befreckled Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I'm due to see my potential partner in less than 2 weeks. He leaves the US tomorrow, he will be heading back home for Christmas. Understandably, he isn't packed or anything so today he was insanely busy packing and doing all the last minute stuff so we didn't get to chat online. We will most likely not be able to chat at all until I head there because well, he is with family etc. It isn't something we talked about and part of it stems from that fact that we aren't together yet and therefore the idea of me being very insecure and needed re-assurance is not all that attractive. Lately, I've been fearing that we "over" communicate. We talk everyday almost on chat and at least once a week over skype or on the phone. Because we aren't a couple yet and I worry that I might be coming on too strong. I just need a hug or him to tell me that it's all ok and he is looking forward to seeing me.
creighton0123 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 / hug Well, I hope you have a good two weeks. When in person, perhaps it's a good time to settle what the two of you are interested in and whether you both want to be in a long distance, long term relationship.
CandyHeart Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 This will be the best time to communicate with him to see where you both stand and to see what you both want. Keep us updated.
folieadeux Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I'm due to see my potential partner in less than 2 weeks. He leaves the US tomorrow, he will be heading back home for Christmas. Understandably, he isn't packed or anything so today he was insanely busy packing and doing all the last minute stuff so we didn't get to chat online. We will most likely not be able to chat at all until I head there because well, he is with family etc. It isn't something we talked about and part of it stems from that fact that we aren't together yet and therefore the idea of me being very insecure and needed re-assurance is not all that attractive. Lately, I've been fearing that we "over" communicate. We talk everyday almost on chat and at least once a week over skype or on the phone. Because we aren't a couple yet and I worry that I might be coming on too strong. I just need a hug or him to tell me that it's all ok and he is looking forward to seeing me. *hugs* I know it's frustrating as all hell, but I wouldn't stress about this too too much until you both have the chance to sit down and establish where you are in your relationship. After that, everything else will just fall into place. I really don't believe there's such a thing as over-communicating. What works for you guys as a couple may not work for another couple and vice-versa. You just have to figure out something that works for you both. My SO and I definitely speak more than the "average" couple I feel. We text literally all day and speak to each other on the phone usually before and after work, during our lunch breaks, and before bed. This level of contact might seem excessive to some people, but it works for us and was something that was never discussed. That was the routine we fell into and are most comfortable with and that's all that really matters. We try to squeeze all our communication in during the week especially as my boyfriend is out playing shows most weekends and we aren't able to speak as much. Being in a long distance relationship requires that you are in regular contact alot to make up for the time you spend apart. Best of luck and keep us updated!
Author befreckled Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 / hug Well, I hope you have a good two weeks. When in person, perhaps it's a good time to settle what the two of you are interested in and whether you both want to be in a long distance, long term relationship. Thanks so much! I really needed that. That's exactly what we are going on this trip for. If we can't travel together, there's a good chance we won't work out as a couple, long distance or otherwise. I really don't believe there's such a thing as over-communicating. Part of me is just worried that he might be disinterested because I'm so interested. I don't believe in playing games but I fear that if I show my hand now, there's not much else. I usually initiate contact be it on chat or skype. I peg the ratio at 70%/30%. I know I'm being pedantic!!
folieadeux Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Part of me is just worried that he might be disinterested because I'm so interested. I don't believe in playing games but I fear that if I show my hand now, there's not much else. I usually initiate contact be it on chat or skype. I peg the ratio at 70%/30%. I know I'm being pedantic!! How is he when he responds to you? It's hard to get a gauge on how he's taking this, but I'm sure he's just happy that you're excited to speak to him. If he thought anything negative, I don't think he'd be making all these plans with you. If it still bothers you, you can always try to cut back on the contact level a bit to see if he initiates more. Space in a LDR is a delicate balance for sure...you just have to find what works best for you. Sure, it'd be great if it was 50/50...but I think as women we naturally need to communicate more...so the ratio will always be a bit skewed.
Author befreckled Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 How is he when he responds to you? ...but I think as women we naturally need to communicate more...so the ratio will always be a bit skewed. I totally feel better. You are right, the ratio will always be skewed. He is always happy to hear from me. I did cut back and I think I will while he is home for Christmas because, well we won't be chatting as much anyways and it leaves room for anticipation(as if we needed more)
folieadeux Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I totally feel better. You are right, the ratio will always be skewed. He is always happy to hear from me. I did cut back and I think I will while he is home for Christmas because, well we won't be chatting as much anyways and it leaves room for anticipation(as if we needed more) Glad you're feeling better.
Author befreckled Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 8 days for me. This is so tough. I would have made plans to see him at Christmas but I had a work event and it got cancelled after I booked my flight tickets so I'm actually here during this festive period alone He is with friends having drinks when I texted him and he asked me if I wanted to join him jokingly. I almost burst in tears in the office because, I don't even want to be here and wouldn't have to be if I had waited to book. It's another week. still.
folieadeux Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 8 days for me. This is so tough. I would have made plans to see him at Christmas but I had a work event and it got cancelled after I booked my flight tickets so I'm actually here during this festive period alone He is with friends having drinks when I texted him and he asked me if I wanted to join him jokingly. I almost burst in tears in the office because, I don't even want to be here and wouldn't have to be if I had waited to book. It's another week. still. So sorry to hear this. Do you have any friends/family nearby you can visit with? The 8 days will fly by trust me.
Author befreckled Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 So sorry to hear this. Do you have any friends/family nearby you can visit with? The 8 days will fly by trust me. It aint flying *yet* I went for a work out after that text exchange. I decided after that I wasn't going to pine over what I can't do and concentrate on what I can. I will be heading to a friend's place for Christmas since it's close to home and then I'll start packing for my little trip. A day at a time.
folieadeux Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 It aint flying *yet* I went for a work out after that text exchange. I decided after that I wasn't going to pine over what I can't do and concentrate on what I can. I will be heading to a friend's place for Christmas since it's close to home and then I'll start packing for my little trip. A day at a time. Sounds like a plan. It's definitely good you won't be alone. I'll have my parents with me until my SO gets here, which I'm very thankful for.
Recommended Posts