On the scale 1-10 how happy are you?

[Star Gazer]

If there's nothing worse than this encounter in your life then you've certainly have very little to be unhappy about. You don't know nothing bad has ever happened or is currently happening to these people. Truth is, not all unhappy people project their misery on other.

 

Au contraire, on all points.

 

I was actually flipping OG's "There's nothing worse than..." post. She said: "There is actually nothing worse than people that pretend that they are happy when I can sense that they aren't."

 

She started the thread by discussing what has happened and what is currently happening in her life. She then projected her unhappiness on others with the quotation cited above.

 

She is none of the things SB listed. Thus, I'm hard pressed to understand why she values her happiness as a 2. Clearly, things could be far worse. And just because she values her happiness as a 2, does not mean that even those who are worse off than she is can't feel they are happier than a 2.

 

*shrug*

[Rudderless]

She is none of the things SB listed. Thus, I'm hard pressed to understand why she values her happiness as a 2.

 

It's explained in this article.

 

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/63/11/1209

[Ariadne]

It's explained in this article.

 

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/63/11/1209

 

That is the effect not the cause.

 

Yes, if you are all depressed then your brain may be lacking "happiness" or whatever is released when you are happy.

[Star Gazer]

It's explained in this article.

 

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/63/11/1209

 

I'm not going to diagnose her, are you?

 

Is there an article to explain why she assumes others here aren't genuinely happy?

[Rudderless]

I'm not going to diagnose her, are you?

 

Is there an article to explain why she assumes others here aren't genuinely happy?

 

Not only have you diagnosed her without depression, you've invalidated her feelings of unhappiness, since your own limited information hasn't shown that she has had a major incident in her life that could have caused it.

 

Quoting surrealist

 

Your post is filled with meaningless assumption and judgementalisms

 

There may not be an article to explain it but when people like you come along claiming your happy and at the same time being so genuinely mean to others you have to wonder whether you're just full of bs

[Star Gazer]

Not only have you diagnosed her without depression, you've invalidated her feelings of unhappiness, since your own limited information hasn't shown that she has had a major incident in her life that could have caused it.

 

Huh? I haven't diagnosed her with or without anything. I am not a shrink, I do not purport to know anything about OG's mental state other than what outwardly appears to be a demonstrated need for drama in her life. Have you read her plentiful threads? Did you read OG's OP where she explains WHY she's a 2? I'm using her own words. Not making any assumptions beyond that.

 

Quoting surrealist

 

Like you, he has no basis for attacking my position in this thread. You're just mad because I'm sincerely happy with my furry friends and fellow animal lovers. *shrug* No worries man, you can't bring me down either.

[Rudderless]

Huh? I haven't diagnosed her with or without anything. I am not a shrink, I do not purport to know anything about OG's mental state other than what outwardly appears to be a demonstrated need for drama in her life. Have you read her plentiful threads? Did you read OG's OP where she explains WHY she's a 2? I'm using her own words. Not making any assumptions beyond that.

 

Sounds like a diagnosis

Like you, he has no basis for attacking my position in this thread. You're just mad because I'm sincerely happy with my furry friends and fellow animal lovers. *shrug* No worries man, you can't bring me down either.

I'm also happy with my 2 year old border collie and the Vet I''ll be marrying next year, though I don't know who's harder work. Either way, since I'm happy I have no need to kick others when they're down, nor the need to feel aggrieved about them "projecting their unhappiness" onto me. I have no idea why that sort of thing would get to anyone. Empathy for those who are less fortunate than me goes very naturally with my contented state, and is why I'm calling bs on you.

[Surrealist]

 

 

Like you, he has no basis for attacking my position in this thread. You're just mad because I'm sincerely happy with my furry friends and fellow animal lovers. *shrug* No worries man, you can't bring me down either.

 

I understand your response to my post as you explained at post #76, but I was not attacking your position in this thread but I challenged your assumptions and judgemental comments. Can you not handle the same level of challenge that you challenge others? If you really cannot handle the heat you shouldn't be in the kitchen.

 

Now as a professing happy person that you claim to be Star Gazer, how about you grit and clench your teeth, and stike a dazzling smile for us.

