I've got a lot to say, but don't know where to start..

[mr.dream merchant]

But you do want them because, as you've shared before, you're easy. And from the sound of this post, you wish they were even easier by dropping their other options long enough for you both to be easy together till you decide they're too low quality to be with easy low quality you. The problem is they're not as impressed with you as you'd like and that makes it harder for you to feel above them.

 

Valtrax. You're going to need it.

 

Well this isn't entirely true. Do mind, however, when a rather loose woman tries to put on the classy woman act just to land me, or somehow, coerce a long term relationship with them. This is something I've been dealing with alot lately. Women of a certain caliber, know my standards and preferences as far as LTR's go, and know that they themselves do not meet them, so they deceive so to speak, so that way they manage to acquire a shot at one.

 

And is it not good to pride myself in my success in the gym and my physical health? Why is pride a bad thing?

[zengirl]

Well this isn't entirely true. Do mind, however, when a rather loose woman tries to put on the classy woman act just to land me, or somehow, coerce a long term relationship with them. This is something I've been dealing with alot lately. Women of a certain caliber, know my standards and preferences as far as LTR's go, and know that they themselves do not meet them, so they deceive so to speak, so that way they manage to acquire a shot at one.

 

And is it not good to pride myself in my success in the gym and my physical health? Why is pride a bad thing?

 

Pride is actually one of the seven deadly sins. It's also otherwise known as hubris, to the Greeks, and has led to many an end to a tragic hero. Arrogance, which you also possess and display here and in most of your posts, is a turnoff to most quality women.

 

The funny thing is, you don't meet the standard of most quality women, I imagine, and that's what you desire to fix -- and you keep getting these other girls, who you deserve. Want to deserve better? Be better. It's not a magic bullet---it doesn't work right away. But align yourself with better values, and you'll have a better life overall, better quality women, and you won't be feeling the way you were when you made that post.

 

But you won't be you.

 

And the reason you push back so much about these little hot button issues is because you don't want to even LOOK at your values and see how they interact with your life. You have a strong adversion to change, or opening your mind, and you can't better yourself without changing and opening your mind. Just doesn't work.

 

You, as you are, are getting what you get. If that's an issue, change it. But superficial changes aren't going to do it. A new shirt? Not going to do it. You have to really examine yourself. Or get very, very lucky.

[Jannah]

Interesting. I see a couple of posts here that attempt to attack your character as if you are in the wrong. Or the planets are not aligning properly or something.

 

I will stick with what you posted and share my "opinion".

 

You are right, there is nothing wrong with you. It took me a long time to realize there was nothing wrong with me. You too will soon realize this. No matter what silly **** a women may tell you.

 

Last time it happened I looked dead at this girl and said, you know, there was nothing wrong with me until I met you! The last thing she saw was ass and elbows. And its true! There wasnt anything wrong with me. She wanted me to compromise who I was. Guess what? It is not an isolated incident. Women play this game all the time, then you are left second guessing yourself. Dont do it.

 

Some of these women can be very manipulative. Stay true to yourself and dont allow that allure to change who you are. Do not compromise. Just because a date or two does not work out does not mean you have exhausted all of your options out there. They just were not for you.

 

Cocky? You damn right you are, and know it. But you just need to work on finding that cocky balance that works for you. Hone it and work on it. Be a man, too many pussy's running around now that dont know how to be a man.

 

Dont make yourself so available. You return those calls and txts when you get around to it. You have better things to do. If a female thinks she can make you jump, she will test how high you can. If you respond that way, you become doormat material later on down the line.

 

Your short temper? Well, I am not justifying anything but females have them too so you are not alone in that regard.

I personally dont let anything get to me. That just pisses them off even more. Give it a shot. You really dont need to say much of anything, just know within yourself you dont give a ****. And then believe and know it.

 

The problem is theirs, not yours man.

 

No one's attacking him, I don't think...

 

So, maybe you could lose the big chip that is pleasantly perched on your shoulder.

 

The OP has said he bolts when there is a disagreement with his lady or he ignores her and walks away.

