AFSF Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 well just found out my girl friend was cheating on me while i was in BT, she broke up wiht me couple monthes ago but her freinds decided to go to lunch wiht me and tell every thing,i was heated but now it is what it is, i mean her lettes ment a lot to me and helped a lot, and while i was with her i had a great time and terated me well. and i also head a lot of stories likr this from few of my buddies how their girls screwd hem over while their away. but my ex was the nicest person i ever seen at least i thought she was but after that and all the stories how can i know that anohter girl won't do the same, i have been wiht her for yrs before i joined. after that i have issues trusting girls and i'd much rather stick wiht one night stands, but really how do i know the next girl wont do the same, and why do a lot of guys in the service get screwed over like this
Stung Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Ah, sorry. It sucks and it hurts but as you said, it is what it is. The truth is, you will never KNOW that the next one won't do the same, just as the next one won't KNOW that you won't do whatever has been done in the past to screw with her heart. There's always some risk. But, you will hopefully learn from each relationship, gain better judgement, and figure out who contributed what to the relationship dynamic--both good and bad. I can't answer definitively if it happens more to guys in the service, or why. Cheating probably occurs more within certain age groups and cultural environments, such as young people in situations where emotions run high and in a culture where physical prowess is emphasized over emotional intelligence. Long periods of separation are also very tough for couples to weather. There are still people out there who believe in working it out, in fidelity and communication. I wish you the best in finding the girl for you, one with stronger boundaries.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I know how you feel. I don't think I've been cheated on, but I have been hurt by misleading and dishonest words. It's hard to trust again. But if it helps, I'm 34, I've spent most of my adult life in relationships, and I've never cheated on anyone and could not. So there are faithful girls out there. You just have to find us (and we you).
Eddie Edirol Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 How do you know? its easy. As long as youre in the service and away from home, you dont get involved in a relationship. Women need attention, and unless you really know what youre doing to keep them devoted, they will look elsewhere when youre not paying attention. So for however long youre in the service, you dont even think about women until your contract is done for good.
Author AFSF Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 How do you know? its easy. As long as youre in the service and away from home, you dont get involved in a relationship. Women need attention, and unless you really know what youre doing to keep them devoted, they will look elsewhere when youre not paying attention. So for however long youre in the service, you dont even think about women until your contract is done for good. well the thing is i don't plan to get out for a while i just joined and have 5more yrs to go, and if i can i'm going to do 20yrs, and if she didnt want to she could have broke it off instead of making me find out this way
january2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Echoing the others. You don't know. But if you have trust issues, I suggest that that it's worth working them out rather than bringing them with you into the next relationship. There are still people who believe in and practise fidelity. But as Ruby Slippers wrote, "You just have to find us (and we you)."
Eddie Edirol Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 well the thing is i don't plan to get out for a while i just joined and have 5more yrs to go, and if i can i'm going to do 20yrs, and if she didnt want to she could have broke it off instead of making me find out this way You dont get warnings! They keep you hooked until they find someone else and then drop you. people are cowards when they give up on a relationship. Do you really expect someone to wait around for you months at a time for 20 years straight? Finding someone like that is lottery like odds. That isnt the way normal healthy relationships work. If you need a gf that badly, get a trade and stay in one place, here. Youre not going to learn how to keep a woman devoted to you while youre off in the service for 20 years.
Woggle Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Take some time on your own because you need that to heal but when the next woman comes along treat her as an individual and know you are strong enough to walk if she ever betrays you. I have been through the ringer with women myself so I fully understand where you are coming from. Also try to improve your woman picker.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 well the thing is i don't plan to get out for a while i just joined and have 5more yrs to go, and if i can i'm going to do 20yrs, and if she didnt want to she could have broke it off instead of making me find out this way Do you even have a plan as to how you will keep a woman SOOO in love with you when she cant see or talk to you? Everything in life moves on when you go away, nothing waits for you. Why would a woman who is looking for her lifemate to have a family with go for a guy who basically isnt in her life most of the time, when she can just grab someone who has a job here? She wants security and someone with her in bed every night keeping her warm. If you want to stay in the service and have a relationship, you have to ask yourself these things.
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