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How do you define stalking?


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Posted

This is an extension from another post.

 

Let's forget about the true stalkers in the movies and newspapers (because we all know what that looks like). I'm talking about borderline, fringe... you know, getting close to the definitions where you just might be one yourself!

 

My definition of a borderline stalker is... "to pursue a girl when she clearly does not want to be pursued by you". i.e. has a boyfriend or told you to leave her alone.

 

Sweet and simple.

Posted

yeah thats pretty good generally...

 

More specific drivebys either on foot or auto.. Staking out locations in a parked car. Looking through windows home or car.. following.

Posted
...My definition of a borderline stalker is... "to pursue a girl when she clearly does not want to be pursued by you". i.e. has a boyfriend or told you to leave her alone.

 

Sweet and simple.

Yep. If people would stop there, there'd be no stalking. But just because one continues to pursue does not constitute a stalk. I think the distinction would be that sometimes people will continue to make passes or try to engender themselves to someone even after rejection or learning of commitment to someone but they do so only upon encountering this obect of their affection by way of happenstance. The minute it changes from mere happensatnce to literally pursuing someone, it's stalking--putting one's self in the same places at the same time all the way up through spying and intruding. Creepy.
Posted

Simple definition: monitoring someone of romantic interest without them knowing it.

 

If it's out in the open and doesn't want the attention it's just plain ol harassment.

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Posted
The minute it changes from mere happensatnce to literally pursuing someone, it's stalking--putting one's self in the same places at the same time all the way up through spying and intruding. Creepy.

 

It is creepy! That's why I always bail early on when a girl seems uninterested. I'll never be the 'creep' that she tells her friends about at parties. I think continuous emails, texts, and phone calls can be stalking too... or at the very least it's harassment.

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Posted
Simple definition: monitoring someone of romantic interest without them knowing it.

 

Interesting. So if I tell a girl "I just want to be friends" with the intention of staying close to her and having romantic feelings in secret that would make me a stalker? I could actually go with that definition.

Posted

"stalking" == romantic pursuit by an ugly guy.

 

"romance" == stalking by a hot guy.

Posted
"stalking" == romantic pursuit by an ugly guy.

 

"romance" == stalking by a hot guy.

 

Unfortunately I think this is true. I tried talking to a girl at work once and it wierded her out. Hot guy comes along, talks to her, stares at her tits, gives her a shoulder massage and she finds it endearing and sweet

Posted
Interesting. So if I tell a girl "I just want to be friends" with the intention of staying close to her and having romantic feelings in secret that would make me a stalker? I could actually go with that definition.

 

 

I didn't think I would have to define "monitoring" as well. This could turn into a very long discussion.

Posted

Is this stalking?

 

When I am really into a guy I monitor:

 

a) His Facebook. I probably look at it multiple times a day.

 

b) If he has online dating account I monitor his login times

 

c) I keep looking through his picture albums multiple times and clicking on the names of any girls that look suss (on FB) and then sometimes moniotr them too :o

 

 

I never monitor his house, his car, his work place or similar - now that would be creepy.

Posted
Is this stalking?

 

When I am really into a guy I monitor:

 

a) His Facebook. I probably look at it multiple times a day.

 

b) If he has online dating account I monitor his login times

 

c) I keep looking through his picture albums multiple times and clicking on the names of any girls that look suss (on FB) and then sometimes moniotr them too :o

 

 

I never monitor his house, his car, his work place or similar - now that would be creepy.

 

LOL I hope not! :eek:

Posted

this was my experience.

i was followed around the internet. i would post something on a message board and then get an email about it. or i would post something on facebook and then get a message about it. and outside the internet it was monitoring my where-a-bouts via my phone and then texting me about where i was.

 

mine also included massive internet spying as well as audio and visual surveillance. but, the "stalking" part, the actual following me around was via the internet and tracking my phone.

 

i think that if you're checking someone's facebook for the pure purpose to keep tabs, that's not healthy. if you're making a point of letting the other person know you're tracking there activities and movements, that's stalkerish to me.

Posted

I was a bit disturbed how many people throw that word around to describe someone that may not get the hint, but shouldn't be called a Stalker.

Stalkers are delusional, violent, and do things we only see on movies or TV.

Posted
this was my experience.

i was followed around the internet. i would post something on a message board and then get an email about it. or i would post something on facebook and then get a message about it. and outside the internet it was monitoring my where-a-bouts via my phone and then texting me about where i was.

 

mine also included massive internet spying as well as audio and visual surveillance. but, the "stalking" part, the actual following me around was via the internet and tracking my phone.

 

i think that if you're checking someone's facebook for the pure purpose to keep tabs, that's not healthy. if you're making a point of letting the other person know you're tracking there activities and movements, that's stalkerish to me.

 

But we put ourselves out here for people to see, even when we think they shouldn't care what we're doing. It's our business, but it's available. Is it too much- yes, kinda creepy, yes.

