To everyone in an Affair

[desertIslandCactus]

Really, IMHO bitter and angry are not the emotions of the betrayed. It shows in more OW/OM posts than i have personally ever seen in the betrayed.

 

Years after attending all of the command performances of their father and the OW, my sons told me every time they had gone up there - my xH and the OW were meanmouthing me. Nothing like unhappy winners ..

[desertIslandCactus]

I hope with time I will be able to heal and forgive myself, and move on. <sigh> I was almost 3 years in the A. I hope it doesn't take 3 years to recover. But right now it feels like it might.

 

I don't think I ever actually forgave myself .. Just consider it as one of the many mistakes I've made in life.. Mine was for a few years..

 

Honestly I just think if we're lucky enough to walk away and find ourselves again (the same strong independent woman as before) .. then we're lucky enough.

 

Lesson learned, on my part ..

[Ladyblue]

And be rude and obnoxious to posters who don't go along with the "agenda"...

 

I've received the brunt of rude and obnoxious because I'm hurt and trying to heal, and I'm talking about it openly, and I'm not aligning with someone's "agenda." So far on the forum, I've been belittled and talked down to as badly as if I were a wretched BS.

 

I have also received much and greatly appreciated support and encoragement from many posters "in all camps."

 

It's a shame everything has to turn into factions.

 

I am on other non-LS boards that have nothing to do with affairs. There is NONE of this sort of slamming and bitch-slapping going on. Even during the most controversial discussions. We can all disagree on one thread, and all agree on the next one.

 

This place is an animal unto itself.

[Ladyblue]

I don't think I ever actually forgave myself .. Just consider it as one of the many mistakes I've made in life.. Mine was for a few years..

 

Honestly I just think if we're lucky enough to walk away and find ourselves again (the same strong independent woman as before) .. then we're lucky enough.

 

Lesson learned, on my part ..

 

Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I was writing that. I don't know that I'll ever totally get over what I did.

 

I do hope I will come to terms with some sort of acceptance, though.

[Ladyblue]

]At least you're honest and admit you're here for entertainment' date=' of the kind like people in ancient Rome watched others being killed on stage.[/b']

 

Most cannot bring themselves to show such transparency and insist they are here for a good cause.

 

Huh? WTF? Bit dramatic are we? I'm pretty sure no blood and guts were spilled in the posting of any messages.

Edited January 24, 2011 by Ladyblue

[thomasb]

I don't think I ever actually forgave myself .. Just consider it as one of the many mistakes I've made in life.. Mine was for a few years..

 

Honestly I just think if we're lucky enough to walk away and find ourselves again (the same strong independent woman as before) .. then we're lucky enough.

 

Lesson learned, on my part ..

 

 

I think it has taken more time for me to forgive myself than for my dear wife to forgive me. It took a long time to not feel like scum of the earth every time I thought about the OW and what I did to my family.

[desertIslandCactus]

I think it has taken more time for me to forgive myself than for my dear wife to forgive me. It took a long time to not feel like scum of the earth every time I thought about the OW and what I did to my family.

 

I am so sorry.

 

People these days take the easy road, with divorce when a spouse has been unfaithful .. or the difficult road with divorce, when attracted to another ..

 

But I believe that God will definitely bless Both you and your spouse for your faith, loyalty, and righteousness.

[NoIDidn't]

At least you're honest and admit you're here for entertainment, of the kind like people in ancient Rome watched others being killed on stage.

 

Most cannot bring themselves to show such transparency and insist they are here for a good cause.

 

Huh? WTF? Bit dramatic are we? I'm pretty sure no blood and guts were spilled in the posting of any messages.

 

It is pretty funny the analogies that have popped up today. Romeo and Juliet. And now ancient Rome.

 

Comparing an affair to a "Tragedy" and a violent death.

 

Too funny.

[bentnotbroken]

I am so sorry.

 

People these days take the easy road, with divorce when a spouse has been unfaithful .. or the difficult road with divorce, when attracted to another ..

 

But I believe that God will definitely bless Both you and your spouse for your faith, loyalty, and righteousness.

 

 

Nothing easy about it at all. Not one thing.

[donnamaybe]

Since others have posted about their NON-affair lover, it must be okay for me to post about mine here.

 

My man is SOOOO good to me and my son. Yesterday it was very windy, and by the time we'd gotten home from shopping, the wind had blown quite a bit of snow into our 1/8 mile long driveway. My baby was out at 6:00 this a.m. snowblowing the driveway. He also started my car for me and warmed it up.