 

On this thread unless I am mistaken, none of the people who are ranking themselves below 5 are any of the following

 

homeless

sick/ injured

bereaved

destitute

abused

tortured

starved

fighting in a war

imprisoned

parents of children who are any of the above

 

Get a grip people.

 

I am not happy "all of the time", however I am content. Its enough. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else.

 

I am also clearheaded enough to realise that striving for "perfect happiness" is a recipe for disaster, and that counting ones blessings (the ones you have right now, not the ones you think you deserve or want in the future) is the only way to get enough perspective to achieve regular happiness/ contentment.

 

One, perhaps, major flaw of the premise of this thread is that ranking on a scale of 1 to 10 is arbitrary. For example, someone may rank themselves below 5 if they just happen to be feeling down on the day or have some problems at hand or some kind of issue, as temporary as it may be, or otherwise. There is nothing inherently wrong with ranking one's happiness below 5 or above 5 or anywhere else on the spectrum. People suffering depression are encouraged to seek out help and disclose information to their practitioner that similarly rank their wellbeing or happiness below a 5 point. We see numerous suicides today by people often who do not exhibit unhappiness or depression, and tragically commit the act much to the shock of those who know such people not realising they even had any problems.

 

So SB, if you really have a problem with people ranking their happiness below 5, perhaps you should take a self-audit of your own so called happiness should you feel the need to judge people who rank their level of happiness at a point that doesn't stack up against your criteria.

[Star Gazer]

I challenged your assumptions and judgemental comments. Can you not handle the same level of challenge that you challenge others? If you really cannot handle the heat you shouldn't be in the kitchen.

 

Who says I can't? I think I'm presenting my views fairly rationally. I'm a master chef - I can handle the fire.

 

Why are you challenging just MY "judgmental comments"? Why not OG's own judgmental comments about happy people? Hmm. Something to think about. But I'm pretty sure I know why.

 

...perhaps you should take a self-audit of your own so called happiness should you feel the need to judge people who rank their level of happiness at a point that doesn't stack up against your criteria.

 

Do you find it odd that the unhappy people are lashing out like this at the happy people? Or do you think there's a correlation?

 

You're in control of your own happiness, S. I hope you find some someday.

[Star Gazer]

Sounds like a diagnosis

 

"Drama" is a diagnosis? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. I learn something new everyday.

 

Either way, since I'm happy I have no need to kick others when they're down, nor the need to feel aggrieved about them "projecting their unhappiness" onto me. I have no idea why that sort of thing would get to anyone. Empathy for those who are less fortunate than me goes very naturally with my contented state, and is why I'm calling bs on you.

 

I sense that you, like OG and Surrealist, are trying to suggest that I'm not actually happy simply because I pointed out how someone was projecting their unhappiness on others, or deciding for herself that certain others aren't really happy. I'm sorry you feel that way, but you couldn't be more wrong. And I don't feel aggrieved at all. I just think it's sad that people project their unhappiness like as demonstrated by her post. She's in control of her happiness. We all are.

[Rudderless]

"Drama" is a diagnosis? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. I learn something new everyday.

On it's own no, when coupled with some diatribe on nothing being that bad for her you're definitely making your own diagnosis.

 

I'm guessing you've never had to look after a family member that's depressed. I had to look after my father when he was in that state, sometimes it can be certain things that have happened many moons ago that underlies someone's personality, sometimes they can have blocked them out and not even be aware of it. So to sit on an internet forum and judge someone on their unhappiness is particularly pathetic.

 

I sense that you, like OG and Surrealist, are trying to suggest that I'm not actually happy simply because I pointed out how someone was projecting their unhappiness on others, or deciding for herself that certain others aren't really happy. I'm sorry you feel that way, but you couldn't be more wrong. And I don't feel aggrieved at all. I just think it's sad that people project their unhappiness like as demonstrated by her post. She's in control of her happiness. We all are.

 

Yeah alright SG, bla bla bla

[Hi.P.O'Crit]

I just think it's sad that people project their unhappiness like as demonstrated by her post. She's in control of her happiness. We all are.

 

Are you sure? If it is, as someone else suggested, a chemical imbalance. Or have you diagnosed her?

[Surrealist]

Who says I can't? I think I'm presenting my views fairly rationally. I'm a master chef - I can handle the fire.

