Author OceanGirl Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 I've seen a few videos of Nick Vujicic. He's great - really big personality. Years ago, I knew this girl who only had one arm. She competed in a sport that I competed in - and even though it was one where you generally would need two arms, she was really successful. Watching that video reminded me of one of her tricks. She'd put her stump in her mouth, walk into a shop and make panicked faces at the staff. To be fair, I think people like that are exceptions - which is why we remember them, or watch youtube videos of them. For a lot of other people with disabilities, life is going to be a big struggle with a lot of tears and frustrations. Which I'm sure Nick Vujicic has probably gone through too. It's the less palatable side. Nobody wants to see a limbless person sitting on a table talking about how sh*tty their life is....so Nick Vujicic serves a purpose in giving people a feel good buzz. "See - it doesn't need to be that bad." Except that sometimes it is going to be that bad, and sometimes there's no cure other than to accept that you're going through a crappy phase and resolve to get the strength to see the bad time through until life is on the up again. +100000 - great post.
TaraMaiden Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Sure, but those people are exceptions. Maybe I'm lucky... I know quite a few disabled people and I haven't met one yet, that's self-pitying or sorry for themselves. I don't think they're the exceptions at all. I just don't think able-bodied people realise just how lucky they are.... Incidentally, those people would appear much happier than you as well. At times, I have no doubt at all that this is absolutely true. But if I'm down, I talk myself out of it. If I'm down, it's me who's me there.... I've seen a few videos of Nick Vujicic. He's great - really big personality. Years ago, I knew this girl who only had one arm. She competed in a sport that I competed in - and even though it was one where you generally would need two arms, she was really successful. Watching that video reminded me of one of her tricks. She'd put her stump in her mouth, walk into a shop and make panicked faces at the staff. To be fair, I think people like that are exceptions - which is why we remember them, or watch youtube videos of them. For a lot of other people with disabilities, life is going to be a big struggle with a lot of tears and frustrations. Which I'm sure Nick Vujicic has probably gone through too. It's the less palatable side. Nobody wants to see a limbless person sitting on a table talking about how sh*tty their life is....so Nick Vujicic serves a purpose in giving people a feel good buzz. "See - it doesn't need to be that bad." Except that sometimes it is going to be that bad, and sometimes there's no cure other than to accept that you're going through a crappy phase and resolve to get the strength to see the bad time through until life is on the up again. That's the point. Acceptance, and choice. It's all a matter of choice....
youngskywalker Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Depends how many beers I have in me. I had a girl that I fell in love with the last couple months. She never gave me the chance but I think I'm the one who F-ed it up. Am I supposed to feel happy about that? I'd give myself a 3. If I honestly hit 1 then it's time to blow em' out. Good news is, I have another girl going right now. Not sure how it's going to turn out but I'll let you know.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 lotta high numbers; several low ones; even a few 5's in the mix. interesting how each have at least one thing in common: there exist thousands of individuals that've been diagnosed terminal, as you read this very post... not to mention the thousands more 3rd world residents that've been hopelessly ill longer than some of us have been alive. those of you who responded to OG's thread with a 4 or lower, think these people would trade you? I know I would if I were them. as cliche as it sounds, life is what you make it; and guess what, "mortality" means you're terminal; and sooner or later, you, me, our furry little friends, & everything else that isn't immortal owes a death. whoever said "death & taxes are the only guaranteed thing in this world" wasn't joking. so you're down to a 3, and not only is it consistent, it sucks ass. be that as it may Mr/Mrs. 3, your clock's ticking here too; & who knows, yours may be ticking faster than our own, but perhaps not... in either event, something needs to change; or perhaps, if you've tried to "change" yourself and failed, might I suggest giving up on self help & focus on being a source of good will for others to benefit from your existence. sometimes there's no therapy quite like philanthropy. If necessity truly is the mother of invention, than I submit (to the consistent 4's or below, in good health) that you may not be convinced a consistent 9+ is necessary. it is -- that is, if you're not into wasting precious time needlessly. break free & live while you have the time. not sure what'll come next? embrace that; run with it... discover what you want & be willing to sacrifice everything within your comfort zone to obtain it. sometimes not giving a damn and jumping is necessary. walk a mile in shoes like those and watch that 3-4 skyrocket. or don't... either way, you're still going to die.
