Questionable1 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I know it varies, but generally speaking, how long will a guy who only wants sex stick around after you guys have sex? The last guy I dated used me for his rebound and sex purposes. We had sex approx 2 weeks after our first date and every date we had thereafter we had sex. During one date I said I didn't want to do anything sexual that night and less than 48 hours after that he got rid of me. I'm not sure if that's coincidental or not. Either way, we dated for a total of 1 month, meaning he stuck around for an additional 2 weeks once we started having sex. The guy that I'm dating right now didn't have sex with me until 5 weeks after our first date. The next date that we went on didn't involve sex at all. At first I was slightly offended because I thought he didn't enjoy having sex with me. But now I'm wondering if he didn't want to have sex because he doesn't want to make it a habit on every date. I really like this guy and I'm hoping that he's unlike the last one I dated. But there's this fear deep down inside me that he'll be like the last guy and dump me after he gets his share of sex.
bayouboi Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 If you're only seeing each other once or twice a week and he's only seeing you, I don't think it's unreasonable to desire to have sex when he sees you.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Usually the best way to know is by telling a guy at the very beginning that you're looking for an LTR. That always informs a guy that you're not into casual sex. I've been with guys who are very straightforward about their intentions and guys who are extremely dismissive when it comes to what is it they're looking for when they're dating. Normally, men who who are after sex tend to go overboard on the compliments, or they play it smooth and suave until they bed you. You cannot moniter a guy's behavior but you can listen to your intuitions if certain alarms start going off. Follow your own standards- if you're not looking for purely sex, don't indulge in sex on the first date.
Author Questionable1 Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Usually the best way to know is by telling a guy at the very beginning that you're looking for an LTR. That always informs a guy that you're not into casual sex. I've been with guys who are very straightforward about their intentions and guys who are extremely dismissive when it comes to what is it they're looking for when they're dating. Normally, men who who are after sex tend to go overboard on the compliments, or they play it smooth and suave until they bed you. You cannot moniter a guy's behavior but you can listen to your intuitions if certain alarms start going off. Follow your own standards- if you're not looking for purely sex, don't indulge in sex on the first date.I'll definitely agree with you regarding the compliments, etc. The last guy was very charming, bought me a present to give to me on our 3rd date, but a couple of days after we first had sex, he pulled a complete 180. He started to talk about all these things that he didn't like about me, how he didn't click with me compared to previous girls, and how I made him feel weird when he was around me. Oh, and when he would spend the night, he wanted me to sleep in the bed without touching him or being near him. Wtf? I obviously now know that those were red flags. The current guy has explicitly stated that he's looking for something serious, however he's not going to rush and hurry things. He never went overboard with the compliments. Does it sound like he's more likely in it for the long haul compared to the previous guy?
carhill Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 IMO, if he's LTR potential, intimacy will progress, even if not sexually expressed each time. Something to note is how he approaches intimacy and non-sexual affection and see how that matches up with your style. If you think that his not approaching you in a sexual way all the time equals lack of interest, then you may be incompatible in that way. This presumes he is consistently physically affectionate and continues to build emotional intimacy with you. Relationships are a process. 'When we're together and feel affectionate and it doesn't progress to sex, how do you feel?' Communication
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 If he is acting in a way that fits your fantasy, then he is just playing you. I know its not like you are gonna listen. Women would rather enjoy living a fantasy even if it wouldnt last.
AverageJoe Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Answer in regards to the topic. Three strikes your out.
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