 

It seems to be a repeated theme for him which is why he posted this thread. Props to him, for at least being open to exploring it.

[AverageJoe]

No one's attacking him, I don't think...

 

So, maybe you could lose the big chip that is pleasantly perched on your shoulder.

 

 

Hi.

 

No chip here. It was an opinion, as originally outlined. Thanks for taking time away from the medicine cabinet to contribute.

 

Taking advice from females (if you are a man) in regards to dating is foolish.

 

Carry on.

[Jannah]

Hi.

 

No chip here. It was an opinion, as originally outlined. Thanks for taking time away from the medicine cabinet to contribute.

 

Taking advice from females (if you are a man) in regards to dating is foolish.

 

Carry on.

 

My medicine cabinet has nothing to do with this.

 

***grunt grunt grrrrrrr me bang on chest me Tarzan***

[AverageJoe]

My medicine cabinet has nothing to do with this.

 

***grunt grunt grrrrrrr me bang on chest me Tarzan***

 

You see what just happened there, mr dream?

 

 

 

 

Look, many of the responses by females here in this thread are trying to mold you into something they themselves may desire. It really has nothing to do with you at all.

 

Just be real and stay true to yourself. Unless, of course you want to be a doormat.

[Jannah]

You see what just happened there, mr dream?

 

 

 

 

Look, many of the responses by females here in this thread are trying to mold you into something they themselves may desire. It really has nothing to do with you at all.

 

Just be real and stay true to yourself. Unless, of course you want to be a doormat.

 

If you were a little more open minded....you would realize that in posting some of the things us women have posted, it will filter out the women he is trying to AVOID.

[mr.dream merchant]

So arrogance and pride being my main issues. Where do you begin? It's like, ingrained within me. I'm not a douchebag walk around tell everyone how they lack in comparison type, but is it prideful and arrogant to just know where you stand?

 

Someone mentioned me leaving when women I'm involved with want to argue or pick at small things that'll only lead to an argument. What's wrong with that? Why is that a problem?

[zengirl]

You see what just happened there, mr dream?

 

Look, many of the responses by females here in this thread are trying to mold you into something they themselves may desire. It really has nothing to do with you at all.

 

Just be real and stay true to yourself. Unless, of course you want to be a doormat.

 

Changing to get better results does not make you a doormat. Of course, if he did anything ONLY because people on the internet told him to that'd be silly. He needs to experiment with changes to filter out the women he doesn't want, improve himself, and attract quality women he claims to want. But not for any of us.

 

Honestly, I have the man I want. I don't need to 'mold' men into things. I don't care what other men do, but if someone says, "My love life isn't working!," then I'll try to help with what advice I can.

 

So arrogance and pride being my main issues. Where do you begin? It's like, ingrained within me. I'm not a douchebag walk around tell everyone how they lack in comparison type, but is it prideful and arrogant to just know where you stand?

 

Someone mentioned me leaving when women I'm involved with want to argue or pick at small things that'll only lead to an argument. What's wrong with that? Why is that a problem?

 

Are you happy?

 

If you're not happy, that's why it's a problem. If you're not happy, consistently, and getting the same results, consistently, your attitudes and values in this area are a problem.

 

If you're happy with your love life, keep on chugging. But don't expect the results to change if you don't -- and I mean significant change. That's just life.

[sally4sara]

You see what just happened there, mr dream?

 

 

 

 

Look, many of the responses by females here in this thread are trying to mold you into something they themselves may desire. It really has nothing to do with you at all.

 

Just be real and stay true to yourself. Unless, of course you want to be a doormat.

 

Yes, how terrible of anyone to point out that if all he invests in is his exterior - when that shrivels up and goes gray, so will all his worth.

 

This isn't advise to someone to make them valuable TO ME. It is advise so that they can be and continue to be valuable to themselves at any point in their life. If all a person strives for is the approval of others via their appearance, their worth is always fluctuating based on the opinion of people who don't even really know them. Why give strangers that much control over your self esteem?

