Length of Relationship before break-up...does it matter?

[HopeisallIhave]

Just curious about people's thoughts on this...

 

Do you think the length of a relationship works against or for a person when contemplating the odds of getting back together?

 

I know it depends on why the relationship ended, but for instance, if a couple was together for 12 years, does that mean there is more hope of reconciliation because of the bond between them or less hope because they've been together so long?

[january2010]

That's a lot of shared history and if there are still ties such as finances, friends and children, then it's likely they'll remain in each other's lives for a long while. They have more interactions and with each one, there's a chance that they will move closer towards each other. Though there's also a chance that they'll move further away from each other.

 

Of course, the other issue is that after 12 years, you've probably worked through most of what you need to know about that other person in terms of whether or not they'd make a good life partner. There's a story arc there, with plenty of time for the relationship to go wrong and both parties probably have enough material with which to decide that it's not worth going back because they've "been there done that."

[cerridwen]

In my experience and that of friends, this idiom seems to prove true with longer relationships.

 

Less extreme than contempt, but just as prevelant, is the feeling that the relationship has simply run its course. Shorter relationships may not have been as thoroughly wrung out and that seems to be more attractive for some and so they'll return.