ConfusedNJ Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Sorry this is so long in advance. This guy and I were dating for 6 months- it was serious dating; like any relationship I've been in. After 6mos I finally asked about what we were.. stressed there was no pressure and we ended up going official. Slowly but surely over the next 2mos he changed. I'm a laid back kind of girlfriend.. I don't get clingy or try to run anyones life. None of that changed but he seemed less interested. Then he broke up with me saying I was the perfect gf, and he started feeling like we were getting to be more then a little bf/gf thing but he didn't know if he was ready for anything serious. Said he didn't want to do the break up, get back together, break up thing and wanted to be with me when he KNEW he was ready. A few days after he texted and asked if I wanted to grab dinner and we did a couple days later. After that we still hung out like nothing happened, of course I had brought up how I felt about things a few times. After a couple weeks a friend of ours told me he had said he was stupid for breaking up with me and a month after breaking up he asked me to be his girlfriend again. Everything went SO great over the next few weeks.. the last time we had hung out he asked me to come hang out with him and his daughter who I hadn't seen since we broke up (he told me she was getting attached to me and was one of the reasons he wasn't sure he was ready to be serious, because he didn't want her to get more hurt down the line). We went to his parents, I met some more of his family.. we made dinner it was just an awesome night. The next day my friend called and said there was a car that I'd heard about before parked out front; a girls car who he'd supposedly been hanging out with- and that her bf saw them kissing. When I asked him about it he denied it.. and then I didn't see him for a week. I asked him if everything was ok because we've never gone that long without seeing each other and it didn't seem to bother him. That's when he broke up with me again.. 3 weeks after getting back together. This time he didn't know what he wanted, and he didn't think I'd be able to trust him after hearing what I did. We met the next day and talked.. I was crying, he said he was scared he'd end up finding out he was making a mistake. I could tell he was having a hard time sticking to it but he did. We didn't talk like we did the first time. We hung out maybe once a week because we wanted to stay friends but it seemed so easy for him.. I thought he was moving on and/or had lost those kinds of feelings for me. A few days after it happened (3 weeks ago) I went to my friends and surely enough, that car was out front. So last week I get asked on a date and I went this past weekend. I was still missing him like crazy but I couldn't keep twiddling my thumbs at home hoping he'd change his mind, it was killing me. He found out yesterday about it.. we already had plans to watch the football game. But after he found out (through a friend) he was texting me saying he missed me and he was excited to see me, asking if that was a bad thing etc. When we met we were talking a lot and it was going good.. we got talking about Christmas/Christmas Eve plans and he kept telling me he wanted me to come over Christmas Eve and hang out with him and his family. He eventually asked about the date and I told him that I did go out- I'm not gonna lie. I told him that he's all I wanted but he didn't want me back and he said that wasn't true and kissed me. Said that hearing about me possibly being with someone else made him realize his feelings for me and that he missed me. It's ALL I've wanted to hear. I feel so torn. I have such strong feelings for him.. we've been dating/going out/seeing each other for 9 months now. I feel so confused. He tells me what I want to hear but I wonder if he means it, if he really does have feelings for me. I want so badly to believe that he does. If he actually feels about me like I do about him.. or if he's just saying it to keep me around. I try to be logical but I feel like I don't have logic anymore; my head is screaming at me but so is my heart. I've never actually blamed him for any of this though.. I'm a big girl and I make my own decisions. I just hope he wouldn't put me through this rollercoaster for nothing when he knows how I feel about him.. I mean not a month ago he was holding me while I was crying about it not being with him and having to go through this again. Underneath it all he really is a great guy.. I just don't know what to think, I would love some unbiased opinions or similar stores even..
NeNinja Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 He may not want you. He may just not want you to be with anyone else. If it makes you happy go for it. Give him another shot. But just make sure that he isn't keeping you on the backburner while he continues to look for someone else or figure out what he wants. Just be careful.
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