 

Sure, right now he does the same to everyone else that he squirms about being done to him. And yeah, he judges people harshly for behavior he tries to feel empowered by doing himself. Clearly its not working or he wouldn't be here complaining about it. He doesn't like being discredited the way he discredits others - thought he would be spared. He is wondering why he is being viewed as a low commodity when it should be obvious to him. And all anyone is telling him is that's how it goes when you run in the fast food crowd. You're just another burger no matter how pretty the wrapping.

[NoLongerSad]

So arrogance and pride being my main issues. Where do you begin? It's like, ingrained within me. I'm not a douchebag walk around tell everyone how they lack in comparison type, but is it prideful and arrogant to just know where you stand?

 

Someone mentioned me leaving when women I'm involved with want to argue or pick at small things that'll only lead to an argument. What's wrong with that? Why is that a problem?

 

 

I can see your underwear in the fifth picture.

 

For starters, I suggest getting better-fitting clothing as your initial self-improvement measure.

[mr.dream merchant]

Changing to get better results does not make you a doormat. Of course, if he did anything ONLY because people on the internet told him to that'd be silly. He needs to experiment with changes to filter out the women he doesn't want, improve himself, and attract quality women he claims to want. But not for any of us.

 

Honestly, I have the man I want. I don't need to 'mold' men into things. I don't care what other men do, but if someone says, "My love life isn't working!," then I'll try to help with what advice I can.

 

 

 

Are you happy?

 

If you're not happy, that's why it's a problem. If you're not happy, consistently, and getting the same results, consistently, your attitudes and values in this area are a problem.

 

If you're happy with your love life, keep on chugging. But don't expect the results to change if you don't -- and I mean significant change. That's just life.

 

 

No I am not happy. Lonely is the word. And when lonely comes around, second guessing one's self is right behind it. All the who's, why's, what's and how's..

 

Guys who look like me don't have these problems with women. ****, guys who look worse than me don't have these issues with women. So what is going wrong, and why?

 

All of the women since my breakup with my ex...they all don't fit into my lifestyle. I'm not a wild and crazy party boy let's drink 4 5 Four Lokos to the head and hit the club every damn weekend kind of guy. Weekends, I like to lounge around. Hit up a pool spot, bowling alley, movies, moonlight, dinner...take things easy and slow.

 

That coupled with me being "arrogant, cocky, immature"...**** just doesn't work with young beautiful women. Cause out here, all the young beautiful women want to do is party, and have fun. None of which are wrong, but party? I do that in moderation. Have fun? For me that means "chill".

 

Arrogant? Yeah a little. Cocky? Not so sure. Immature? How?

 

When it comes to women, I like to play it safe man. So I gather what's possible about said woman of my interest, and then make a judgement call - Is the risk factor here too great? Call it like I see it, she's got on leggings and a lot of cleavage showing, attention whore? She parties all the time, and likes to get trashed? Hmm okay, that's a liability if my feelings were to get involved.

 

Is that immature? To analyze and make that call? Always figured it was a way of deciding if it's going to be a good investment or not. Mingling with people and having fun is one thing, but when emotions and LTR's come into play, it's not something to be foolish with.

 

This last girl, the one who disappeared on me...she was always telling me how I'm immature for this, immature for that. But, isn't it ironic that she couldn't be the bigger person towards the end? Maybe she was projecting. I thought I kept **** pretty mature. Didn't judge her even though her resume was looking pretty ****ing ****ty. When we went out, I was always the level headed one. Ahhh, I just don't get it. I don't see how I'm immature, that's why I'm looking for a women's point of view.

 

It seems like, when something doesn't agree with their personal tastes, it's either immature, insecure, or *******. So **** it, I give up. All I've got to work on is being humble, and keeping these South Beach type pics to privacy. As far as immaturity goes, I don't think I'm immature at all. I just have standards.

 

And you know what, that's probably the issue. All these women, they all don't even meet my standards. But because women always beat it into my head that I'm being judgemental and immature, I always decide to dip into that barrel, and give these women a chance. And I always come out.....disappointed, and a bit shorter on time, energy, and money.

 

Average Joe is right. Only thing I'm guilty of is not being HARD enough on these girls out here.