 

Your views ie: assumptions and judgments, are not fairly rational at all. They are assumptions and judgments that are meaningless and do little to build or otherwise encourage someone to be more happy. But I would not expect this from you having read many of your posts that more often than not, pull people down or kick people while they are down. You are well within your right to believe otherwise, but the numbers of people on this forum that I see who argue with you is very compelling that your posts contain much more inflammatory and insulting content than what you possible perceive.

 

Why are you challenging just MY "judgmental comments"? Why not OG's own judgmental comments about happy people? Hmm. Something to think about. But I'm pretty sure I know why.

 

I don't have any reason to challenge OG's comments, sorry if that bothers you so much so that you have to bring that up.

 

Do you find it odd that the unhappy people are lashing out like this at the happy people? Or do you think there's a correlation?

 

No I don't and I don't think people who are unhappy are lashing out any more or less than you are. But anyway, I do find it odd that so called professing happy people are posting judgemental mean-spiritied posts toward those who are unhappy, contradiction much.

[quankanne]

if you'd asked this question three weeks ago, I'd have said a 9.5 and upward. Since then, I've been laid off, the immediate future is not sure, husband's freaking out at the thought of taking on my bills, and I'm grieving the loss of a job that I really, really love.

 

but you know what? Aside from yesterday's anxiety attack, I can honestly say I'm at about an 8 right now. Because I realize that as much as I loved working here, it was the only thing keeping me up here; I can go home now. I can finally go back to where my heart's been all this time. And suddenly, I can breathe more easily

 

look out JustJoe ... I might be hollering at you to meet up at Busseys for a day of pulga!!!!

[9Lives]

I'm on level 7!

I don't have a man and I'm cool with it. peace is great! my emotions aren't being pulled at. I have great friends and family. my life is coming together. I llok great and its all good! I hae my moments but I love being free feom the relationship drama

[sumdude]

Happiness is hard to measure and entirely relative. I really find it odd and sad that some folks are comparing their levels of happiness and thinking someone is wrong for feeling as they do be it 'happier' or 'sadder'. General thinking on happiness and depression is that it's 50% genetic.

 

OG I'm sorry to hear that your parents are ill. Are you directly involved in care taking for them? Either way I can understand the stress and wear it puts on physically and emotionally when your parents are quite ill. One thing I'll say having been through it. If you have a good relationship with them, cherish them. You only get one set of parents.

 

As far as being single.. I've found the best way to look at it is as a neutral, not a negative. It's far better emotionally to be single than in a bad relationship.

 

I will say that as far as imagining things getting worse? That's kind of negative thinking. Understand, it really really could be worse. Look at what you do have. You have a job and a house though you may feel a little insecure about them right now. Maybe you're losing touch with some freinds but they won't all disappear, and new ones will appear.

 

As for me? I guess I'm about a 6 -7 right at the moment. I have everything I need in life. Food, shelter, water a job and I'm in pretty good health.. I have more than that in material things which is a nice little bonus in life. I live in a safe neighborhood in a country where though it's not perfect I am protected and have the freedom to express myself without fear of imprisonment or worse. I'm lucky that there are people willing to make the ultimate self sacrifice for that to be possible.

 

But the holidays kind of remind me of the people I miss. My parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and the person who used to be my wife and became someone else. So I'm a bit melancholy right now. This too shall pass.

[Art_Critic]

Since then, I've been laid off, the immediate future is not sure, husband's freaking out at the thought of taking on my bills, and I'm grieving the loss of a job that I really, really love.

 

Sorry to hear about this Quank...

 

I'll be thinking about you this holiday season..

[Star Gazer]

On it's own no, when coupled with some diatribe on nothing being that bad for her you're definitely making your own diagnosis.

 

I'm guessing you've never had to look after a family member that's depressed. I had to look after my father when he was in that state, sometimes it can be certain things that have happened many moons ago that underlies someone's personality, sometimes they can have blocked them out and not even be aware of it. So to sit on an internet forum and judge someone on their unhappiness is particularly pathetic.

 

Yeah alright SG, bla bla bla

 

1. What diatribe? Please QUOTE me, word for word.

 

2. Yes, I've had and taken care of family members and friends who are depressed, including my MOTHER. Who's making assumptions now? This is ridiculous!!

