On the scale 1-10 how happy are you?

[impz]

I'm probably around a 4 right now. It used to be better, but as anyone who is reading the business subforum knows, I may have done poorly in my first semester of law school and it has triggered a quarter-life crisis of sorts. However, I am grateful for the reassuring words of posters on here like Star Gazer and others. I have numerous real life friends who have been nothing but supportive as well, saying that even if I did do poorly, I still have an opportunity to improve immensely, particularly because I already know exactly what I need to change.

 

I'm looking into counseling to help sort out this quarter life crisis, and I'm also going to look into getting tested for ADHD since I've long suspected of having it and if so would explain a lot about my work and school habits.

 

I've also found my first serious romantic prospect in almost two years who is absolutely in love with me. I should be happier about this than I am, but I just have too much other stuff to sort out in my life right now.

 

Well, if you did poorly, and you knew how to tackle it, the only way to go is up, up and up. You should be glad. Most people did poorly in many things without ever knowing why or how it happened.

[Surrealist]

May be a controversial comment but many (not all) people out there (not meaning anyone here in particular) are not as happy as they like to make themselves out to be. You can tell by the attitudes, the smugness, judgementalism and other exhibits like that. I read many forums from online newspapers, blogs and other places and people everywhere just look to tear shreds off others. Now in front of your face no doubt many of these people would be nice and tactful, but their hearts are something much different and dark.

 

I also have to wonder about people who are always happy, do they ever have any empathy for those around the world who are suffering and how this may have some impact on your own happiness? Maybe a lack of empathy is not such a bad thing?

 

Comments around money are also very interesting. I use to be quite involved in church activities where it was common to pontificate to people on the virtues of finding happiness apart money including financial strain (ie: if you didn't have enough for whatever reason outside of your control). Yet the church itself would often have its hand out and I know for a fact that the churches (those similar to the pentecostal persuasion at least) would employ a lot of tactics in order to raise more money and would assess performances of visiting speakers based on the money raised and number of people in the congregation counted. The manipulation was incredible and frankly disgusting, with all sorts of guilt trips from claiming that people were robbing God and so on.

 

Well yeah, money may not buy happiness, but it buys everything else.

[MrNate]

Eh, I'd give it a 4.

[OceanGirl]

There is actually nothing worse than people that pretend that they are happy when I can sense that they aren't.

 

I think it is much more honest to admit to it openly.

 

There are many that walk around with fake smiles plastered across their faces and are very polite but are in fact very two faced and will stab you in the back in 2 seconds flat.

 

Some people are TRULY happy - but they are by far few and far between.

[Rudderless]

6-7 don't generally go below a 5 or above an 8 unless for very brief amounts of time (like a few hours)

[Rudderless]

There is actually nothing worse than people that pretend that they are happy when I can sense that they aren't.

 

I think it is much more honest to admit to it openly.

 

There are many that walk around with fake smiles plastered across their faces and are very polite but are in fact very two faced and will stab you in the back in 2 seconds flat.

 

Some people are TRULY happy - but they are by far few and far between.

 

Happiness is a bit of a fickle thing though, generally because it can come and go quite quickly.

 

What's more important is feeling that you're an ok person. It's then much easier to realise that most things are just circumstance which are beyond your control so it's not worth taking them on board to affect your state.

 

I don't see the point in telling myself I'm awesome every day or something, I'd rather have my feet on the ground.

[Star Gazer]

There is actually nothing worse than unhappy people that pretend that others aren't and cannot possibly be genuinely happy, and try to put them down as dishonest claiming they have some sort of sensory perception that proves the happy people are really unhappy. Truth is, the unhappy people project their misery on others, because misery loves company.

 

I also wonder how people who rank themselves so low on the happiness scale would do if something bad actually happened to them.