 

And Sally4Sara you're kind of correct. But the attitude I have now is, if a woman doesn't want me, **** it. What she won't do, 5 other women will easy. And just because I have prospects, doesn't mean I utilize them. To be quite honest, easy broads, booze whores.....that ship has sailed for me. They weren't dating material before, they're not even NSA sex material anymore. All they are to me now is a mound of coal that I have to somehow manage my way through to get to that one who's worth it, the diamond.

 

 

Where to start?

 

First, the ego has to come down a bit. Been working on being humble for awhile now, and it's coming along quite well.

 

Second, not being so judgemental. Ahhh, can't make any promises on that, but if it walks like a tramp and talks like a tramp, then she's a tramp (have to play it smart and safe)...but besides the obvious, every woman gets the benefit of a doubt. BUT...if all they keep telling me how hot I am, and how hot my arms look in my tee, or etc...red flags will be duely noted.

 

Third, no more shirtless, revealing pics. All of them are private on FB.

 

Fourth, I need to stick to my guns on my standards as far as women go. Cannot let loneliness coerce me into having relations with women who do not meet them. (last girl - perfect example, saw pics of other guys on her phone when she was showing me her pics for ****s sake).

[deebeechrisyo]

I really think that it's in a guy's best interests to screw around in his early 20's, and then find a nice girl for an LTR after he's 25. The reason being: girls in their early 20's just want to party. I keep reading where men and women of similar attractiveness will mate, and you are attracting the hotties who's sole directive in life right now is to have fun.

 

Girls probably aren't taking you seriously as a long term guy either, being good looking and pretty muscular. They will assume that you are a player.

 

I think you should just ride the storm, and try not to get attached to any of these young girls. I didn't have my first real relationship until I was 26. Before that, it was lots of flings in college and several "relationships" that lasted weeks to a month or two.

[deebeechrisyo]

And Sally4Sara you're kind of correct. But the attitude I have now is, if a woman doesn't want me, **** it. What she won't do, 5 other women will easy. And just because I have prospects, doesn't mean I utilize them. To be quite honest, easy broads, booze whores.....that ship has sailed for me. They weren't dating material before, they're not even NSA sex material anymore. All they are to me now is a mound of coal that I have to somehow manage my way through to get to that one who's worth it, the diamond.

 

Ah I missed this part. You have a great head on your shoulders, most guys your age will climb mountains to get laid with some random hot party girl. Since you want something meaningful, maybe try meeting some older girls. You won't meet them in the usual college spots, but house parties outside campus have lots of girls 25 and up that will welcome a good looking guy who wants an LTR.

[zengirl]

Guys who look like me don't have these problems with women. ****, guys who look worse than me don't have these issues with women. So what is going wrong, and why?

 

Guys who act the way you post on here do and always will. That's what I've seen. Party girls flock to those guys. Quality women stay away. I promise you, there are beautiful women your age interested in more than having fun---quality girls who aren't attention whores or fooling around. They just aren't interested in it with you. They can smell you coming a mile away. Men may not believe that, but quality girls keep their standards high for a reason. And it's not just about your abs.

 

When it comes to women, I like to play it safe man. So I gather what's possible about said woman of my interest, and then make a judgement call - Is the risk factor here too great? Call it like I see it, she's got on leggings and a lot of cleavage showing, attention whore? She parties all the time, and likes to get trashed? Hmm okay, that's a liability if my feelings were to get involved.

 

Is that immature? To analyze and make that call? Always figured it was a way of deciding if it's going to be a good investment or not. Mingling with people and having fun is one thing, but when emotions and LTR's come into play, it's not something to be foolish with.

 

The way you make it is immature. Now knowing what you want in a woman and deciding that you're going to wait for it -- because it's what will make you happy -- that's awesome. But it's not about how lacking they are or about where people "stack up" against you. It's about what works for you and what's right. People aren't "liabilities" and "assets." The language you use is quite transactional, and that seems very immature to me.

 

It seems like, when something doesn't agree with their personal tastes, it's either immature, insecure, or *******. So **** it, I give up. All I've got to work on is being humble, and keeping these South Beach type pics to privacy. As far as immaturity goes, I don't think I'm immature at all. I just have standards.

