aloevera Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 -stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable?
Kendrick Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 -stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable? Yes, you have every right to say that. Can you tell us more about this female contact? Do you both know this person?
UnsureinSeattle Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 The wife's comfort should come before some online "friendship."
JackJack Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 My answer is yes as well. Why would the wife feel she couldn't or shouldn't have that right?
confusedinkansas Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Yes you have the right. Doesn't mean he will.
Universe Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 yes - your wife controls you and all of your relationships. You cannot have any friends without her say so.
Universe Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 just kidding. on a more serious note.... She has a right to be concerned and to know the full nature of your relationship with this other woman. You should tell her exactly how you feel about this other woman no matter how strongly or mildly. If you do, in fact, have strong feelings for the internet friend, or if you even think you might have strong feelings for her, then you should stop communication with her. Unless you want out of your marriage. Then you need to tell your wife that you want out of the marriage. If you're having an emotional affair, then your wife has a right to know. And if your going to regain any trust from your wife, then she will have to know that the affair is over - and that means no contact with the other woman whatsoever. And it also means giving your wife access/passwords to all your accounts so she can see for herself that the affair is over. The fact that it's an internet friend does not imply that it is any more innocent than someone you know in person. In fact, it usually implies the opposite. Internet communication can easily be more intimate than communication done in person. So don't think you're off the hook because it's the internet. All that said - if she really is "just a friend" to you and you know for sure that you don't have any romantic feelings for her, then your wife doesn't really have a right to decide who you can and can't be friends with. She doesn't get to run your life. But be careful. Don't let it get out of hand. You really shouldn't be communicating with her too often. And you definitely should not be flirting. That can get out of hand quickly. Keep tabs on how what you're feeling and only communicate with her as if she were one of your guy friends. No different. It is dangerous and probably not worth the anxiety. But if you stay true to yourself and keep communication with your wife open, then it should be ok. Just be careful and stay true and honest with your wife.
Distant78 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 -stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable? Of course.
impz Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 -stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable? On principle, yes. However, it has to be done in a tactful manner. The wife should not state it in a way that is blaming the husband, but more like explaining that she is genuinely uncomfortable in a step by step procedure. Yes, you have to appeal to the logic of the man. As a wise man once said, "Because men have a need to make sense!" :lmao:
Lauriebell82 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Not knowing who you are in this little scenerio, I would say that a wife has the right to ask her husband to stop online contact if it's making her feel uncomfortable. The husband does not have to listen to this of course, and a serious conversation would need to result in clarifying WHY she is uncomfortable with this particular online female friend.
wicar1 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 -stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable? Yes....she has
Enema Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Depends if she has a history of insecurity, jealousy, possessiveness and controlling behavior. In that case, I'd just ditch the wife. Hope that's the answer you were looking for.
StrangeCanine Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 -stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable? Yeah she does but that just shows her insecurity with their relationship.
Distant78 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Yeah she does but that just shows her insecurity with their relationship. No it doesn't.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Yeah she does but that just shows her insecurity with their relationship. She's not in the early dating stages where she's preoccupied with demonstrating how cool and secure she is. If you're married to somebody, or in a long term relationship with them, and you are concerned about a friendship they have with someone of the opposite sex (feeling that it's potentially a threat to the marriage), then the normal healthy thing would be to discuss that concern openly. The ability to raise concerns such as the one the OP would demonstrate that notwithstanding those concerns there is still a good amount of trust and communication in the marriage. If trust is paper thin, it will seem almost impossible and the concern will fester quietly. "What if I put ideas into his head? What if he thinks there's something wrong with me for feeling concerned about this? I don't want to look insecure..."
Kendrick Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Yeah she does but that just shows her insecurity with their relationship. I disagree. Just because someone communicates to another person how they feel about something doesn't mean they are insecure.
luvstarved Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 Hard to comment much without more history and detail - part of the question is how "reasonable" a request it is. But to some degree that is irrelevant and the main question is, what are his feelings and priorities? You can talk about rights all day, but you can't really dictate someone's feelings and priorities...for the most part, people are unable to dictate their OWN feelings and priorities...they just are what they are. If he values her feelings and his marriage more than the online relationship, he will give it up. If he does not, he will not. At that point, it does not matter whether she is right, or whether he is a supreme a**hole or whether she is crazy insecure. At that point, all she can do is decide whether his refusal to comply with her request is something she can live with. In short, she does not have a "right" to DEMAND that he give up the relationship. She has a right to REQUEST it. And she has a right to make compliance a condition of continuing in the marriage. He has a "right" to continue in the relationship, but at the possible cost of his marriage. You cannot control people, you can only make requests and choices.
george44 Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 stop contact online with a female friend of his if it makes the wife unconfortable We don't have enough information to answer this question. Many of the posters think this is an on-line friend, which means that the H met her on line. However, the original post says "online with a female friend". Many people have female friends that they's known since high school, or even grade school, and they sometimes communicate with them through Facebook or some other means. There is nothing wrong with this as long as she's really just a "friend". Without knowing how this person became a "friend", and the history behind the "friendship", we can't possibly give a good answer to the question.
Sparty97 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Sure she can ask...doesn't mean he'll listen, or even that he should.
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