xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I recently began a threesome relationship with a couple. It's one of those things that really took me by surprise but I can't say I don't enjoy it. I'm very close with the girlfriend, especially since we're both bi, and her boyfriend doesn't mind that we're together. I can say they're very open and honest in terms of sex. They don't mind having sex with other people but they agreed that whatever sex they have they will never sleep with other people aside from threesomes and it's been agreed the girlfriend does not mess around with other men. The both of them are very sexual, and I feel like I've a good bargain out of it- I don't need to be in a committed relationship but I can still have sex with people I trust. I don't expect everyone to be open to these type of things, and I'm certainly not writing this to be judged. I wonder, from everyone's point of view, what are your opinions in regards to open relationships and threesomes? What are your personal experiences?
ascendotum Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I had 2 threesomes before with a mate. Once with a girl we met and another time with his girlfriend. I really enjoyed it, more for the novelty/kink value though, the girls weren't exactly great lookers/classy chicks. I admit I would much prefer to take part in a FFM tryst though. From a female perspective it is many many many times easier to find a couple that wants a single female for third person in an ongoing relationship than it is for a male. Guys really don't want to share their girlfriend/wife with another guy beyond fulfilling an occasional fantasy, and for a MMF situation, its the woman's fantasy, not the guys. I have to admit Your post turns me on. I have a few questions for you xpx..if its okay. You call it a relationship...how often will it be. A kinky night once a month and do they just call you up out of the blue and say its on for tomorrow night? Has anyone talked about any termination plan to this arrangement? Does the girl place any limits on what her partner can do with you? Did you do this girl before she ended up with this guy? Are you doing this because the girl turns you, or the guy turns you on, or the kinky experience aspect? Given you are bi, would you suggest this to your next bf?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 I had 2 threesomes before with a mate. Once with a girl we met and another time with his girlfriend. I really enjoyed it, more for the novelty/kink value though, the girls weren't exactly great lookers/classy chicks. I admit I would much prefer to take part in a FFM tryst though. From a female perspective it is many many many times easier to find a couple that wants a single female for third person in an ongoing relationship than it is for a male. Guys really don't want to share their girlfriend/wife with another guy beyond fulfilling an occasional fantasy, and for a MMF situation, its the woman's fantasy, not the guys. I have to admit Your post turns me on. I have a few questions for you xpx..if its okay. You call it a relationship...how often will it be. A kinky night once a month and do they just call you up out of the blue and say its on for tomorrow night? Well the way we'd set it up, I'm with the girlfriend most of the time. I am very good friends with the girlfriend, hence we're incredibly comfortable around each other. If there's going to be sex everytime I see them, they wouldn't have need to ask, I would just join them. Has anyone talked about any termination plan to this arrangement? Technically, I'm not dating the boyfriend, but sharing the girlfriend with him. From what she's told me, her bf is exceptionally comfortable with me being with her, and doesn't mind that she has sex with me. Does the girl place any limits on what her partner can do with you? Actually she was really open the first time I had sex with her boyfriend. She told me she liked to share her man and loved watching us having sex. Did you do this girl before she ended up with this guy? Yes, she was my first bisexual experience with a girl. Are you doing this because the girl turns you, or the guy turns you on, or the kinky experience aspect? I can assure you it was not arranged. I was hanging over at her place over the weekend and her boyfriend happened to drop by that night. I am very comfortable with friends having sex around me, and wasn't bothered by them having some alone time. The next thing I knew, we were all getting naked. Given you are bi, would you suggest this to your next bf? At this moment, I am not emotionally available to be in a relationship, that is why I said this is a comfortable arrangement for me. I am a very sexual person and I do have certain fetishes that most people aren't into. I can say that if I were to get into a relationship in the future, I wouldn't see it as a problem suggesting it to my boyfriend.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I have been invited to be the guest star in two different long-term relationships within the last year. The idea is somewhat appealing (though the thought of me and two men is much more appealing), but I think it would be tough for me to handle emotionally, and I can better use my time in other ways. I really would like to bring the MFM fantasy to life someday, but I'm not motivated to go out of my way to make it happen. I have had several good opportunities to do this one, but it was never juuust right, so I declined. It sounds like it's working for you and you're having a good time with it. Enjoy!