 

I think you're immature because of the way you speak about things. It belies an attitude that I find to be extremely narrow and limited, thus immature. And that attitude doesn't appear to be working for you, yet you cling to it. That seems immature and ignorant to me.

 

But, I will say: You are young, too, and my boyfriend is always saying I never really got to be young from the stories I tell, so maybe my maturity standards are high.

 

And you know what, that's probably the issue. All these women, they all don't even meet my standards. But because women always beat it into my head that I'm being judgemental and immature, I always decide to dip into that barrel, and give these women a chance. And I always come out.....disappointed, and a bit shorter on time, energy, and money.

 

Mature view of this: "All these women don't make me happy and aren't what I want. So I should spend my energy on myself and on finding more quality women."

 

Immature view of this: "Man, I'm the ****, and all these women don't meet my standards, and then they hassle me, and I screw them, sure, but they're worth so much trouble and money and it's all their faults that I'm unhappy because they're just party girl attention whores."

 

Which one is closer to you?

 

Do you see what I'm saying about the reasons showing your values and being important.

[sally4sara]

I just have standards.

 

No you don't because:

 

I always decide to dip into that barrel, and give these women a chance. And I always come out.....disappointed.

They weren't dating material before, they're not even NSA sex material anymore. All they are to me now is a mound of coal that I have to somehow manage my way through to get to that one who's worth it, the diamond.

 

I read "manage my way through" as you being as easy a lay as they were. They didn't play the good girl game and you're only as good a boy as their braking ability holds you to. Now you have just as ****ing ****ty a resume as they do. Why would that diamond girl want your coal dusty ass? Do you think you don't look the part you've been playing?

 

but if it walks like a tramp and talks like a tramp

 

And so do you! I barely BARELY know you and looked at the pics - first thought was Valtrex and Jersey Shore! I'm not even as "good girl" as you'd prefer a girl be and I wouldn't have even said hello back to a guy with the image you're floating back when I was single!

 

 

BUT...if all they keep telling me how hot I am, and how hot my arms look in my tee, or etc...red flags will be duely noted.

 

And yet that is exactly what you funnel your efforts into and want noticed.

 

Fourth, I need to stick to my guns on my standards as far as women go.

 

How about living up to them as your fourth conclusion? Why would anyone who does live up to those standards want to be with someone who doesn't? If they could accept that about you, the standards you want them to have wouldn't be so serious to them to really be a standard. At best, they'd be someone who's standards are as good as life is going for them at the moment. One nasty personal blow and they'd have all the excuse in the world to act out.

You're lonely because you have no one that measures up to those standards. And you don't have that person because no one with those standards would enjoy your resume unless they were slumming or super charitable.

 

You're learning a life lesson. You will likely end up with someone who has also learned that lesson the same way you had to.

[dispatch3d]

Do you have any negative views on women that you think are holding yourself back? The most prevailing one seems to be this notion that girls you view as "slutty" aren't worthy of relationships.

 

I don't mention this because I think you're right or wrong. I mean, I could care less whether you're right or wrong. I mention it because I know the more barriers/demands a particular person has on all the people he hangs out with, the more difficult it is to be friends with them. Coincidentally, those people don't have nearly as many friends as the ones who are more accepting. It makes sense, people get pissed when someone crosses their boundaries. If a person has a lot of boundaries, they are going to be pissed really often (which would suck). I'd assume since you are reasonably good with women you don't have that many boundaries, but what do I know.

 

If you want to lower your ego buddhism would be a pretty natural way to go. Afterall, it's all about transcendence of the ego. I am a buddhist tho, so take my own spiritual views with a grain of salt. I by no means am trying to convert you or anything. I think you have to figure out your own solutions to this stuff.

[dispatch3d]

On handling arguements.

 

Buddhism does speak of this a bit too. I mean, you would never get in an argument with a Buddhist monk no matter how hard you tried. Doesn't mean you couldn't offend them, piss them off, make them angry, etc. They could even fight you and still stick with their beliefs.

