kiwibird Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) What does it feel like when you have chemistry with someone? This may seem quite an obvious thing, but I have not had much dating experience, and I want to know how it feels. I'm very curious to know what the experience of others is. I have an agenda. I've been trying to explain to someone that I don't think we have chemistry together. It seems obvious to me. I don't have the right descriptions to tell him what I think I mean by this. I am fond of him, and we slept together. I think it was not the wisest choice on our part to do so. I hope "No harm done" and it had positive benefit to us as people, a new experience. I value his presence in my life, he is definately something more than a friend to me. But I had a lot of inner confusion over the sexual side of things afterwards, and I kept telling him I thought something was missing. "What is missing?" he asks? So, what am I missing? Whatever that feeling is, please help if you can offer a description. Edited December 20, 2010 by kiwibird
lovefiction Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I don't know if chemistry is something "real"... I tend to think it is an idea that we hang onto along with fairytales and prince charming. When I think of chemistry, I think of the "electricity" or "spark" between myself and someone; it's a feeling that makes your heart skip a beat or gives you butterflies.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 For future reference, just tell the guy that you "just don't feel a spark". It's that elusive thing that is sometimes there and sometimes isn't, and when it isn't it's too bad but it's nobody's fault. If he's not an idiot, he'll accept that and not ask further questions. If he does, you have to be a bit more brutal and tell him you don't feel romantic feelings.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Chemistry, when it comes to physical contact, is not zigging when you're supposed to zag. I know that sounds dumb but what I mean is that sometimes the give and take of personality can be spot on (good chemistry) but the give and take of physicality can be off. I had a love interest once who turned out to be that way. She was so beautiful and desireable. But making out with her was like trying to make it with a sack of potatoes. She just wasn't in tune with me and she made no real attempt to allert me how to get in tune with her. She would "zig" when I "zagged" and "zagged" when I "zigged". It was hopeless. Too bad. She was the prettiest girl I ever had.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Chemistry is just literally a feeling for someone who may not be your type, who may not be good for you, who may not be right for you. Chemistry is completely unconscious. Sometimes its with someone PERFECT, other times the person can be all wrong. You have chemistry with a friend on a personality level, or on a physical level where someone just does it for you. But you can't really fake chemistry. If you don't feel it, someone can be great, but they aren't for you.
creighton0123 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 "After thinking it over, while I appreciate what we have had, I'm missing a desire to have a monogamous, romantic relationship with you. You may feel differently, but I can't see us lasting into the long-term enough to make me want to try." Direct, sometimes cold truth is better than beating around the bush.
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