 

This has got to be the most hypocritical conversation I've ever read. You're attacking me, and not the very person in this thread who was being judgmental and tearing down others' happiness!

 

Let me remind you: It was OG who was judging levels of happiness. It was OG saying that people aren't as happy as they profess to be. It was OG saying that she can sense otherwise. It was OG saying that she's the one honest person, because she's admitting she's unhappy.

 

It was not me. I never said someone isn't as happy as they claim to be. She did. She did alone. I've left the "judging happiness" responsibility with her. I don't want it.

 

Are you sure? If it is' date=' as someone else suggested, a chemical imbalance. Or have you diagnosed her?[/quote']

 

For the third time, no. I have not diagnosed her, and I would never attempt to, as I am neither a licensed psychologist/psychiatrist nor have I treated her for any mental illness. But apparently Surrealist and Rudderless have! Does she know that she's been diagnosed as clinically depressed and having a chemical imbalance by LS laypeople?

 

That said, if she IS depressed or has a chemical imbalance, I believe that, YES...she has control of that, via medication, therapy, etc. There is absolutely no need for her to be miserable forever. Do you think otherwise? Do you believe OG is doomed to a life of unhappiness??

 

Your views ie: assumptions and judgments, are not fairly rational at all. They are assumptions and judgments that are meaningless...

 

S, it's your assumptions and judgments about my so-called assumptions and judgments that are what's not rational.

 

Please, tell me: What assumptions and judgments about happiness have I made that offend you so deeply? I have said:

 

1. It's sad when unhappy people (using OG as an example, who said she's unhappy in her OP) attempt to discredit other people's happiness by claiming they have some happiness thermometer (aka "sense") that shows the happy person is actually unhappier than they say they are.

 

2. Everyone is in control of their own happiness.

 

I stand by those two comments. *shrug*

 

But I would not expect this from you having read many of your posts that more often than not, pull people down or kick people while they are down.

 

I think you have me confused with OG or her LS BFF. Really.

[Star Gazer]

if you'd asked this question three weeks ago, I'd have said a 9.5 and upward. Since then, I've been laid off, the immediate future is not sure, husband's freaking out at the thought of taking on my bills, and I'm grieving the loss of a job that I really, really love.

 

but you know what? Aside from yesterday's anxiety attack, I can honestly say I'm at about an 8 right now.

 

I love your attitude! I really, truly hope others will be inspired by it!

 

And I'm sorry to hear about your job and resulting concerns. Those are definitely tough.

[Surrealist]

 

 

For the third time, no. I have not diagnosed her, and I would never attempt to, as I am neither a licensed psychologist/psychiatrist nor have I treated her for any mental illness. But apparently Surrealist and Rudderless have! Does she know that she's been diagnosed as clinically depressed and having a chemical imbalance by LS laypeople?

 

Before I answer your question, I just want to address this, since you brought my name into it. I made some commentary around depression in my posts above that had no reference to OG or her level of happiness whatsoever. It seems a very common tactic of yours to name people and implicate them with certain behaviours or opinions being discussed, which appears, as it would seem, to deflect attention away from your own offensive bahaviours or views as they emerge in your posts. In my opinion, this is not only defamatory but a very weak and cowardly way to argue or counter-argue your points.

 

 

Please, tell me: What assumptions and judgments about happiness have I made that offend you so deeply? I have said:

 

 

I refer back to your post of which I said above that I understand your explanation in response. Albeit I do not agree with your points which is why I cited them as assumptions and judgements.....

 

Truth is, the unhappy people project their misery on others, because misery loves company.

 

 

This is an assumption where you are stating that 'unhappy people project misery on others' where the assumption is challenged on the point that not all unhappy people project their misery on others as you assume.

 

I also wonder how people who rank themselves so low on the happiness scale would do if something bad actually happened to them.

 

This is a judgement particularly with reference to OG in the following post.....

 

Au contraire, on all points.

 

She is none of the things SB listed. Thus, I'm hard pressed to understand why she values her happiness as a 2. Clearly, things could be far worse. And just because she values her happiness as a 2, does not mean that even those who are worse off than she is can't feel they are happier than a 2.