 

I can't really speak to this situations. Suppose you do some action/say some thing that makes another person angry. I generally first notice it by myself feeling pissed about something. I just stay quiet and feel the emotion for a bit. I prefer to be totally absolved of whatever emotion I'm feeling before I comment. I really really hate when I snap back at someone, I always apologize immediately if I start arguing. Just hear their side of their argument, and agree with them until they calm down. Then once they are calm lay out your side of the issues at hand, and see if you can come to an agreement on some level. Or just agree to have different views. Doesn't mean let them have their way or anything, just be understanding of the other persons feelings and have some compassion for the fact you were ultimately responsible for making them angry (whether they are justified in their anger or not).

[zengirl]

On handling arguements.

 

Buddhism does speak of this a bit too. I mean, you would never get in an argument with a Buddhist monk no matter how hard you tried. Doesn't mean you couldn't offend them, piss them off, make them angry, etc. They could even fight you and still stick with their beliefs.

 

You and I have disagreed quite a bit in the past, dispatch3d, but I think a lot of your advice in those last 2 posts is spot-on.

 

I have spent time in Buddhist retreats, and monks will tell you they are fully capable of anger, even rage, and yes, to a degree, some will even 'argue' but not really, as you point out. I wouldn't say Buddhism is the only way, but I agree that it's a great way to reflect on yourself and what's working for you and what isn't, which is really what a conversation (argument especially) with a monk will do. Depending on the sect, a lot of Buddhism is actually a bit debate-y. I find koans to be quite a bit like debate, myself, so it's not that there is no conflict or arguing, just that there's no arguing with what IS. If someone is angry, or doing something you dislike, or whatever, then you have to accept it. That doesn't mean you can't seek to change either your reaction to it, your proximity to it, or something else you have control over, but accept first, then work for change. It's an interesting process---and hard to explain.

 

The thing with big arguments is, Who needs the drama? If you're looking for someone who doesn't bring drama, then you can't either. The people who don't bring it, they don't want it.

 

Anyway, I mostly just wanted to say you made quite a few good points, in my opinion.

Edited December 25, 2010 by zengirl

[dispatch3d]

You and I have disagreed quite a bit in the past, dispatch3d, but I think a lot of your advice in those last 2 posts is spot-on.

 

I have spent time in Buddhist retreats, and monks will tell you they are fully capable of anger, even rage, and yes, to a degree, some will even 'argue' but not really, as you point out. I wouldn't say Buddhism is the only way, but I agree that it's a great way to reflect on yourself and what's working for you and what isn't, which is really what a conversation (argument especially) with a monk will do. Depending on the sect, a lot of Buddhism is actually a bit debate-y. I find koans to be quite a bit like debate, myself, so it's not that there is no conflict or arguing, just that there's no arguing with what IS. If someone is angry, or doing something you dislike, or whatever, then you have to accept it. That doesn't mean you can't seek to change either your reaction to it, your proximity to it, or something else you have control over, but accept first, then work for change. It's an interesting process---and hard to explain.

 

The thing with big arguments is, Who needs the drama? If you're looking for someone who doesn't bring drama, then you can't either. The people who don't bring it, they don't want it.

 

Anyway, I mostly just wanted to say you made quite a few good points, in my opinion.

 

The Buddha actually regularly urged his "disciples" - I think that's a bad term but anyways - to argue with him. I'm sure he didn't believe in master/student relationships, and I completely agree. So I guess you're right, a buddhist would argue with another person, but in a completely different way than is accustomed by everyone. I watched a documentary on it and I could actually tell who just read the stuff and "presented" the beliefs and those that actually followed it by the way they talked about buddhism.

 

I can't say whether the op's way of dealing with arguments is either helping or hurting him. It seems like if the majority of your breakups are happening after "arguments" then to me that would be the problem. I actually watched a documentary on emotions, and they were saying that a couples ability to resolve conflicts ultimately determines whether they can stay together or not. I can't remember the name of the documentary though, I don't like to pass on wishy-washy ideas like that (like the phone game you play to fully let people know how warped things can come out).

