HopeisallIhave Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) Hello. I am seriously contemplating going into a second round of NC after breaking 3 weeks worth. It was living hell. My request... If anyone can please share an NC success story. I guess if NC was a success people have taken off from this forum, but I make a promise to come back to you all after all this is said and done. When I say success I mean success getting your ex back NOT success with moving on with yourself (but I know this is the ultimate goal of NC). Anyways if you could post an NC success story or two I would appreciate it. Thanks. Edited December 21, 2010 by HopeisallIhave
Author HopeisallIhave Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Watch there be no NC success stories. I hate this.
rhonian Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 No success here! Im on my 10th day of NC....today matches the longest we have ever gone without speaking out of 28 months. I knew going into the NC she was extremely stubborn and strongwilled so I knew I was going to have a rough go of it....day....after day....day.....after day, waiting. Iam dying for some type of contact from her but know in my heart and head that I WILL NOT contact her. I would just love to know how she is spending her time and what she is thinking....... Sorry, wish I had something positive for you.
Author HopeisallIhave Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) Im right there with you. Its funny, all the programs and adivce back NC to the core. Yet, all I read about is people stuggling in NC, on/off, so on. What the hell? All I've gotten from NC was a feeling and pretty much fact that it helped HER move on faster while I suffered 10 fold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edited December 21, 2010 by HopeisallIhave
rhonian Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I guess thats why on LS you hear alot of people saying that the idea of NC is for YOU and YOU ONLY. Its not for her. When there is continuous contact, you are letting the SO know that you are always there and it doesnt force them to make a decision. When I look back on my relationship, I get so angry because I gave so much and never really asked anything in return, just wanted her love and I felt that I had that which is what made me try so hard to make her happy with a man. I really wanted to be the one man that came into her life and made her believe again. I guess my way of dealing is going into the relationship I KNEW that she had baggage, issues and drama that I was going to have to break down to get her to love a man but I guess I couldnt do that. In all fairness, I def did some things during the relationship to cause myself harm. I never cheated or hit her but I did emotionally abuse her saying bad things to her when the relationship looked like it was going to end and I couldnt handle it. By last Saturday, I walked away from the relationship because it was the right thing to do no matter what the outcome....
Capital P Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 You need to calm down dude. You have posted about 3 threads in the last 10 minutes. Calm down, take stock of what has happened and then look at this logically. If she is going to get in contact it will from this point take at least 3 months. Yes she is a bitch, yes its unfair, but its her choice. At some point she will have to reason with her feelings , but she isnt doing that at the moment because you keep ****ing up. Yes, it can work to get them back, if they realise thats what they want, but in most cases the relationship is ****ed from that point anyway I got back with an ex after NC but i played the game right. 3 months later she left again and the situation got a LOT worse. in this time i have been concentrating on me, my work , and my life is now in a great position. Calm the **** down!!!
WTRanger Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Seriously, you waited 13 minutes then guessed no one would respond. The reason you can't see NC working is the fact that you want to use it to make her miss you, to get her back. Until you open your eyes to the fact that you need to focus on you, it's not going to work. I'm at 60 plus days NC and I couldn't be happier with where I'm at. I still think about her and I still have feelings, but it's all with clarity. It's no where near as painful as it was in the first few weeks. Of course I've use NC to focus on myself and work to forget about her, and image that, it has worked. NC is NOT A GAME. If it is a game, it has worse odds for you than a rigged Vegas slot machine. You will lose to the house every single time and be left a broken bum in the streets.
Author HopeisallIhave Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Alright CapitalP, thanks for checking me. I will stop right now. I will breathe and take time off the site. I am hurting, I am confused. I really am and I dont know what to do.
SimonSerenade Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 The only sucess come's out of no contact, Either way there's no guide out there to get your ex back, Believe me I tried every single one of them to no extent, You need to realise now there is nothing you can do to get her back, She has to do it on her own, The only thing you can do is take this time out for yourself, If your serious about her, Stay loyal but live your life, Only talk to her when you feel your absolutely sure your 100% ready to handle any obstacle on the course, The idea of no contact is reinventing yourself and getting rid of the hurt all together so that you may one day prove your strength to the ex and to yourself and generally be a better more attractive person because of it.
