing as she never broke up with me, I considered it cheating. After I talk to her mom about everything, her mom becomes outraged and grounds her from everything. Next morning she sends a long-ass message of her apologizing and how she's a mess, and didn't mean for any of it, and that she would do anything to make it up. I didn't buy it, but I still loved her at that time. So we talked about it for a bit and she said she was completely done with the other guy. To sum the rest up, she got with the other guy (whom is a giant downgrade) and practically told me to **** off. Sorry for the long background, but I want to know. What the hell went wrong? What is she thinking? Will she ever be tormented with memories of our old relationship like I am? Can someone really get over their first love/time that fast?
LoveBug1989 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I'm sorry for your pain hun. You are both extremely young. She, especially; 14 is a young age to lose your virginity, and at that age, your brain is not fully developed enough, mentally, to really understand the consequences of your actions, much less understand what crazy feelings you are going thru at the time, due to strong hormonal highs and lows (which can and will last from 14-15). When you are in a relationship, both of you have to be willing to make it work, and it requires a lot of work. To be honest, young people your age rarely have the will, time or desire to put this work into a relationship. To answer your questions: What went wrong? She's 15. Her hormones, mood and feelings are going to be all over the place. She has not yet discovered what love really is or what love requires to maintain. What was she thinking? It's hard to tell. Teenagers tend to get bored quickly. Maybe she wanted something different in the relationship and didn't want, or didn't feel like she should tell you. Like I said, her emotions are hormones are not going to be at normal levels right now. I don't know if she will look back sadly on memories with you. Obviously you wanted to be more serious about the relationship than she did. Perhaps her heart was not in it as far as yours. I'm learning to get over my first love right now. It's extremely painful. But yes, people say it is possible. Hope this helps....sorry again, good luck
Author BlackZeppelin Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Thanks a lot. It's hard to understand a girl's actions/intentions from my POV (being a guy and all) but perhaps you're right with her heart and everything. My bro didn't want to trust her from the beginning and I should've listened. But she wasn't always like that, it had to have been the break
Am4Real Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Full Summary: I dated my ex for 6 months, we've done almost everything together. I was her first real bf and her first love. I've gained the approval of all of her friends, family, and extremely strict mom who surprisingly liked me a lot. I'm 17 now and she's 15. We have a 2year2month age difference and we lost our virginity together when I was 16 and she was 14. We were a perfect match until our 6th month anniversary where I decided we needed to take a break. We ended our break 3 weeks later not finding anyone else and realizing we were supposedly meant for each other. She couldn't stop talking about how much she missed me. About a week of being back together she gave off a strong vibe of evasion. By not answering texts or calling back to an unreasonable extent. So when night I asked her if she stilled loved me, and she said of course, "more than the ****ing world". And after that night she stopped talking to me for over a week(longest we've ever gone). Turns out she had a new bf who confessed after I confronted him. They've been dating about a week. Seeing as she never broke up with me, I considered it cheating. After I talk to her mom about everything, her mom becomes outraged and grounds her from everything. Next morning she sends a long-ass message of her apologizing and how she's a mess, and didn't mean for any of it, and that she would do anything to make it up. I didn't buy it, but I still loved her at that time. So we talked about it for a bit and she said she was completely done with the other guy. To sum the rest up, she got with the other guy (whom is a giant downgrade) and practically told me to **** off. Sorry for the long background, but I want to know. What the hell went wrong? What is she thinking? Will she ever be tormented with memories of our old relationship like I am? Can someone really get over their first love/time that fast? Sorry, can’t comment on incidents regarding statutory rape. It’s illegal throughout the United States of America.
Author BlackZeppelin Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Sorry, can’t comment on incidents regarding statutory rape. It’s illegal throughout the United States of America. 1. I'm not 18 yet(legal age of consent) 2. Her mom knows we were sexually active 3. No longer occuring
Am4Real Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 1. I'm not 18 yet(legal age of consent) 2. Her mom knows we were sexually active 3. No longer occuring Sorry, can’t comment on incidents regarding statutory rape. It’s illegal throughout the United States of America.
LoveBug1989 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 That's actually a good point. If both parties are under the age of consent (18), even if they are willing, you could be charged with statutory rape. That's a big reason to cease all contact with her. If you piss her off enough, she may tell someone who may care enough to tell the cops. Then you would be in serious trouble.
Author BlackZeppelin Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 The guy she went to is older than me...
LoveBug1989 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 unfortunately that doesn't matter...what does matter is that you were 16 (underage) and she was 14 (underage) when you had sex, which can be considered to be statutory rape. Be careful.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I think most kids watch enough TV and get enough info from each other to know by 14-16 what being cheated on means. Hormones is an easy dismissal IMO, no offense. This guy feels all the pain of any human being that just felt the sting of betrayal. And his g/f knows at least some of what that means from adolescent kid kulture. We can't say what she's thinking, what she was thinking or why it should matter if she was looking for someone else or just acquiesced to someone she didn't want to dissuade. This will always be just what it is now--a betrayal. It may be a juvenile one and there will hopefully be a lot of better experience to diminish its sting. But it's a sting for which there are no words. Time will only heal this wound. To BlackZep, I hope this doesn't hurt your perception of other encounters with women because this doesn't always happen. And it surely is wrong to do it yourself on another women some day in retribution for this hurt now with her. You might consider that she blew your trust and just not resume with her. It might be the best thing--for you to feel the right of picking yourself up and soldiering on and for her to really get it that there are consequences for betrayal. Try to be the best young man you can and be worthy of someone with better character. Good luck.
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