Yer_Blues Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Being desperate is unattractive and I am fully aware of this fact. However, I have recently been contemplating how to come off as less desperate/less available without trying to fake too much confidence or use PUA techniques or any of that ****. A few of you might know a bit about me by this point from my other posts, but I'm 19, have a diagnosed anxiety condition, and am perpetually single. As a lifetime fatty until just recently, I didn't really have the "normal" development process happen for me and inexperience is a problem. I have no proper support structure that I can really lean on. It's embarrassing, but I'm just emotionally and physically desperate most of the time. It's not really a need for approval or reassuring, and I don't think I'm looking for someone else to "complete" me anymore. That's not what this is about. **** external validation. At the same time, I don't know how to go about not appearing desperate, when I am. I'd probably find a way to justify anybody as a partner. I have almost no physical standards, and pretty much would give anybody a chance. And for other guys out there... is there any mindset you get into to stop being so damned horny? It's to the point where it's just frustrating to continue existing.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Being desperate is unattractive and I am fully aware of this fact. However, I have recently been contemplating how to come off as less desperate/less available without trying to fake too much confidence or use PUA techniques or any of that ****. A few of you might know a bit about me by this point from my other posts, but I'm 19, have a diagnosed anxiety condition, and am perpetually single. As a lifetime fatty until just recently, I didn't really have the "normal" development process happen for me and inexperience is a problem. I have no proper support structure that I can really lean on. It's embarrassing, but I'm just emotionally and physically desperate most of the time. It's not really a need for approval or reassuring, and I don't think I'm looking for someone else to "complete" me anymore. That's not what this is about. **** external validation. At the same time, I don't know how to go about not appearing desperate, when I am. I'd probably find a way to justify anybody as a partner. I have almost no physical standards, and pretty much would give anybody a chance. And for other guys out there... is there any mindset you get into to stop being so damned horny? It's to the point where it's just frustrating to continue existing. got guy friends? a social life? hobbies you enjoy & are good at? do tell. I'm going somewhere with this.
oliviahopkins Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Why are you desperate ? Desperate for ? It's normal to desire companionship, but obtain it on your own terms. Write down your pro's and cons and don't deviate from them. You're so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make a bad choice and get involved with the wrong person out of desperation.
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 http://www.fleshlight.com/ When I was a super horny teenager, I used that thing in order to calm my raging hormones. I felt like I got laid a lot even when I was still a virgin. So I felt much less desperate.
Author Yer_Blues Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 got guy friends? a social life? hobbies you enjoy & are good at? do tell. I'm going somewhere with this. Definitely have best friends on the male side and a social life. But this doesn't constitute a support structure. Hobbies? Not in the traditional sense of an activity to be "performed". I love running/casual sports, but I'm currently injured. I listen to hours of music, but that doesn't help. I don't enjoy video games that I used to fill my time so much when I was younger. I'm a college student, but I'm a beast at it. I don't need to try very hard or put in much time to get straight A's. It's not something I find fulfilling. Ready to move on from the mundane life of self-improvement. Not that it's not rewarding, it's just that always focusing on perfecting myself gets old with nobody else in the picture.
Author Yer_Blues Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) Why are you desperate ? Desperate for ? It's normal to desire companionship, but obtain it on your own terms. Write down your pro's and cons and don't deviate from them. You're so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make a bad choice and get involved with the wrong person out of desperation. Companionship, intimacy, sex, mutual support, shared experiences, shared perspective/understanding, and to a lesser extent - fulfillment/validation, a check and balance system to keep me worried about myself/more risk averse, and a support structure that doesn't put unwarranted burden on my friends... I'd get involved with any person who'd get involved with me. I don't have to get married, I just need to break the ice and start working on this process. I need experience as a teacher, not just a superanalytical mind and a lot of time. I guess maybe I have to know what it is like to be with the wrong person, or any person, before I can be with the right person. Edited December 21, 2010 by Yer_Blues
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Definitely have best friends on the male side and a social life. But this doesn't constitute a support structure. Hobbies? Not in the traditional sense of an activity to be "performed". I love running/casual sports, but I'm currently injured. I listen to hours of music, but that doesn't help. I don't enjoy video games that I used to fill my time so much when I was younger. I'm a college student, but I'm a beast at it. I don't need to try very hard or put in much time to get straight A's. It's not something I find fulfilling. Ready to move on from the mundane life of self-improvement. Not that it's not rewarding, it's just that always focusing on perfecting myself gets old with nobody else in the picture. after you recover, I'd recommend rushing a fraternity. a social life such as one you'd experience in a frat environment is pretty damn conducive for yielding what you seek. look into it. happy recovering.
Author Yer_Blues Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 after you recover, I'd recommend rushing a fraternity. a social life such as one you'd experience in a frat environment is pretty damn conducive for yielding what you seek. look into it. happy recovering. I'm in a fraternity already. I joined it because I thought it would be helpful to force myself to be more social and interactive. It definitely has, but it's just not enough. I don't want to be single anymore.
Author Yer_Blues Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 http://www.fleshlight.com/ When I was a super horny teenager, I used that thing in order to calm my raging hormones. I felt like I got laid a lot even when I was still a virgin. So I felt much less desperate. lol theres a thought, a vagina without a brain. IDK though, it seems like its just a different form of masturbation. I don't imagine it would give me much more companionship or listen any better than the hand does
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 lol theres a thought, a vagina without a brain. IDK though, it seems like its just a different form of masturbation. I don't imagine it would give me much more companionship or listen any better than the hand does You are mistaken if you compare it with your hand. Its nearly like the real thing. Give it a try while they are having a 15% discount.
Author Yer_Blues Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 You are mistaken if you compare it with your hand. Its nearly like the real thing. Give it a try while they are having a 15% discount. Yeah, but I don't see the real thing (females) as just a vagina. I'm not horny just for a vagina
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