 

I'm SO lucky he's mine all mine and with me every moment (except when we're at work).

[Ladyblue]

Since others have posted about their NON-affair lover, it must be okay for me to post about mine here.

 

My man is SOOOO good to me and my son. Yesterday it was very windy, and by the time we'd gotten home from shopping, the wind had blown quite a bit of snow into our 1/8 mile long driveway. My baby was out at 6:00 this a.m. snowblowing the driveway. He also started my car for me and warmed it up.

 

I'm SO lucky he's mine all mine and with me every moment (except when we're at work).

 

This is what I want! (The loving man that loves only me - not the snowblower )

[donnamaybe]

This is what I want! (The loving man that loves only me - not the snowblower )

And you have every right to expect it - and demand it!

[Mimolicious]

I must say ... I have just joined the Lady Blue fan club. She is one smart sassy lady.

[Ellin]

It is pretty funny the analogies that have popped up today. Romeo and Juliet. And now ancient Rome.

 

Comparing an affair to a "Tragedy" and a violent death.

 

Too funny.

 

Maybe because it was intended as a joke.

[NoIDidn't]

Maybe because it was intended as a joke.

 

It certainly was funny!

[GreenEyedLady]

Maybe because it was intended as a joke.

 

That would require having a sense of humor and from what I've seen, the majority of posters are sadly lacking in that area.

 

GEL

[herenow]

That would require having a sense of humor and from what I've seen, the majority of posters are sadly lacking in that area.

 

GEL

 

Wow GEL, something bothering you tonight? You seem so, well, angry and bitter. I'm worried about you. Is everything OK?

[NoIDidn't]

Wow GEL, something bothering you tonight? You seem so, well, angry and bitter. I'm worried about you. Is everything OK?

 

Tonight? Just "tonight"?

[herenow]

Tonight? Just "tonight"?

 

Guess I haven't been here much or paid much attention if this is how she is all the time.

 

Really, GEL, what's up? I remember you from way back and your were so much fun and so helpful. You were able to speak to both sides without such anger. Why so different now? NID, do you remember those days?

Edited January 25, 2011 by herenow

[AngeletteX]

Getting back to the OP:

 

I will answer as I am involved with a committed partner, he's just committed to me...

 

There are many things I love about him but I would have to say that the thing I adore about my H most is that he can make me laugh no matter how sad or mad I am and when he kisses me all the clouds are chased away...

 

GEL

 

Thank you GEL for keep this thread on topic! Isn't it wonderful when they can make you laugh? Especially under sad/mad circumstances? Mine's like that too...

 

You don't sound angry or bitter to me at all. Must be all the kisses you get! Proving my theory: happy people are happy for others....

[AngeletteX]

Although, he has left and now we are committed to each other, a previous post mentioned the idea that affairs are all sex, stolen seconds, etc.

 

Ours, for the short duration it lasted, was certainly not like that. We spent a lot of time together, and most of it not in bed. We went grocery shopping together, we went to movies, we went to restaurants, we went to the park, he made me dinner at his place (his place by himself, not the residence he shared with his ex.) We talked, and talked, and talked. It was mostly like any other relationship.

 

Not that the sex wasn't great

 

TinaniT - much appreciation for this response! Thank you for letting people know how "normal" the relationship can be. People really have no clue.

[LifesontheUp]

TinaniT - much appreciation for this response! Thank you for letting people know how "normal" the relationship can be. People really have no clue.

 

Normal? So AngeletteX, you go to his family get togethers instead of his wife? You go to his works parties with him instead of his wife? All his family and friends know and have met you?

 

And finally.....................his wife has met you too? So this isn't some secret affair?

[desertIslandCactus]

Normal? So AngeletteX, you go to his family get togethers instead of his wife? You go to his works parties with him instead of his wife? All his family and friends know and have met you?

 

And finally.....................his wife has met you too? So this isn't some secret affair?

 

Normal - as in: pretending.

[WTFBBQ]

Normal - as in: pretending.

Like 8 year olds playing house? And then come to LoveShack and crow about how gooooooood it was. While dude is back at home playing real house with wifey. Being an OW must take alot of imagination.

[Ellin]

Like 8 year olds playing house? And then come to LoveShack and crow about how gooooooood it was. While dude is back at home playing real house with wifey. Being an OW must take alot of imagination.

 

Good choice of word.