Taking a poll...what is love? In love?

[runner]

whenever i question it i find myself returning to this

 

 

[runner]

oh and another one !

 

 

(from a guy's POV anyway )

[pandagirl]

Feeling like you are in love is feeling blissful and happy and thinking you've found the perfect person for you. I believe that evolves into real love when those expectations of that person keep on being met, and as long as that happens, those "in love" feelings can stay alive.

 

Loving someone is about committment, trust, being with someone through thick and thin. It's about putting someone before yourself, caring about their happiness and well-being. Thinking they are the bee's knees.

[sumdude]

To me love is a verb. It's giving.. giving someone your time, giving someone your patience, your thoughts and space in your thoughts for them,

 

Giving,

 

A safe place for them to feel free to do, say and be who they really are.

Compliments, support and understanding

Apologies when you've been wrong

You innermost self

The best parts of you

Your unbridled passion

Your material things to share

 

As much as you are capable of giving without losing yourself.

 

And if the giving is reciprocated then you have something amazing... then you might feel "In Love" but that cannot truly be created without the giving of love so they are the same.

 

SO often we think we're in love but are mostly infatuated.. which ain't bad but it's just a passing thing.

Edited December 22, 2010 by sumdude

[LexiB]

Yeah. It's hard to express it to make that distinction without people running to the defense of the "in love" concept because someone is toying with the eternal dream. But I'm not toying with it or downing it. I love it myself. And when it's happening I don't want anyone analyzing it either--it's something that just takes you over and feels sooooooo good ya just want to surrender to it.

 

But as you got it, it is a fragile thing based upon illusion and desire. Real love however is based upon real respect and earned trust. It's nowhere near as fragile. It may not be as "romantic" in the sense that romanticism involves the drama of desire, struggle, uncertainty, chaos and when best, total fulfillment with violins, woodwinds and brass. But it is in hand and not in the bush as the adage goes. It's real--warts and all. You seem to have one in hand. That's a good thing.

 

This entire post...beautifully put Frisky, and my thoughts exactly. Especially the bolded.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

I am so thankful for your guys' posts. Thanks for putting things in such a light for me to understand the difference.

[Feelin Frisky]

This entire post...beautifully put Frisky, and my thoughts exactly. Especially the bolded.

 

Your avatar + a smiley pointed at me = Frisky delight. Thanks, LexiB.

[LexiB]

Your avatar + a smiley pointed at me = Frisky delight. Thanks, LexiB.

 

Hahaha, no problem.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

I think the thing I'm realizing from all of this is that something more tangible and realistic has a better shot at success then the butterflies feeling. Because those fade.

[Eeyore79]

On the contrary; the butterflies feeling is all that distinguishes a friendship from a relationship. If you look for someone who is stable and kind, who you get along with, who would be a faithful and supportive partner... that person will be merely an extremely close friend, like a companion. You will end up in a boring passionless relationship, and will probably end up running off with someone else who does make you feel those sparks.

 

Bottom line: If you don't feel excited by a person and don't want to rub your bits against their bits, all you have is a friendship, not a romantic relationship. A romantic relationship necessarily includes an element of lust and attraction.

[zengirl]

Maybe I'm the minority, but I don't make the distinction between "loving" someone and being "in love." To me, love is always a choice. I choose to love my boyfriend, I choose to love freely, I choose to express my love, and I choose to be in love with him. I choose all these things because it feels natural, right, because he reciprocates, because we make each other happy, and because I want to jump him most of the time. And for so many other reasons!

 

Like others have said, being around the person I love makes me calm and happy. I feel more at peace and whole. Though just being with him -- even not in proximity, but knowing I have the security of him loving me and me loving him -- makes me happy and more peaceful, too. We're still in the lovely chemical infatuation stage, too, so we've got that whirlwind going for us. I'm pretty sure I love him, beyond that, and pretty sure he feels the same for me, because we both deeply appreciate each other on so many fundamental levels. And we connect completely.

 

Sexual intimacy is a good way to judge that, for me. There is a certain intimacy and closeness that makes loving sex just. . . different. But there are other times you feel that flash of love.

 

And, honestly, the love is multi-dimensional. The love I feel during amazingly intense sex is the same love I feel when I rush to the store to get him medicine and ginger ale when he has food poisoning and set up a nice spot in the bathroom for him because he wants to sleep it off there, but it doesn't feel the same at both points. I'm not expressing it the same way, and I'm seeing a different side of it.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

I like Eeyore's bit about one wanting to rub "your bits against their bits." For example I am attracted to my man very much but sex has never been the primary focus of our relationship. This is rare for me because I have had relationships where sex is pretty much it and everything else is secondary. With this, we have sex a few times a week but I am finding the way we look at each other, the way we hug, hold each others' gazes, snuggle at night, and the conversations to be more important to me. Do I want to jump his bones every second? No. But I'm finding with us the spark that was there to begin with is a slowly growing flame. Rather than an instant, "Oh my god I have to do him NOW," kind of feeling. Bad? No. Different than some? Probably. I just love the calmness I feel with him.

[lois_80]

I'm not sure if love is definable.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Hey, that's another great point! You might be right. Maybe for everyone it's different.

[Mary3]

true love is truly tappin' dat ass; like regularly; talkin 5 times a week here people... maybe 6.

 

fin.

 

You mean 5 times a day ?

[Loquacious Miss L.]

No LS post would be complete if not rife with humor;)