[SmileFace]

I am at a 8 when I don't think about it

 

Despite the fact the fact I am working a job with no benefits, getting paid for only a quarter of the work I do. Pay my sisters and fathers bills. Have custody for my little brother.Don't know where I will be leaving next month. Can't afford a car , let alone my rent on my income. Can't start back school unless a bag of money falls out of the sky. Don't understand why my mother thinks I am on drugs, and alcoholic and a fast girl. Have no health insurance. For some reason went back with my ex fling. Can't get emotional attached to a guy. Having a horrid time dating. Living in a new area with no friends.

 

Well after reading this I am at 4

Sadly enough I am happy.

Love my job. Don't live with my acid mother any more. Loving my new body. Work out daily - eating right and healthy.

Edited December 22, 2010 by SmileFace

[angielove]

How would you actually know if someone was lying about being happy?!?! The only person who can truly know how happy you are is yourself! And besides, who cares if someone is lying about it? It shouldn't negatively affect you... unless you are a crazy person who relies on the misery of others to get through life.

 

Telling yourself that you are happy, smiling when you don't feel like it, giving off the impression that you are happy, coming up with reasons why you should be happy... all these things can actually make you feel happy (or at least less sad). Positive thinking my friends!

 

PS. I'm an 11

[Star Gazer]

How would you actually know if someone was lying about being happy?!?! The only person who can truly know how happy you are is yourself! And besides, who cares if someone is lying about it? It shouldn't negatively affect you... unless you are a crazy person who relies on the misery of others to get through life.

 

So true!!

 

I'm not sure how a "happiness comparison" thread does anyone any good. Hopefully most folks are using it as a reason to point out all the reasons they have TO be happy.

[OceanGirl]

I feel like sharing Kippling's famous poem If.. for all the unhappy people out there:

 

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

 

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!";

 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

[sweetjasmine]

There is actually nothing worse than unhappy people that pretend that others aren't and cannot possibly be genuinely happy, and try to put them down as dishonest claiming they have some sort of sensory perception that proves the happy people are really unhappy. Truth is, the unhappy people project their misery on others, because misery loves company.

 

Yeah, and it's a little upsetting that sometimes people are feeling so miserable themselves that they can't imagine how anyone could ever be consistently happy. It strikes me as a rationalization for maintaining the status quo and being consistently unhappy: "Yes, I'm miserable, but it's not even possible to be happy overall. People who act that way are faking it." That attitude makes it even more difficult to climb out of the hole.

 

No one's ever happy 100% of the time. Life is far from perfect, and there are plenty of bumps along the way for everyone. Two months ago, I would've listed my overall happiness as below 5. Two years ago, I probably would've said I was at a 3. But the difference between the people who say they're generally happy most of the time and the people who feel depressed most of the time is that the happy ones have an overall attitude and approach to life that helps them bounce back when bad things inevitably happen.

 

I've had to learn how to do that, and it hasn't been easy. The past two years have been rough for me, with a lot of significant changes, and it's taken me a lot of work and perseverance to find ways out of bad situations and do things to improve my happiness. I put effort into changing what was making me unhappy, even though I was feeling incredibly frustrated with the parts of my life that were impossible to change right away and that were out of my control.

 

So it's pretty odd to read passive-aggressive comments about how most people who say they're happy must be faking it and how they'd be unhappy if they had empathy and an understanding of what's happening in the world. You can't really know what people who say they're happy have been through or what they do or don't know or feel unless they tell you everything themselves.

[somedude81]

Right now, I'm a 1.

 

I had so much hope for this year and I completely failed. I had a grand total of three dates. Two dates with one girl, then she decided to start ignoring me. The other girl brought her best guy friend along on our date.

 

But I still saw her every day in school. Even though she told me she didn't want to date, I stupidly tried to pursue her hoping to eventually win her over. We hung out many times. Though nearly a year later all I did was increase my attachment to her. The last time we talked, she told me she "didn't know" if she wanted to hang out with me. Meaning that if she had some free time, she would call me That was after I told her, if she didn't want to hang out, she should just say no. Of course I didn't hear from her and I know I never will.