delajoonal Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 You need to calm down dude. You have posted about 3 threads in the last 10 minutes. Calm down, take stock of what has happened and then look at this logically. If she is going to get in contact it will from this point take at least 3 months. Yes she is a bitch, yes its unfair, but its her choice. At some point she will have to reason with her feelings , but she isnt doing that at the moment because you keep ****ing up. Yes, it can work to get them back, if they realise thats what they want, but in most cases the relationship is ****ed from that point anyway I got back with an ex after NC but i played the game right. 3 months later she left again and the situation got a LOT worse. in this time i have been concentrating on me, my work , and my life is now in a great position. Calm the **** down!!! hopeisallihave... NO, u DO NOT HAVE TO "calm down"! that is WHY LS is here...so u can vent and feel understood...for KIND people to resond to your posts and help u move on with your life or help u get back with your X... either way.. LS is the place for u to vent, freak out, cry, etc...do what u need to HERE..and NOT to HER...keep the NC going...OK..u r doing great! capital P, ur a bit harsh in ur responses to some of these OP's... seriously, U need to calm YOUR responses to a much needed understanding level and kind words...ya, sometimes we all need a 'slap or two' but dang...Y so bitter and mean??? hopeisallihave..keep up the good work...one day at a time and LS is here for u...we r ALL here for u...so just keep letting ALL ur emotions out here so u dont' break you NC, OK :~)
rhonian Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Dela, you beat me to it! I was thinking the exact same thing. Maybe they forgot about the initial phase of NC and how painful it was and the gammet of emotions that you go thru? Hope, is experiencing pain of a lost love and we need to help build him up NOT TEAR HIM DOWN!
Capital P Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Guys if you look at my responses i have posted to this guy about 8 times. They have all been different posts, mostly understanding but he is asking the same things over and over and at that point he needed to snap out of it. If you check another thread he thanked me for giving him a slap in the face before he went mental. There is nothing wrong with coming on here to vent , but he was being hysterical and needed to get some perspective. I feel he is doing that now and in a better place
homebrew Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) I am a seasoned pro when it comes to NC! Been no contact since March! One - I love me! I don't want to be or have anything to do with someone that does want me! Two - I don't like to cause myself any unneeded stress or pain. Which is what NC helps prevent. Three - My EX wanted Space (and so does yours), so i am more than happy to give it to her. Here is my advice to those that struggle with no contact... If you are thinking of contacting your EX or looking at their facebook,,, Get a hammer and hit yourself in the head really hard. After you come too, I promise you will still feel a lot better than you would have if you contacted your EX or looked at their facebook. Always remember... We teach people how to treat us. You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot. You are giving your EX permission and allowing them an opportunity to give you less than you want or deserve. This is not healthy and you are disrespecting yourself by not being true to yourself. Do you think your EX or anyone else is attracted to that? Edited December 21, 2010 by homebrew
NeNinja Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Here's a success story. I have only been NC for 5-6 days. We have several 'couple' friends. The particular couple in this story live in her hometown. The guy is one of my very best friends. She went to high school with his fiancee. We have spent quite a bit of time with them throughout our relationship. She is home for the holidays and bumped into my friends fiancee. She asked if he and I had been talking. We have. She asked how I was, etc. My friends fiancee wasn't sure. She asked my friend, who called to let me know. I told him to tell her I was fine, doing well. I didn't really want to drag them into it. I could have said tell her I miss her, I'm thinking about her constantly, I don't want to lose her, or If she wants to know how I am she can ask me. To me that's a NC success.
whatadeer26 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I was NC for a while, bumped into my ex, we started dating again, then broke up again. I cut it off with her this time. Second chnaces are not always what we imagine in our minds.
PatrickS Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I was the same, im a bloke but i was acting like a complete tool. But after 2 weeks i realise its about myself now. So i've been banging out the gym, the poshest gym around (time to treat myself) You have you bad and good days, today was a good day but recently turned bad as i found out on ****ing facebook my ex is going out with her friends having the time of her life while im hurting and thinking of her every second. Nothing you can do, its her choice
whatadeer26 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Facebook lies. You can portray yourself however you want on that stpid F-ing site. Don't pay it any mind.
Author HopeisallIhave Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 I started NC today. I will post my own NC success story to my own success story thread....when I have one! AND I WILL HAVE ONE.
delajoonal Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 good luck ~hopesallihave~..u CAN DO THIS...:~)
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