jinxed Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) Hi all Im new to these forums, came across them looking for a an answer or some closure. My girlfriend split up with me at the weekend. We were together for 6 months, and everything was going so well, and we were very much in love with each other. Only recently her ex has started coming back on the scene. She has a baby with him, so there is history. She had split up with him just before we got together. When I first came along, he didn't want anything to do with his baby. Now I understand that he has every right to see his child, I have no problem with this and that is not what I'm concerned about. My concern is that she has started talking about him more and more to me. At first I asked her to stop, because its not something I really wanted to hear. She carried on and also started to txt him quite frequently. When I asked her about it she would get angry and tell me that I need to get over it. This carried on for a while. We started arguing, and every time the ex was at the centre of the argument. She split up with me at the start of the weekend. Told me she didn't know what she wanted at the moment. I met her last night to talk, but instead of talking, again she spent the whole evening messaging her ex on facebook. I didn't say anything for fear of getting into another arguement. I understand that I may well of got myself worked up over nothing, but in all honesty I believe she still has feelings for him and he is really playing on it. Sorry for the wall of text, I really needed to get things off my chest. Edited December 20, 2010 by jinxed
PegNosePete Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Sorry to say dude, sounds like you were the rebound. She's clearly not over him.
CandyHeart Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Is it possible your jealousy towards the ex boyfriend might have drove her away? Like PegNosePete said it sounds like you might have been the rebound guy. They do have a long history together and a kid together so no matter what the ex will never be out of her life. Is that something you would have been able to deal with?
Author jinxed Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Its certainly starting to look that way. I think I've let myself become her doormat the last few days, which is really not a position I want to be in. I still love her so much, and it really hurts to be shoved aside. She wants me to go round to hers on christmas day, but Im beginning to think that she is just leaving me on the sideline whilst she decides what is happening with her ex. My head is telling me to walk away, but my heart is telling me to stay. Im so confused.
Bryanp Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 My friend nobody and I mean nobody respects a doormat. She knows she has you wrapped around her finger. If you do not respect yourself then who will?
Chi townD Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I think you need to have a heart to heart with her. Sit her down and ask her point blank if she still interested in her Ex. Because, it's not fair to you if she is. You want to know now, so you can make a clean break with things before you get too invested with her and her kid.
DuskCrush Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 hey, I know you're hurting now...and all you want to do is be with her so you don't have to deal with the pain. But...it's best to cut her loose. Deal with the pain. You will move on or I think if you just end it and try to move on--she may eventually come around and be a better girlfriend. BY then you may not even want to be with her. Don't go around for Christmas. Good luck
Author jinxed Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the replies guys. I found out yesterday that the ex had also split up with his current girlfriend at the weekend. Coincidence or what eh? What I find so much stranger is that my girlfriend went to meet her ex's ex for lunch yesterday. Why would she do this? To make sure there was no chance of them getting back together? Edited December 22, 2010 by jinxed
Windsurf66 Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 The theme is always the same; once the partner shows disrespect to you and your relationship, the relationship is doomed, sooner or later. I can understand the continued contact, but NOT constant and unnecessary contact. The contact should only be limited to the child in question. More importantly, you felt uncomfortable with the contact, but instead of reducing the contact to reassure you, she has been defensive and has even split up with you. All these, are simply disrespectful and disregard for you and the relationship. "She carried on and also started to txt him quite frequently. When I asked her about it she would get angry and tell me that I need to get over it. " Dump her, and tell her to get over it
ComputerJock Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 IMHO the reason she had lunch with ex's ex is to verify what he is telling her, I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU BACK. She has already split with you. She has checked to make sure he is not going back to his ex-girlfriend. You are backup, she is putting you on the back burner in case her ex-boyfriend turns out to be lying or their new relationship falters and she has you to go to you as her back up. Will this be her actions for the rest of your relationship...having you as a backup incase any new relationship fails? I think so because of your responses to her. I would go No Contact and let her think about what she is loosing. Read other posts about recovering your self worth. Many have been through this and many of those that have taken them back have regretted it. Has she been sleeping with ex-boyfriend and child's father? Is there any way you can know for sure, how about you contacting his ex-girlfriend and buying her lunch. She may have a lot to tell you. Maybe they broke up because he was sleeping with baby's momma? Its your decison, doormat or man.
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