Madgick1 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Here's another situation we discussed at last night's Girls' Night Out. One of the girls had gone on a first date with someone whom she's really attracted to and he's given every sign he's attracted to her. She thought he seemed kind of nervous, altho usually he's a rather go-getter personable guy. They went to an upscale micro brewery and were talking. His job he deals with hiring caterers for mega large corporate events. She asked him about a specific caterer, what was his experience with them and did he like them. He sort of shrugs and says, "You get what you pay for." And mentions a couple other caterers, and says of one of them, the lady who owns it offered to fly him to the Bahamas for the weekend, but he said he doesn't do business like that. She was taken aback; we all agree it was inappropriate. But debated why he said it. Some of us thought he was just nervous and the incident might have been recent and on his mind and he was just trying to keep the conversation going. Some thought he was trying to tell her that he was sought after, lots of women wanted him--badly. Some thought he was warning her not to pursue him; that he didn't like women who made advances (not that she ever had, altho she had encouraged him and tried to make it easy for him to invite her out). Any insight on why he'd say this? A little bit later, in a pause in the conversation, they both looked up at the TV that was hanging in the restaurant. There was a commercial on for a piece of exercise equipment; these long straps that hung from the ceiling with a loop at the bottom, you put your feet in the loop and 'walked'. Apparently her date said, "You could use those to tie up your girlfriend." The group was decided (altho we all agreed it was awkward and inappropriate); some thought he was nervous and just blurted it out, hoping to look adventuresome and sexy, and some thought he was trying to push a sexual agenda on her. She said a lot of the date was awkward and stilted, but it got more pleasant as it went on but he never really got into the groove, she thought he was probably not interested. But then the next day he called her and thanked her for going out and exhibited a lot of interest and their phone conversation was fun and easy. I think he was just a nervous guy even though he's almost never nervous in any other area of his life; but a lot of the others thought he was a crude jerk, that he couldn't have been nervous, but was game playing. The guy is in his early 50s, and divorced after 8 years plus of marriage. What do you think?
fishtaco Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 OMG girlfriend!!! If you check in the book of male dating symptoms, that's #12234 and #55889!!! It means he's a closet gay!!! I think you girls need to relax. So he blurted out a couple of goofy stuff, it's an indication of nothing. She needs way more interaction before anyone could make any judgment calls on him. So far, given this information, I would say he's either a good guy, a bad guy, or anywhere in between.
EasyHeart Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I think you girls need to relax. So he blurted out a couple of goofy stuff, it's an indication of nothing. Exactly right. This thread is a good example of why so many men think women are nuts.
Author Madgick1 Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) LOL, women will discuss this stuff to death. I think it's just nervous blurting out too. I know him a bit and he's always been professional and formal and actually very helpful, although he is rather a stickler for rules. My friend who was dating him is absolutely gorgeous and usually very easy going. I'm not sure why they had trouble on the date. Too much mutual attraction? Is that possible? However...if it were to turn out he was a scary jerk who ties up women in his garage for showing an interest in him, in hindsight these things would be 'red flags' and she 'should have known'. Edited December 21, 2010 by Madgick1
Eddie Edirol Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 How is it that women still dont realize that men dont speak in code like women do? How is it that in girls night out not one of them knows this?
dispatch3d Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 He was likely expressing his opinions on different things. So when he said something about "not doing business like that" he probably meant the thing in quotation marks. He probably didn't have the moment to think hummm... I'm going to appear sexy and mysterious by saying this. Hahaha mannnnn I'm so happy now I'm not that guy being analyzed by 8 women what I said and did every seconds of some date.
Author Madgick1 Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 I'm so happy now I'm not that guy being analyzed by 8 women what I said and did every seconds of some date. But... You have been in the past. If you've dated a woman, you have had every moment of the date dissected.
