USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 There's this girl that I've been seeing for the past few weeks. We've only been on two real dates and a handful of gym "dates." But in the past week or so, ever since she finished the semester and started her winter break, things have started to trail off into almost nothing. She had canceled a date for this past weekend and I've hardly heard anything from her since then. She has just been acting very ambivalent about us. She's close with her family, so I assume that she's spending a lot of time with them during the break, which is completely understandable. But at the same time, barring the holiday circumstance, everything would lead me to believe that she's not interested and is just trying to disappear. So when you happen to start seeing someone around the holidays, do you tend to spend more time or less time with them? Or is it dependent on circumstances (e.g., length of time you've been dating, family involvement, prior commitments/plans, etc.)? Should I just wait this one out...?
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 So when you happen to start seeing someone around the holidays, do you tend to spend more time or less time with them? IME, there's more time and attention spent than usual, regardless of the length of time we've been dating.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 IME, there's more time and attention spent than usual, regardless of the length of time we've been dating. I've never actually dated anyone during the holiday months...but that's what I would have thought too...especially given that I'm on vacation for the next two weeks and she's got a month of break...I'm not saying I'd want to spend my whole vacay with her, but one would think that it'd be an opportunity to spend at least a little more time with each other since we certainly won't have it after the new year...
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I've never actually dated anyone during the holiday months...but that's what I would have thought too...especially given that I'm on vacation for the next two weeks and she's got a month of break...I'm not saying I'd want to spend my whole vacay with her, but one would think that it'd be an opportunity to spend at least a little more time with each other since we certainly won't have it after the new year... Presumably she knows all of this? What was her stated reason for cancelling your date? Regardless of one's schedule, nothing impedes communication via text, email, carrier pigeon...
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Presumably she knows all of this? Yes, she knows that I'm completely free for the next two weeks and had wanted to make plans with her for New Years and at least a couple dates up until then. All I've gotten is a "sounds good, I'll let you know..." What was her stated reason for cancelling your date? I didn't ask, and she didn't say. I just told her to let me know when she'd be free to do a make-up date. I know it's a little bit of a weak move on my part, but I feel that if she flakes out, it's up to her to make up for it. Regardless of one's schedule, nothing impedes communication via text, email, carrier pigeon... Agreed. And to be honest, her lack of effort and communication is sending my interest level plummeting...
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Yes, she knows that I'm completely free for the next two weeks and had wanted to make plans with her for New Years and at least a couple dates up until then. All I've gotten is a "sounds good, I'll let you know..." Hmm. When was the last time you heard from her? I didn't ask, and she didn't say. I just told her to let me know when she'd be free to do a make-up date. I know it's a little bit of a weak move on my part, but I feel that if she flakes out, it's up to her to make up for it. You're totally right that if she flakes, she needs to make up for it. But I find it weird that she didn't offer an explanation... Agreed. And to be honest, her lack of effort and communication is sending my interest level plummeting... Perfectly normal reaction. Who wants someone who doesn't want us back? And make it obvious?
johan Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 If it trails off, then the right thing to do is to let it happen. Maybe the chemistry isn't there. Yet. To be honest I'm not sure relationships that start out full steam ahead are destined to be any better than those that don't seem to be going anywhere initially. The worst thing to do is to show you care at this point. I mean don't be a jerk, but also don't get invested either. Maybe in a few weeks she'll wonder what you're up to. She'll be more likely to ring you up if she knows there won't be any pressure. Or maybe there won't. There's no sense in worrying about a woman who doesn't dig you. You'll be wanting one who does.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Hmm. When was the last time you heard from her? I got a text from her Friday night...just sayin' hi, how are you doin' sort...I sent a similar text Saturday night and haven't heard a peep from her since then...but then again, it was just a text... But I find it weird that she didn't offer an explanation... Yea, she just sent me a text early last week saying she couldn't make it...I didn't ask beyond that... Perfectly normal reaction. Who wants someone who doesn't want us back? And make it obvious? Exactly...which is why I'm pretty close to LAUNCH...just thought I'd get the opinions of the wonderful folks at LS...