 

It just really hurts that after all this time we've spent together, I mean absolutely nothing to her. Here I am ready to fall in love and she doesn't even have the decency to tell me what she really thought. I don't think she even liked me as a friend. So I have no idea why she hung out with me and came to my apartment to play games.

 

Besides that, this is the end of the decade. I've realized that I've been out of high school for ten years. I still haven't managed to get a girlfriend, or even sleep with a woman without giving her money first. I'm doing poorly in school and may even get kicked out this year after grades come out. If that happened I'd lose my financial aid and then have to leave my apartment. Also if I end up getting dismissed from my university, I don't have a backup plan. There's no way I can find a real job to support myself.

 

I'm flying home to visit my parents and family today, and I'm not excited at all. I hate it when they ask me what I want for Christmas. I wish I could say, "happiness, a girlfriend" but I know I can't, so I ask for a gift card.

 

It's also another year where I haven't been able to make any friends. I've been in Socal for two years and I still have zero friends.

 

I have no hope for next year. None. I'm supposed to be turning 30 in August.

[OceanGirl]

I didn't mean people in this thread are faking happiness. I didn't mean it is impossible to be happy.

 

 

I had a certain co-worker in mind who is stuck in pleasant-ville to the point of it being scary (think that poster GooseChaser - she is similar).

[Star Gazer]

"Yes, I'm miserable, but it's not even possible to be happy overall. People who act that way are faking it." That attitude makes it even more difficult to climb out of the hole.

 

So true. It also makes it difficult to put their unhappiness in perspective. What some of these people are complaining of to justify their low number just boggles my mind. Things could always be worse, much worse. Maybe I sound like a Thanksgiving card, but there's so much to be thankful for and happy about.

 

But the difference between the people who say they're generally happy most of the time and the people who feel depressed most of the time is that the happy ones have an overall attitude and approach to life that helps them bounce back when bad things inevitably happen.

 

A sort of emotional resilience.

 

The past two years have been rough for me, with a lot of significant changes, and it's taken me a lot of work and perseverance to find ways out of bad situations and do things to improve my happiness. I put effort into changing what was making me unhappy, even though I was feeling incredibly frustrated with the parts of my life that were impossible to change right away and that were out of my control.

 

Good on you for taking control of your happiness!!

 

So it's pretty odd to read passive-aggressive comments about how most people who say they're happy must be faking it and how they'd be unhappy if they had empathy and an understanding of what's happening in the world.

 

True. But I have noticed that the people who like to be "deep and dark" IME are the unhappiest.

 

I think everyone just needs a furry friend.

[OceanGirl]

At least my cat loves me

[pandagirl]

Happiness is also like an exercise. I think you can train yourself to be happier in life -- the more you focus on the positive, the more of a habit it will become. And it goes for the opposite, too -- negativity begets more negativity.

[Rudderless]

Yeah, and it's a little upsetting that sometimes people are feeling so miserable themselves that they can't imagine how anyone could ever be consistently happy.

 

Uh, because it's biologically impossible, your body cannot release enough endorphins to keep you consistently happy.

 

You can be consistently content (something I am), but consistently happy would only be possible via a chemical anomaly

[dispatch3d]

I'm at a 10 right now. I think in life I'm hovering around a 7-8 (which is right around content?). For about a week or two I was at a 10 all the time, hopefully I get back there soon.

 

I do occasionally go down to like a 5 or 7, don't get me wrong. I just do my best to recover, and it works out I think. .

[dispatch3d]

Wow people talk of months or days where they are at 5. I haven't experience that in december for sure, probably not in november either. When I say I'm unhappy it's usually for a period of 10-15 minutes.

 

My roommate was fired from his job in management. That made me upset for probably a week to two weeks.

 

Before this thread I perceived almost everyone as unhappy. It made me a bit sad. I'm actually glad that so many people consider themselves in the 7-8 range. The one 11 is just awesome. Goodjob!

