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What does this mean?!?!?

BlindRage

By BlindRage
in Coping

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BlindRage Established Member

BlindRage

Posted
Posted (edited)

So I went around 3 days NC(this is always how it goes on the 3rd day every time I try NC I just get weak and contact my ex). So I called my ex around 3 minutes ago and they answered. They sounded like they were literally having the time of their life and enjoying everything specially that Christmas was coming around. I don't even know why I contacted them. I just started to feel weak and needed to speak to them and maybe hoping that they missed me and wanted me back lol. Okay, so went we spoke, I felt like I was talking to a stranger that I had absolutely no attachment to. Is this a sign that I'm moving on? I even told them "I wanted to talk to you but this feels not right, strange and awkward." I ended the conversation with "I'll talk to you some other time, bye." It just hurts knowing they are happy without me even though I'm not unhappy right now. I feel that the only reason that I even want them back is because they are I can say the most attractive person I can ever get with.

 

 

What should I do? They don't want me back (I've been told GTFO my life, I don't love you no more nor have feelings for you etc etc)

:confused:

 

Let me just add this, my ex has someone who they are completely in love with, I don't know if this plays a role in my feelings. I really thought we would always be together and after 2 1/2 years they talked to someone for a few weeks and then dumped me. It's painful knowing they easily traded me after all thoses ILYs and promises/dreams we had together.

Edited by BlindRage
january2010 Established Member

january2010

Posted
Posted

You made a slip-up and it sent you spiralling again because you weren't emotionally ready to handle contact with your ex yet.

 

Go back to full NC (delete and block her contacts) and stick to it so that you can heal and get on with your life. You need at least 6 months to a year of full NC to really get started on the path to healing and moving on with your life. What your ex is doing now is no concern of yours. Your job is to get yourself well again: stronger and more emotionally stable.

 

You may wish to read the first post in this thread to give you an idea of what to expect and all the thoughts and emotions you will cycle through:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t230272/

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted
So I went around 3 days NC(this is always how it goes on the 3rd day every time I try NC I just get weak and contact my ex).

 

(. . .)

 

What should I do? ......

 

STOP CONTACTING THEM!!!!!!

 

Sorted - !

 

NEXT!!

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

What should I do? They don't want me back (I've been told GTFO my life, I don't love you no more nor have feelings for you etc etc)

:confused:

 

 

Ugly.

 

What should you do?

You have to spend your time in NC, asking yourself what's up with you that you want to be with someone with zero interest in being with you. Ask yourself, what's up with your self-esteem, those kinds of questions. And don't ask them in a rhetorical way. Write down the question and then write down what comes to you regarding an answer.

 

You touched on her attractiveness. Keep going from there. Do you want her primarily to build yourself up so you feel "like somebody"? What don't you like about yourself? Where does that come from? What can you do to change it? Then spend your time changing it.

Feel like you're unattractive, out of shape? Change it. Feel like you're not interesting? Learn something new so you feel interesting. Put your energy there.

 

Also, I really like the site Baggage Reclaim. It's kinda geared towards women but the issues are applicable to everyone. There's a good front page article called Don't They Care About Me? Didn't I Mean Something To Them?

Maybe it will help.

Edited by cerridwen
homebrew Established Member

homebrew

Posted
Posted (edited)

What does it mean, you ask?

 

I think it is great news if you ask me!

 

You are well on your way to accomplishing your objective, which is:

 

1. Even though your EX does not want to be with you at the moment or anytime in the near future, that is only a minor inconvenience for the both of you. You will love them from a far... or closer if need be.

 

2. You are still able to get all of your needs met and get exactly what you want out of the relationship even though it is one-sided. You are so giving and understanding in your Exes time of need!

 

3. You enjoy being miserable and suffering and want to share what a joy that is with your EX.

 

4. There is no describing how turned on your EX is that you do not posses an ounce of self-respect or dignity! Who needs that stuff anyway? That's just extra baggage that gets in the way.

 

5. Since your EX broke up with you, the fact that they would want any sort of space or would like nothing to do with you is a completely insane way of thinking! You are so kind to put your needs and desires aside to help them understand how "unhealthy" that is for the both of you. I mean seriously... whoever heard of an EX that wanted space or nothing to do with the person that they just dumped?

 

6. You want your EX along with their friends, family, co-workers, etc to wish that they never met you. Your EX is blinded by their love for you and it's not like those other people have any influence with my EX anyway!

 

7. You will not be fully happy until your EX has to change their phone number, move, change jobs, call the police and have a restraining order filed against you. Let's all be honest... Nothing really says I love you more than a restraining order!

 

If you continue to contact your EX... Then you will reach number 7 before you know it!

 

Let us all know when you and your EX get back together... shouldn't be long now!

Edited by homebrew
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BlindRage Established Member

BlindRage

Posted
  • Author
Posted
What does it mean, you ask?

 

I think it is great news if you ask me!

 

You are well on your way to accomplishing your objective, which is:

 

1. Even though your EX does not want to be with you at the moment or anytime in the near future, that is only a minor inconvenience for the both of you. You will love them from a far... or closer if need be.

 

2. You are still able to get all of your needs met and get exactly what you want out of the relationship even though it is one-sided. You are so giving and understanding in your Exes time of need!

 

3. You enjoy being miserable and suffering and want to share what a joy that is with your EX.

 

4. There is no describing how turned on your EX is that you do not posses an ounce of self-respect or dignity! Who needs that stuff anyway? That's just extra baggage that gets in the way.

 

5. Since your EX broke up with you, the fact that they would want any sort of space or would like nothing to do with you is a completely insane way of thinking! You are so kind to put your needs and desires aside to help them understand how "unhealthy" that is for the both of you. I mean seriously... whoever heard of an EX that wanted space or nothing to do with the person that they just dumped?

 

6. You want your EX along with their friends, family, co-workers, etc to wish that they never met you.

 

7. You will not be fully happy until your EX has to change their phone number, move, change jobs, call the police and have a restraining order filed against you. Let's all be honest... Nothing really says I love you more than a restraining order!

 

If you continue to contact your EX... Then you will reach number 7 before you know it!

 

Keep up the great work... Let us know when you get back together!

 

 

 

You are right

My ex hates my guts and I don't know why I can't control at least showing I have self-respect. Which by now they know I don't haha.

I'm such a wreck right now to be honest with you.

homebrew Established Member

homebrew

Posted
Posted
You are right

My ex hates my guts and I don't know why I can't control at least showing I have self-respect. Which by now they know I don't haha.

I'm such a wreck right now to be honest with you.

 

Your EX does not hate your guts... In fact, they care about you.

 

Go read my thread called "The Definitive Guide If You Were Dumped (Pocket Edition)" in the breaking up forum.

 

Better yet... go read all the threads created by me... You will understand what to do and not to do.

 

FACT: You can recover from this (in your EXes mind) if you start to follow the advice of others on here.

 

With No Contact and time... Your EX will forget all about the wrong things you did post break up and remember you and all the wonderful things you did in the relationship.

 

Which one would you prefer they remember?

cboy90 Member

cboy90

Posted
Posted

I'd go with what homebrew said. He's the man when it comes to stuff like this. NC for 51 days! Haven't broken it once! Already starting to work in my favor :)

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