mvem Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Hey all, I am sure I will get some laughs here for perhaps being clueless...I'll post anyway as I am curious as to what others think. OK...I met a beautiful gal online on one of those cool dating sites. If it matters, the gal is Indonesian and seperated. Last weekend (12/11 to be exact), we discussed meeting up. I gave her my number and she called me that night asking if I could meet her at a club. I met her there and we talked for 2 hours or so before the place closed down. I seemed to get the seal of approval from her friend that was with us as well (mentioned I was a cool guy). I walked them to their car afterwards and both wanted to do something the next weekend. During the week we exchanged tons of text messages back and forth asking questions etc. I have an iPhone, so texting is pretty easy to manage and relatively quick, but I haven't texted one single person this much in my life. No big deal though, I assume she is just interested. Saturday (12/18) rolls around. We had planned on doing something that night so she texts me that afternoon asking if I can go to a club downtown. I haven't been there before, so I agree as it sounds fun. Change of plan then...she then asks if I want to go to a Christmas party at her church. Again, I agree as it sounds fun. I get to the church and her friend is there from last weekend (seems glad to see me), and my date introduces me to some of her friends and her mom. The entire performance is in Indonesian....I can't understand a bit of it but try to act as interested as I can and have fun with it After the party at the church, she wants to head to another club. Again, I haven't been to this particular club either, and agree to go as again, it sounds fun We get to the club, and I her mom is there with us...just different I guess. Anyway, we get inside and we get some drinks and food and just sit and talk for over 2 hours. Everything seemed to be going great...she was never at a loss for words or something to say that's for sure. During the conversation, she mentioned that she is looking for friends first and wants to let things develop slowly. I completely agree and had no problem with that. We end up heading out as her mom looks like she is going to fall asleep. Give her a hug and talk to you later etc. Night went great as far as I can tell. I sent her two text messages after that: 1) Saying thanks for the invite to the Christmas party, had a lot of fun etc. 2) Letting her know that I agree with her method of getting into a relationship (slowly), and would definatley like to see her again as she is a cool gal, etc etc. As I never got a response to these two, I sent another asking if everything is OK? Did she get home alright that other night? No response again. Just left it at that. I guess my question is, was this some sort of test with her friends/family or something (hence the church invite)? Did she assume I don't like her as I wasn't all over her at the club (her mom is sitting right there...would have just felt odd). I was a complete gentleman the entire time we went out (open doors for her, pull out chairs, buy food/drinks etc) and nice to all family and friends. I totally respected boundries she laid out (move slow etc). This bothers me as I have no idea what the hell I did wrong? For somebody to just stonewall like that after I sent a thank you message and a nice followup is just wierd to me. I know she gets the text messages...was hooked to the phone like I am to mine, lol. How hard is it to hit reply and say 'I had fun but there is no chemistry'? What purpose does not responsing and just leaving some void accomplish? Any ideas??
paleblue Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Who knows what her deal is. Maybe her mom or someone in her family has a problem so they forbid her to contact you again. Maybe there are religious differences. It wasn’t a test, and she didn’t assume no because you weren’t all over her. Getting stonewalled happens. Don’t beat yourself up too badly. You did nothing wrong. People can just be weird like that sometimes.
nice-easy-day Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Who knows what her deal is. Maybe her mom or someone in her family has a problem so they forbid her to contact you again. Maybe there are religious differences. It wasn’t a test, and she didn’t assume no because you weren’t all over her. Getting stonewalled happens. Don’t beat yourself up too badly. You did nothing wrong. People can just be weird like that sometimes. Agree, Only I would add stop with the damn texting until you have a few dates under your belt and you know where things are going. Texting can derail a potential relationship. I'm not saying thats the case here but if she comes around again try going without the texting for awhile. You're just being used as a 'pick me up' throughout the day and building a false relationship. You can also be very easily misunderstood through a text.
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