 

 

Who are you to assert that what OG, or anyone else for that matter, has experienced or continue to experience, not be "something bad that actually happened to them"? You are not involved in their lives or privvy to everything that such people are experiencing or encountering. Who are you to judge people who rank their happiness at the lower end of the scale when they have mentioned things (little less the things they have not mentioned that also may be contributing to their level of happiness)

that clearly point to challenges in life that may impact adversely on one's wellbeing or happiness?

 

Star Gazer, you are not one to judge anyone and make such remarks about people who rank their level of happiness low due to what they may be experiencing in their lives. Ocean Girl is free to rank her happiness where she feels it fits. In my opinion your judgements in your posts toward OG are spiteful and malicious.

Edited December 22, 2010 by Surrealist

[denise_xo]

In a lot of areas of my life, I'm at 9-10. Minor pockets at 6 or so, ocassionally dipping down to 5.

Hope it goes uphill for you soon, OG

[sb129]

Ok, I am sorry if I sounded judgemental.

 

I just thought seeing as its Christmastime its a good time to think of those less fortunate than ourselves.

 

I have had clinical depression twice, once following a breakup, and once postnatally and I do sympathise. However despite meds etc, we still have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps sometimes. Everyone has their s*** to deal with, nobody is immune.

 

Thats all I was trying to say.

[Star Gazer]

It seems a very common tactic of yours to name people and implicate them with certain behaviours or opinions being discussed, which appears, as it would seem, to deflect attention away from your own offensive bahaviours or views as they emerge in your posts. In my opinion, this is not only defamatory but a very weak and cowardly way to argue or counter-argue your points.

 

Meh. That's your opinion. I named OG, and only OG, because she was the one I was talking about. I'm neither weak nor cowardly, so your assaults really don't affect me. Ya know?

 

This is an assumption where you are stating that 'unhappy people project misery on others' where the assumption is challenged on the point that not all unhappy people project their misery on others as you assume.

 

I disagree. I have never encountered an unhappy, miserable person who took sincere joy in others delight. Not once. You call it a judgment. I call it experience. What you're doing now only proves my point.

 

Who are you to assert that what OG, or anyone else for that matter, has experienced or continue to experience, not be "something bad that actually happened to them"?

 

Listen. For the 10th time, I was using OG's words. We all have to rely on what people tell us here, right? I can't and shouldn't assume anything more than what she expresses here. She said she was unhappy for XYZ reasons. I am merely concerned that if something WORSE than those XYZ reasons occurred (of which there are many, many things that are far, far worse than what she's said is making her a "2"), she wouldn't handle it well. Further, her blatant statement that happy people are actually lying about their happiness only demonstrates projection.

 

Star Gazer, you are not one to judge anyone and make such remarks about people who rank their level of happiness low due to what they may be experiencing in their lives. Ocean Girl is free to rank her happiness where she feels it fits. In my opinion your judgements in your posts toward OG are spiteful and malicious.

 

S, you are not one to judge either. Seriously. You are pointing fingers at me for things I'm allegedly doing, that you are doing yourself.

 

Listen, I'm incredibly sorry that you think my desire for others to find happiness in their lives, and take control of their happiness and, gosh forbid!, look on the bright side, as it could always be worse, is so "spiteful and vicious." That speaks more to your own issues than anything having to do with me.

 

I also find it quite the interesting coincidence that your flame war of me, as opposed to the many who agreed with me in my comments about OG's post, comes on the heels of my offline conversation with her. She can't fight her own battles. I get it. I understand.

 

I'd like to say this is the end of it, but I'll let you have the last word.

[Star Gazer]

However despite meds etc, we still have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps sometimes. Everyone has their s*** to deal with, nobody is immune.

 

Thats all I was trying to say.

 

Me too. I'm really surprised by the reaction.

[OceanGirl]

I believe that I have situational depression. My dad is terminally ill and this may be his last Christmas. Yes, I am directly involved in caring for him as well as supporting my parents financially. I don't write about this on LS... There are other things that I don't write about on here.

 

I actually tried to find a guy so desperately because I know that seeing me settle down would make my dad happy before he died. I failed, and I think I should now just spend as much time with him as possible.

 

The prospect of getting fired is also very real and hanging over my head - there are people that depend on me now. It's hard to be happy under these circumstances.

 

Surealist, thank you for defending me. I appreciate your post more than you know