Nobodyn0se Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) This is a realization I've come to have about myself when somebody in my other thread suggested that I should have sex with the girl I'm dating.... I think I'm afraid to have sex. I grew up in a Christian family who treated sex as if it was a terrible thing outside of marriage. I grew up with that belief and ahered to it, now I want no part of Christianity. Because of this I'm a virgin and now I'm dating, for the first time a Non-Christian girl. When I think of having sex with her I feel excited but I also feel terrified. I don't know what moves to make and when to make them. When we do end up having sex I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to be terrible in bed.... From reading what people said in this forum it has made me even more afraid. It seems a lot of relationship troubles STEM from bad sex. I don't just want to use her as a glorfied form of masterbation, I want to satisfy her needs and wants as well, I want to connect with her. Right now I'm having a good relationship thus far and I'm afraid that she'll all of the sudden be turned off to me when we have sex. I'm also worried that she'll be expecting me to make a move, and I won't be able to pick up the signs. This is weighing heavy on my mind today. Edited December 20, 2010 by Nobodyn0se
Knittress Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 If you don't want to do it, don't. No biggie. But you seem like you do, so... Does she know you're a virgin? In any case she's probably noticed that you didn't dive for her jeans immediately and might have some suspicions. That probably means she likes your company and is not the fast-moving type of woman who is going to be holding up an olympic scorecard after you finish. From your tone it really sounds like you want to please her - THAT is what's the most important. A lot of guys are bad in bed because they're too selfish to tune in or figure out what works for their partner. You've got to talk to her though, so she doesn't accidentally misinterpret your behavior.
Author Nobodyn0se Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) If you don't want to do it, don't. No biggie. But you seem like you do, so... Does she know you're a virgin? In any case she's probably noticed that you didn't dive for her jeans immediately and might have some suspicions. That probably means she likes your company and is not the fast-moving type of woman who is going to be holding up an olympic scorecard after you finish. From your tone it really sounds like you want to please her - THAT is what's the most important. A lot of guys are bad in bed because they're too selfish to tune in or figure out what works for their partner. You've got to talk to her though, so she doesn't accidentally misinterpret your behavior. Thanks. She said I could move as slow as I wanted because... well I'm just getting out of another relationship and I made sure to tell her that before we dated. Should I act soon? I don't know if she's had experience either since she's never gone to far in relationships (her longest relationship was 6 dates). But she implied I was the only person she's ever dated that she likes. I told her that I've only been with one person in a long distance relationship and that I used to be a christian. I think she can tell I'm a virgin. She always says I'm so cute, and adorble and she also mentioned that she'd be afraid that she'd corrupt me haha. fyi I've gone on around 5 dates with her. Edited December 21, 2010 by Nobodyn0se
Recommended Posts