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 she's likely receiving attention elsewhere, & prefers it. but for sending a witty merry christmas text, I'd let her go until after the new year. the ball's clearly in her court.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 If it trails off, then the right thing to do is to let it happen. Maybe the chemistry isn't there. Yet. To be honest I'm not sure relationships that start out full steam ahead are destined to be any better than those that don't seem to be going anywhere initially. The worst thing to do is to show you care at this point. I mean don't be a jerk, but also don't get invested either. Maybe in a few weeks she'll wonder what you're up to. She'll be more likely to ring you up if she knows there won't be any pressure. Or maybe there won't. There's no sense in worrying about a woman who doesn't dig you. You'll be wanting one who does. Good points, and I agree with you on all. If a girl says she'll let me know, then I'll give her all the time she needs/wants to let me know...but I'm sure I'll stop caring what she does pretty quick...
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I got a text from her Friday night...just sayin' hi, how are you doin' sort...I sent a similar text Saturday night and haven't heard a peep from her since then...but then again, it was just a text... Did she respond?? Exactly...which is why I'm pretty close to LAUNCH...just thought I'd get the opinions of the wonderful folks at LS... Can I ask a huge favor? Quit saying LAUNCH. People aren't objects to be launched. I like Johan's advice. Re-read it.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 she's likely receiving attention elsewhere, & prefers it. but for sending a witty merry christmas text, I'd let her go until after the new year. Perhaps. But to be perfectly honest, if I let her go until after the New Year, there's probably close to a zero percent chance I'll even look back. the ball's clearly in her court. Word.
krz12 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Yes, she knows that I'm completely free for the next two weeks and had wanted to make plans with her for New Years and at least a couple dates up until then. All I've gotten is a "sounds good, I'll let you know..." Isn't a 2 date relationship a bit premature for a New Years' thing?
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Did she respond?? No. Can I ask a huge favor? Quit saying LAUNCH. People aren't objects to be launched. Hahah, but that's my thing... I like Johan's advice. Re-read it. I do too. I'm definitely using it as my game plan...
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Isn't a 2 date relationship a bit premature for a New Years' thing? Well I once did New Years as a first "date" with a girl I met at a wedding the week before... Hmmm...now I have to take back what I said about me never having dated around the holidays...this would be my only experience with it... But maybe you're right...I guess it depends on the significance you place on New Years...for me, it's just like any other night to have fun...
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Hahah, but that's my thing... it is sort of his thing, Star. be cool. ;p
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 No. If I didn't get a response in 48 hours (tonight), I'd have already moved on. But that's just me. Hahah, but that's my thing... But, but... it's annoying! And it has an unnecessary sense of finality to it (finality that I don't believe you're ever really ready to give, FWIW ). Again, refer to Johan's post. I do too. I'm definitely using it as my game plan... Good.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 If I didn't get a response in 48 hours (tonight), I'd have already moved on. But that's just me. You and I both. But I figured I'd ask about it here...and see if the benefit of the doubt is warranted given the holidays... But, but... it's annoying! And it has an unnecessary sense of finality to it (finality that I don't believe you're ever really ready to give, FWIW ). Again, refer to Johan's post. Hahah, fair enough. But that's a good point...
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 You and I both. But I figured I'd ask about it here...and see if the benefit of the doubt is warranted given the holidays... Holidays, exams, busy work schedule, traveling, sick, whatever... barring an unusual crisis or coma, is there ever an excuse not to spend 5 seconds to respond to a text? Do we forget to respond to people we're into? Food for continuous thought.
USCGAviator Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 let her pass man...like a fart in the wind
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 BTW... It's not your ex, is it? The one who mad dogged you at the gym?
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Holidays, exams, busy work schedule, traveling, sick, whatever... barring an unusual crisis or coma, is there ever an excuse not to spend 5 seconds to respond to a text? Do we forget to respond to people we're into? No. Thanks, as always.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 BTW... It's not your ex, is it? The one who mad dogged you at the gym? No, she's definitely a fart in the wind. I moved out of that area last week, so chances are I won't have to run into her again.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 I really like LAUNCH BTW Heh...I do too...
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