FryFish Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 What is too decipher? Ya, we men really arent bright enough to put everything we say into code and to say stuff that we know secretly means OTHER stuff.
refurb Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 And mentions a couple other caterers, and says of one of them, the lady who owns it offered to fly him to the Bahamas for the weekend, but he said he doesn't do business like that. Either he was trying to tell a funny story or he was talking himself up ("I'm a respectable guy and don't do stuff like that"). But seriously, women analyze stuff much? RF
phineas Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 He doesn't accept those kinds of "gifts" from his clients. Seriously, it's his job to hire caterer's. He could get a very bad reputation if he's flying to the bahama's on a caterer's dime. It would basically be seen as a bribe. He doesn't do business like that. Maybe OP's friend should of asked if he'd accept if the woman wasn't a caterer.
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 So what are we supposed to decipher again? Man: "This table looks nice." Woman: <Talking to self> "I wonder what he is trying to say. Is he saying the table looks better than I am? Is he making a sexual suggestion? Is he ...? Is he ...? Is he ...?"
callingyouuu Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Men speak english. To be honest, that's pretty much all you have to know about what we say. My diagnosis: the Bahamas thing was just poor tact, while the tying up thing was just a failed attempt at a joke. Nothing more, nothing less.
biochemgrl Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 So what are we supposed to decipher again? Man: "This table looks nice." Woman: <Talking to self> "I wonder what he is trying to say. Is he saying the table looks better than I am? Is he making a sexual suggestion? Is he ...? Is he ...? Is he ...?" True. I'm a woman and I say exactly what I'm thinking, or if I'm quiet, I just don't feel like talking. Men can't figure that out and end up acting like girls.
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) True. I'm a woman and I say exactly what I'm thinking, or if I'm quiet, I just don't feel like talking. Men can't figure that out and end up acting like girls. Its because most women do interact in codes, so men assume that all of you do talk in codes since they cant tell whether you do or you do not. Personally Im very good at picking up codes. But I hate people who communicate in codes so I usually just pretend not to pick them up because I dont want to reinforce their behavior. Edited December 21, 2010 by musemaj11
biochemgrl Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Its because most women do interact in codes, so men assume that all of you do talk in codes since they cant tell whether you do or you do not. Personally Im very good at picking up codes. But I hate people who communicate in codes so I usually just pretend not to pick them up because I dont want to reinforce their behavior. True. I'm a woman and I say exactly what I'm thinking, or if I'm quiet, I just don't feel like talking. Men can't figure that out and end up acting like girls. Codes? Lost me. I can't even read text messages sometimes. I'm not learning new abbreviations for that crap. Oh. Full on girl mode, so annoying. What's wrong? No. Well, your quiet, seem distant? What, we're watching TV. We should talk. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Just go home, I'm going to bed. I sound like a *******, I know I do, but it drives me up the wall. oh well.
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Codes? Lost me. I can't even read text messages sometimes. I'm not learning new abbreviations for that crap. Oh. Full on girl mode, so annoying. What's wrong? No. Well, your quiet, seem distant? What, we're watching TV. We should talk. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Just go home, I'm going to bed. I sound like a *******, I know I do, but it drives me up the wall. oh well. Maybe next time always tell a guy from the beginning that you dont talk code like other women so they dont have to assume.
biochemgrl Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe next time always tell a guy from the beginning that you dont talk code like other women so they dont have to assume. Maybe I will, then maybe they won't get the "seed' of somethings wrong planted in their heads from something I never said, and want to talk about our relationship, my feelings, etc. etc. Maybe it's just that since I don't get in a weird rant, someone does?
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe I will, then maybe they won't get the "seed' of somethings wrong planted in their heads from something I never said, and want to talk about our relationship, my feelings, etc. etc. Maybe it's just that since I don't get in a weird rant, someone does? Yeah well honestly I dont even understand half of what you are talking about here. Cant imagine how much harder it would be if you talk codes also. LOL
dispatch3d Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 But... You have been in the past. If you've dated a woman, you have had every moment of the date dissected. Luckily I've never been privy to those conversations. So really, they just fly over my head and I'm a cool guy. Well, except in the cases where they are negative. I'm usually aware women are mad, don't know why, and my current thoughts on the subject is they should probably get a hobby . I guess it does make me more important if they take the time to not like me for no true reason.
waynebrady Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 No deciphering needed... Unlike women, Men don't play games.
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