feelingfine Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Hi! New thread wondering how you all coped when your husband/wife left you and your kids for his affair parter. While I have gone back to work, stayed in the house (and all that entails) taken superb care of our 3 kids, he just moved on like we were just a thought. Not a 20 year relationship. It has been 18months, and I am fine...but it is hard to know he is now bringing his kids around his gf who is 28...we are both 42. I know same story different names. How did you get past this...I know I can't control him. I have ONLY taken the high road while he just plays like a young single man.
2010_Sorry Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 You are doing everything right! Take the high road, be the better person. I'm pretty sure he will come to his senses eventually and realize what a mistake he made. Not saying that you will even consider taking him back, but he WILL hit rock bottom eventually... If you think of it that way, you will realize that you are miles ahead of him.
Confused4Now Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Hi! New thread wondering how you all coped when your husband/wife left you and your kids for his affair parter. While I have gone back to work, stayed in the house (and all that entails) taken superb care of our 3 kids, he just moved on like we were just a thought. Not a 20 year relationship. It has been 18months, and I am fine...but it is hard to know he is now bringing his kids around his gf who is 28...we are both 42. I know same story different names. How did you get past this...I know I can't control him. I have ONLY taken the high road while he just plays like a young single man.Sounds like you haven't delt with it yet. The fact that time is slow is you are still wondering what happened. Still thinking of it. Yes you have accepted it but maybe haven't got all the answers yet to have closure. The only thing is to keep working on yourself and stop thinking of him and his new life. Show him you have moved on and comfortable in your new role. Date meet people socially. You'll get there...just don't stay stuck.
Author feelingfine Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 You are spot on Confused! Thank you for that! And thanks Sorry for your response too! I have accepted that this is what is happening in my life..but I suppose not embraced the good that can come out of it yet. He has not even seen an attny for divorce to start..I have and he says he will just go with what mine says. Feels strange, I didn't ask for or want this and I have to do the divorce part. Keep me up with your advise girls....I can use all the help I can get. Really...date??? How do I do that with 3 pre-teens and being a single parent! Feelingfine in Nebraska
HeidiB125 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Be thankful that you didn't waste one more precious moment of your life on him. You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders and there are many men out there who would love, cherish and appreciate you, when you are ready.
scatterd Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I am so sorry for your pain it took me three years to get over my second marriage.It was a horrible break up and I we never did sit down and talk. Today I am so glad I am not with him it takes time.Someday you will be thankful that you are not with him someone will come along that will make you happy.I know how hard it is for you having the children around the X's girl but after a few times of them going it will be easier.Hopefully she is good with them she will never replace you.The way he left is horrible and it makes you feel bad about yourself but remember its not you he left its because of him and someday he will regret it.I don't know if you have had counseling but it would help you.I hope you feel better soon big hugs
Spark1111 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Squeeze in counseling, hit the gym, make new friends and do for you! Ask them to take over some equal responsibility with his kids! Divorce will probably grant him equal visitation....Every other weekend they have to schlep the kids and you are free to do for you. Start those proceedings today. It sound as if by NOT doing that, you have made it easy for him to have his AP and the kids when he finds it convenient. He has all the fun and you still have all the responsibility. Stop that. It is time to get some diversity and excitement into your life. And it is time for him and her to have some equal parenting time.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Hi! New thread wondering how you all coped when your husband/wife left you and your kids for his affair parter. I would have loved it if wife left me and the kids to be with affair partner. a loving father and man of a wife that cheats should get preference with regards to custody. While I have gone back to work, stayed in the house (and all that entails) taken superb care of our 3 kids, he just moved on like we were just a thought. Not a 20 year relationship. I hope you are making him pay child support. It has been 18months, and I am fine...but it is hard to know he is now bringing his kids around his gf who is 28...we are both 42. I know same story different names. How did you get past this...I know I can't control him. I have ONLY taken the high road while he just plays like a young single man. thing is, when he starts to look older, she will still be fairly young looking. trust me, he'll end up finding some other guy's member inside her sooner or later.
Jonah Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I think the guy needs to have the kids every other weekend + summer ect. That will give you time to enjoy - I know kids are fun but you gotta have time take care of you. To move past this while being full time mom... ge I cannot fathom cause I am a guy! My two boys were fine on the weekends and such, a third would have been tough though. Best of wishes too you...
Author feelingfine Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 All great posts my friends! Yes, I have been in therapy...very helpful esp. the first year of this. Looks like we are all plugging along getting through. Looking forward, trying not to look back!! Go go go!!
frenchiefun Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I would have loved it if wife left me and the kids to be with affair partner. a loving father and man of a wife that cheats should get preference with regards to custody. I hope you are making him pay child support. thing is, when he starts to look older, she will still be fairly young looking. trust me, he'll end up finding some other guy's member inside her sooner or later. Member?? You'd be funny if you weren't so gross Dexter...
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