The audio/visual/tracking that is a stalker. That's a disturbed individual and I really am sorry you went through such a thing.

Posted

Stalking runs in my blood I think.

 

They just tagged some pictures of this profile I like...

 

So I went through all of them until I found a group one of about 100 people and went to every single person's profile looking at their pictures to see if they'd taken some pics of the event with their cameras.

 

You get a whole bunch of pest, but then, bingo! You get tons of candid shots that are not even tagged. I saved them all.

 

:love:

Posted
"stalking" == romantic pursuit by an ugly guy.

 

"romance" == stalking by a hot guy.

 

Lol true. Too me it seems like chasing and stalking are almost the same thing, women play hard to get and don't want to make it seem like they like the guy and they want the guy to chase them... but how can you tell the difference between a woman who likes you and doesn't like you? You simply can't because women will never ever make it clear that they do like you.

Posted

Well, there is a such thing as cyber stalking. I've been stalked plenty of times like that. Once, I turned this guy down. I did lie to let him down easy, by telling him that I found someone. Well, later that day, he calls me and leaves me a voicemail and says, "Oh well, if you're really single then why are you still on _____.com?" That's a social network just like facebook.

 

I think that's creepy.

Posted
Well, there is a such thing as cyber stalking. I've been stalked plenty of times like that. Once, I turned this guy down. I did lie to let him down easy, by telling him that I found someone. Well, later that day, he calls me and leaves me a voicemail and says, "Oh well, if you're really single then why are you still on _____.com?" That's a social network just like facebook.

 

I think that's creepy.

 

That's not creepy and it's far from stalking. You lied, he called you out on your lie, and you had nothing to say. He's the weird one???

Posted

To quote an old saying,

 

 

"I'
m
not stalking, I'
m
just curious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

...by the way, you're out of milk."

Posted
That's not creepy and it's far from stalking. You lied, he called you out on your lie, and you had nothing to say. He's the weird one???

 

Yes it is weird and creepy when one, he wasn't even my friend on there so my profile is private. It's a social network site just like facebook. For all he knew is that I was keeping contact with my friends just like anyone else that uses facebook.

 

Second, if I tell you I'm taken there's no need to stalk me and see whether or not I'm socializing on a social network.

Posted
Yes it is weird and creepy when one, he wasn't even my friend on there so my profile is private. It's a social network site just like facebook. For all he knew is that I was keeping contact with my friends just like anyone else that uses facebook.

 

Second, if I tell you I'm taken there's no need to stalk me and see whether or not I'm socializing on a social network.

 

blah blah blah I lied, I am trying to justify my lie.

 

The only thing thats weird here is if he did indeed look you up somehow on that networking site. If he really wasn't your friend on there then I dunno how he got your private info.

 

Still though, it seems like you're just offended by the fact you got caught. You're basically saying he doesn't have the right to ask a simple question, cuz really, it was just a simple question.

Posted
blah blah blah I lied, I am trying to justify my lie.

 

The only thing thats weird here is if he did indeed look you up somehow on that networking site. If he really wasn't your friend on there then I dunno how he got your private info.

 

Still though, it seems like you're just offended by the fact you got caught. You're basically saying he doesn't have the right to ask a simple question, cuz really, it was just a simple question.

 

I'm not justifying the lie. He had my phone number because I gave it to him. He was not my friend on the social network at all.

 

If I told him by phone, I'm sorry I'm not interested, I am taken. What compels a person to go check and monitor my online activities to which he is not even a friend. That is creepy. Sound to me like you may have those same tendencies because you are so quick to defend this weirdo.

 

If someone said to me, sorry I'm taken, I'm not going to go on a hunt to find out if this person is lying or not. Why waste my time?

Posted

Also being actively online on a social network proves nothing. What if it was the truth? Either way, it's cyber stalking.

Posted
I'm not justifying the lie. He had my phone number because I gave it to him. He was not my friend on the social network at all.

 

If I told him by phone, I'm sorry I'm not interested, I am taken. What compels a person to go check and monitor my online activities to which he is not even a friend. That is creepy. Sound to me like you may have those same tendencies because you are so quick to defend this weirdo.

 

If someone said to me, sorry I'm taken, I'm not going to go on a hunt to find out if this person is lying or not. Why waste my time?

 

nahhh I wouldnt go as far as to somehow hack the networking site and look up your info if I wasn't your friend. I do admit that part is kinda weird.

 

HOWEVER if we were friends on that site and I just happened to notice that you were still listed as single on the site shortly after you told me you were taken, I would challenge you.

Posted
nahhh I wouldnt go as far as to somehow hack the networking site and look up your info if I wasn't your friend. I do admit that part is kinda weird.

 

HOWEVER if we were friends on that site and I just happened to notice that you were still listed as single on the site shortly after you told me you were taken, I would challenge you.

 

I would have no problem with that.

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