 

Humm weird I realize now I contradicted myself with happy this month and the firing. I guess it's more a sense of compassion than unhappiness? I can't describe it.

[allina]

I was almost killed today by an oil tanker that totaled my car inches from my face, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's not the end of the world. I'm alive. I'm lucky to be alive. For that, I think I'm back to an 8.

 

OGM SG! I'm so glad you're ok! *hugs*

 

There is actually nothing worse than unhappy people that pretend that others aren't and cannot possibly be genuinely happy, and try to put them down as dishonest claiming they have some sort of sensory perception that proves the happy people are really unhappy. Truth is, the unhappy people project their misery on others, because misery loves company.

 

I agree. I feel like there is a bit of that on LS recently, as well as IRL.

 

As for me, I range from a 7-10.

In general I LOVE my life and I am so incredibly thankful for everything I've been given. I have the most amazing husband, I honestly feel like I love him more and more as times passes. My parents are happy and healthy and we have a great relationship with them. I have a roof over my head, food to eat and all that good stuff. My H and I have also reestablished a great group of friends after a few of our friends moved out of state over the past year.

 

However I do worry about money and the future. My job is stagnant, and I feel like I'm going nowhere career wise, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I feel like I'm not saving enough money, I worry about financial security.

 

There is also on and off drama with my MIL which makes me worry about failing to bring us all together as one big happy family.

[sb129]

There is actually nothing worse than unhappy people that pretend that others aren't and cannot possibly be genuinely happy, and try to put them down as dishonest claiming they have some sort of sensory perception that proves the happy people are really unhappy. Truth is, the unhappy people project their misery on others, because misery loves company.

 

I also wonder how people who rank themselves so low on the happiness scale would do if something bad actually happened to them.

 

On this thread unless I am mistaken, none of the people who are ranking themselves below 5 are any of the following

 

homeless

sick/ injured

bereaved

destitute

abused

tortured

starved

fighting in a war

imprisoned

parents of children who are any of the above

 

Get a grip people.

 

I am not happy "all of the time", however I am content. Its enough. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else.

 

I am also clearheaded enough to realise that striving for "perfect happiness" is a recipe for disaster, and that counting ones blessings (the ones you have right now, not the ones you think you deserve or want in the future) is the only way to get enough perspective to achieve regular happiness/ contentment.

[dispatch3d]

To me that's part of the problem. People base their happiness or lack thereof on events that happen in their life. Even though any event that happens in some instance will have such a minute effect on them in the long scheme of things. They only truly care in that moment.

 

I'm surprised at the amount of I'm happy because of x y and z, or incredibly thankful, whatever. Similarly, the people who say I'm unhappy because of x y and z. I guess I just don't believe in that sort of thing. Good and bad happens, and it's more a question of how one deals with it.

[Surrealist]

There is actually nothing worse than unhappy people that pretend that others aren't and cannot possibly be genuinely happy, and try to put them down as dishonest claiming they have some sort of sensory perception that proves the happy people are really unhappy. Truth is, the unhappy people project their misery on others, because misery loves company.

 

I also wonder how people who rank themselves so low on the happiness scale would do if something bad actually happened to them.

 

If there's nothing worse than this encounter in your life then you've certainly have very little to be unhappy about. You don't know nothing bad has ever happened or is currently happening to these people. Truth is, not all unhappy people project their misery on other.

 

Your post is filled with meaningless assumption and judgementalisms that does more to prove my point than not.

 

Now have a nice day. I'm actually quite happy.

Edited December 22, 2010 by Surrealist

[Rudderless]

On this thread unless I am mistaken, none of the people who are ranking themselves below 5 are any of the following

 

homeless

sick/ injured

bereaved

destitute

abused

tortured

starved

fighting in a war

imprisoned

parents of children who are any of the above

Are they human and capable of a chemical imbalance in their brains that means it doesn't release enough endorphins?

 

 

Get a grip people.

Well done, trillions invested in decades of medical research and you've solved it all in one line