Kamille Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Happy people should stay out of my thread Hopefully no one will notice I was here then . Will spare you all my list of happy events. OG, I had a disagreement with my thesis supervisor a few years ago, and yes, I was miserable during that time. Problems at work can eat up a lot mental energy. I can't imagine combining that with illness in the family ((OG)). SG, I'm happy you're okay after that accident! ((SG))
Star Gazer Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 lotta high numbers; several low ones; even a few 5's in the mix. interesting how each have at least one thing in common: there exist thousands of individuals that've been diagnosed terminal, as you read this very post... not to mention the thousands more 3rd world residents that've been hopelessly ill longer than some of us have been alive. those of you who responded to OG's thread with a 4 or lower, think these people would trade you? I know I would if I were them. as cliche as it sounds, life is what you make it; and guess what, "mortality" means you're terminal; and sooner or later, you, me, our furry little friends, & everything else that isn't immortal owes a death. whoever said "death & taxes are the only guaranteed thing in this world" wasn't joking. so you're down to a 3, and not only is it consistent, it sucks ass. be that as it may Mr/Mrs. 3, your clock's ticking here too; & who knows, yours may be ticking faster than our own, but perhaps not... in either event, something needs to change; or perhaps, if you've tried to "change" yourself and failed, might I suggest giving up on self help & focus on being a source of good will for others to benefit from your existence. sometimes there's no therapy quite like philanthropy. If necessity truly is the mother of invention, than I submit (to the consistent 4's or below, in good health) that you may not be convinced a consistent 9+ is necessary. it is -- that is, if you're not into wasting precious time needlessly. break free & live while you have the time. not sure what'll come next? embrace that; run with it... discover what you want & be willing to sacrifice everything within your comfort zone to obtain it. sometimes not giving a damn and jumping is necessary. walk a mile in shoes like those and watch that 3-4 skyrocket. or don't... either way, you're still going to die. Great post. I suspect Rudderless and Surrealist will have some interesting comments for you.
zengirl Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 I'm sorry you're not as happy as you want to be, OceanGirl. Hope you find your way there soon. Yeah of course they are, I guess you're the sort that goes up to someone with no legs and tells them to stop being silly and that they're in control of their own ability to walk just because you are! I read a lot of 'happiness science'. Studies on the neurological background for happiness, the sociology of happiness, etc. Generally, social scientists have determined that human beings are responsible for about 40% of their own happiness, life circumstances about 20%, and natural chemical/biological/cultural make-up is cemented around 40%, which is pretty difficult or impossible to change. But that's 4 points that are within your power. So, if you started at 1, maybe getting halfway there takes all your energy, and you're bummed because you can only ever stay a 5, a 7 when life is going good too, but isn't it better than staying a 1 and saying, "I can't do anything about it!" -- isn't it worth it to take it into your power? I don't blame unhappy people for their unhappiness, but I do agree that we can always choose to be happier or more unhappy. We may not have the choice of bliss, or joy, or even happiness. Sometimes, we may not even be able to get to okay, but we are making choices. And we can always choose the better choice. Plenty of times people don't, and that's where the idea of power -- of it being within your own hands -- is useful. Then again: So is acceptance. Some days, I feel crappy. Some days, the chemicals in my brain misfire, my life is a mess, and I just feel crappy and angry and unhappy. Now, I've learned to both accept it and seek to change it. I don't argue with it: I'm unhappy. How can I be happier? The "er" is important because, maybe I can't be happy. Not right then. Okay. But I've rarely found a situation where I couldn't be happier when I tried, unless I was already over the moon! At any rate, my point is: No, those people can't get 40% of their legs back. But there is a good portion of your happiness -- not all of it, maybe not even 40% exactly, but SOME of it -- that definitely depends on you. It's not the same as telling the legless to walk.
Stung Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I struggled with clinical depression for years in my 20s, did drugs and therapy, came out the victor but still feel it's chemical pull from time to time. It's something I'm always aware of, anyway. Even the winter season's long nights and overcast days can pull me down, if I'm not vigilant. I use natural spectrum lightbulbs. It made me a bit afraid to have children, honestly, but I find that the constancy of needing to care for others is actually helpful, centering. Needing to always be strong for others can be wearying, but it keeps me from folding in on myself. I learned cognitive techniques, too. Positive thinking isn't just for Pollyannas, it can help you shed demons of negativity, emerge from the shadows. I never counted on a mate for happiness, as I have been both woefully depressed with a partner and thrilled to be alive when I was single. My marriage is overall quite happy and a source of emotional support and sexual satisfaction; it definitely contributes to my happiness and overall high level of contentment. I'd say I'm content, more so now than I've ever been in memory, but still with unrealized goals I look towards and frustrations that make me a little batty at times. Fluctuating happiness peaks and valleys, due to various stressors and excitations. Compared to how I felt in the depths of depression, I'm a ten nearly every day; more often I'd think of myself as being at an average of 7. It's so subjective, I'm not sure it makes much sense to question anyone else's perspective on their own happiness.
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