[Clem972]

Being alone on Christmas eve can be a drag. Especially, when I take into account the streak of rejection that developed over the past year. So, if any of y'all are in a similar spot, this video really cheered me up.

 

It's a documentary about some dude trying to pick up girls at the horse track. It's pretty funny in some spots.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlCVmMzFYEw

[mr.dream merchant]

I don't really have negative views of women. I keep it pretty straightforward. If a girl is easy, unless I'm looking for an easy lay, I don't want anything to do with her. It's that simple, cut and dry.

 

For me to take a woman serious, in terms of LTR, she's got to have a set of standards, morals, and some self respect. Immature and double standard it may seem, but to me it's playing your cards right, protecting your emotions, your mental and physical health. I've turned down lots of easy women, because they're so easy you can pick up on it in conversation. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to sleep with them lol..

 

Am I an easy guy? Hell no. ****, sometimes I wonder why I'm not out there jumping in every bar/club chick that gives me the green light. All my peers do it, they all encourage me to. But aaaahhh, some reason or another, I feel above that. Just not my style. I don't get any satisfaction out of laying a girl who openly makes her body someone elses for no more than good conversation and a week's worth of knowing said person.

 

As far as the arguments go. My ex was very argumentative, if she didn't get her way she was very bitchy. This last woman I was involved with, it's hard to say. She knew I didn't want to talk about things, but instead of respect my stance, she just challenged it, and upon further declines from me, she'd get upset...tell me all the reasons why I wouldn't talk about it, why I'm immature, why her and I couldn't work...blah blah blah. Looking back on it, who cares? Lol, she appeared to be a catch, but now I can see alot of her flaws, red flags, and lack of maturity/character - ****ty resume.

[sally4sara]

I don't really have negative views of women. I keep it pretty straightforward. If a girl is easy, unless I'm looking for an easy lay, I don't want anything to do with her. It's that simple, cut and dry.

 

It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to sleep with them lol..

 

Am I an easy guy?

 

You are when it suits you and then when it doesn't, like the women many men men complain about on this site, you pretend to be something you're not. You pretend to not be a stable choice to someone who believes it is wise to:

 

play your cards right, protecting your emotions, your mental and physical health.

 

But you are guilty of all the red flags you look for to define a "tramp". But you say this:

 

Just not my style.

 

But it is, when it suits you. You become a person who:

 

openly makes her body someone elses for no more than good conversation and a week's worth of knowing said person.

 

What works on them works on you too. All they gave you was conversation and that same week of time. And what makes them unworthy to you, makes you unworthy to the people you say you would rather be with.

 

Not to mention that when someone has sex, their body doesn't belong to the person they have sex with. If it did, where are you going to hide your pile of bodies the next time you want to put on airs and pretend to be a good boy?

[zengirl]

sally4sara already went over your hypocrisy in other areas. I'll just add. . .

 

As far as the arguments go. My ex was very argumentative, if she didn't get her way she was very bitchy. This last woman I was involved with, it's hard to say. She knew I didn't want to talk about things, but instead of respect my stance, she just challenged it, and upon further declines from me, she'd get upset...tell me all the reasons why I wouldn't talk about it, why I'm immature, why her and I couldn't work...blah blah blah. Looking back on it, who cares? Lol, she appeared to be a catch, but now I can see alot of her flaws, red flags, and lack of maturity/character - ****ty resume.

 

a) People don't have dating "resumes." Now, you can talk to a person about their past and see what they seem to have learned and who they seem to be, but an employee is a commodity, a life partner --- what you're looking for, theoretically, with LTR dating, if you are dating quality partners --- is not a commodity. They don't have to justify their 'worth' like someone would with a 'resume.' Again, your language continues to show the transactional approach you take to dating.

 

b) "didn't want to talk about things." What on Earth could that be? If you're seriously dating someone, what subject could be off limits?

 

c) If you want a quality woman, she is going to 'challenge' you. That's what quality people do. They challenge you. They're equals. Now, I'm not saying people should be aggressive or shrill, but they should be assertive. If they aren't assertive, they aren't going to be quality in other ways.

[Ross PK]

I wish I had women wanting me for my looks. You just don't know how lucky you've got it!