SCG_Sasa1111 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I was with my ex for 4.5 years..we started dating when we were both 15- we both 20 now. I have spent 2 years of my highschool life with her and almost 3 years of university life. Things were amazing with us, until I had to leave to visit my family back in my country. I went for 15 days and before that we were the closest we have ever been, I would go to her place everyday, I would sleep over, etc etc. She said that she didn't know how she would be able to be without me for 15 days. As it turned out the fact that I was leaving was very hard on both of us, she didn't take it well. She didn't eat, sleep and she became very depressed. However i told her to call me every other day to talk to me and to keep in touch. The day I came back I felt something was different, she was more distant and it seemed like it wasn't the same girl I left behind:S...She became secretive, she didn't let me look at her phone and she kept texting her friend from uni constantly daily. I knew it wasn't right and I told her but she said were just friends. I didn't let it affect me to much because I didn't consider the guy a threat whatsoever I knew she was insanely in love with me. Fast Forward September 2010 comes. University begins and she becomes more and more avoidant. I saw her maybe 2 times entire month. She kept sayin she was busy and what not. I talked to her and told her I can't take this behaviour from you and I broke it off until she started behaving properly. After that intial phase, things just went downhill. She didn't seem to try and fix anything she changed her status on fb to single after a few days of us getting into this argument; and she would always tell me before she thought she had feelings for that guy but I mean I laughed it off and I thought she was joking, she wouldn't do anything to jeporadize this relationship. A month goes by, things are still bad. Turns out she was in the process of getting with him entire time this was going on. I came over to her place late at night after soccer practice and I wanted 2 talk to her, little did I know he was there too. She told me she was busy and she had to walk up in the morning she I couldnt come in. I told her I needed to talk to her and that I coudldn't take this anymore. She wouldn't let me in so i charged through the door and as I did I saw her friend from her university program coming down the stairs from her room. I was completley shocked.. I felt like I was in a movie even after a month I can clearly picture and envision everything in my mind. I did not want to fight the guy especially in her house, that late. She was holding onto me and was infront of us entire time to prevent that either way that wouldn't have solved anything. I took my bag and looked at her in the face and I said to her think about everything we have been through..all the memories and everything that has happened and ask urself was this worth it? I looked at her and walked off the porch back home in the night Fast forward a month..shes with him in a relationship on facebook. I hear my friends telllin me they see them together holding hands. My sister tells me she saw them at the shopping mall together. I just can't get it through my head why this happend? Why did she let this "crush" or whateverr it was do this to our relationship? I mean she is throwing away 4.5 years with me for a nobody?? Like i don't understand this. My family, my friends are all telling me to forget about it shes not worth it. But the pain I have in my chest and the thoughts racing through my head are too strong to ignore. I can't get it through my head this happned. I can't believe she would do this. Everyone I know, even her friends, her sister are sayin she made a huge mistake in leaving me and I just don't realize how she let it get to this?? Plz any advice or anything would help I just need some guidance on what to do. I never wana talk to her or look at her in the face ever again but I miss her so much. Plz excuse the length but I had to get the story out so It made sense in terms of the context. I haven't seen her since the start of November and No contact since Nov. 28 til now:S
HopeisallIhave Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I am in no position to give advice right now as I am in serious pain from a breakup as well even after 3 months. Just know these holidays dont make it any easier and most importantly...YOU ARE NOTALONE. I AM HURTING AT THIS VERY MOMENT. AND I WAS IN A 12 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. Take care.
lost.lamb Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 I'm am very sorry that you had to go through what you did. You see, in this world, not everyone think alike. If I have to guess, I would say that it was probably the distance that separated her feelings for you but if she was faithful to you to begin with, she wouldn't have fallen for the other guy. I just got dumped two days ago and I understand exactly what you're going through. My relationship with my ex was not as long as yours but I even questioned why he would throw away our relationship. Go hang out with friends and family. I find that the more I think of the what-ifs and good times, the harder it is for me to move on. Instead, remind yourself of how she has hurt you and that you deserve better. Everyone tells you that you deserve better and they are right. Did she just cheat on you??? Leave her. She will cheat on you again even if you two get back together.
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