Knittress Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I've had threesomes with my new man and his friend, and it was totally fun and not at all awkward. Ok, I did get the teensiest bit jealous that one time and I'm totally confused about how I ought to treat her when we're not naked - but it wasn't the epic emotional roller-coaster the internet has lead me to expect. I wonder if I might get more possessive the more established the relationship, though.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 I have been invited to be the guest star in two different long-term relationships within the last year. The idea is somewhat appealing (though the thought of me and two men is much more appealing), but I think it would be tough for me to handle emotionally, and I can better use my time in other ways. I really would like to bring the MFM fantasy to life someday, but I'm not motivated to go out of my way to make it happen. I have had several good opportunities to do this one, but it was never juuust right, so I declined. It sounds like it's working for you and you're having a good time with it. Enjoy! I've never done MFM, I haven't chance upon alot of men who would share a girl with another man. I have however, encountered various occasions where I get asked to join in a FMF experiences, but I have turned them down. The way I see things is, as sexual as I am, I'm still uncomfortable with having " random" sexual encounters. As much as there need to be a sexual attraction between parties, I also need to be physically and emotionally comfortable with the people I have sex with. And you are right, I really do enjoy this.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) I've had threesomes with my new man and his friend, and it was totally fun and not at all awkward. Ok, I did get the teensiest bit jealous that one time and I'm totally confused about how I ought to treat her when we're not naked - but it wasn't the epic emotional roller-coaster the internet has lead me to expect. I wonder if I might get more possessive the more established the relationship, though. What do you mean by possessive? Like you might get jealous if your guy starts liking the girl? I have to admit as much as I like the girl I'm with, I'm also sexually attracted to her boyfriend. However, I am aware about my feelings for them, I can be sexually involved, but emotionally, I'm very certain I wouldn't want a relationship with either of them in terms of a " monogamy" LTR relationship. Also I've forgotten to add, the couple have known each other for 7 years already. They'd actually met at a swing club. So they have a history together that a third party like myself wouldn't come in between. And I wouldn't want to do that. They're actually very good friends of mine. Edited December 21, 2010 by xpaperxcutx
OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Wow paper didn't know you are that sexually adventurous
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Wow paper didn't know you are that sexually adventurous Lol yes OG. I've been celibate for most of the summer, so I've been deprived.
Cee Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I've dated men who were polyamorous. It has worked out okay and there isn't any jealousy whatsoever. It wasn't a three-way though. The husband and wife dated people separately. The only problem they had was keeping their lifestyle private. They were college professors and didn't want their students to know. If I was out in public on a date, we felt like we had to sneak around a bit in case a student came by. I had a three-way once about 18 months ago. It was a one night stand thing. It was incredible and I'd like to do it again, but I'm pretty shy about approaching women for sex. Mostly I smile and flirt, but don't have the nerve to make a move. I have a male friend pushing me to do a three-way with him, but our taste in women is completely different. I think maturity and common sense should carry you through this experience without ill effects. If things get conflicted or weird, you can always end the sex part and carry on as platonic friends.
musemaj11 Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 It was incredible and I'd like to do it again, but I'm pretty shy about approaching women for sex. Lol, somehow that made me laugh. It just doesnt sound right.
Knittress Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 It was incredible and I'd like to do it again, but I'm pretty shy about approaching women for sex. Mostly I smile and flirt, but don't have the nerve to make a move. I'm not sure how generalizable this is to the female population, but I am MUCH more comfortable when a woman flirts with me than when a man does it. When a married middle-aged guy jokes around with me I'm leery, but when a married middle-aged woman is touchy and obviously macking on me, I'm like "Oh, Yay! Affection!" Total double standard.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 I wonder, from everyone's point of view, what are your opinions in regards to open relationships and threesomes? What are your personal experiences? They're fine - when you're clearly the 3rd wheel - but if you're one of the core participants then a threesome (or even the interest therein) is far too often a death knell for the relationship involved.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 They're fine - when you're clearly the 3rd wheel - but if you're one of the core participants then a threesome (or even the interest therein) is far too often a death knell for the relationship involved. Like I'd said, they're very open to threesomes so being a third wheel doesn't play into anything so much as I'm usually hanging out with the gf more and keeping her company. Surprisingly, the only thing that really jumps out at me is that the bf is incredibly busy and they hardly ever see each other more than 1- 2 times a week. According to the gf, the bf runs his own computer tech company, so he's constantly running back and forth between clients and making deadlines on his work. They've been together for 3 months, and while the gf wants to see him more, she's being extremely understanding that his work is his priority right now.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 I'm not sure how generalizable this is to the female population, but I am MUCH more comfortable when a woman flirts with me than when a man does it. When a married middle-aged guy jokes around with me I'm leery, but when a married middle-aged woman is touchy and obviously macking on me, I'm like "Oh, Yay! Affection!" Total double standard. Knit, I feel the same way. I'm much more comfortable flirting with women than with men. I always feel I get along better with my female peers than with my male peers. Needless to say, I am also comfortable with PDA with women.
112233 Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 My ex-GF kept picking up other women and wanting me to take them home and give them the business, but I never did it. Seemed odd. I've done FFM and FFFM before but not in a relationship, not sure I could mix those.
AverageJoe Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 TFP, that story is very similar to what I experienced. Good times. Although I didnt get jealous at all. Have done the FFM and even a MMF, once (hey its not gay as long as emotions dont touch).
zengirl Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 I recently began a threesome relationship with a couple. It's one of those things that really took me by surprise but I can't say I don't enjoy it. I'm very close with the girlfriend, especially since we're both bi, and her boyfriend doesn't mind that we're together. I can say they're very open and honest in terms of sex. They don't mind having sex with other people but they agreed that whatever sex they have they will never sleep with other people aside from threesomes and it's been agreed the girlfriend does not mess around with other men. The both of them are very sexual, and I feel like I've a good bargain out of it- I don't need to be in a committed relationship but I can still have sex with people I trust. I don't expect everyone to be open to these type of things, and I'm certainly not writing this to be judged. I wonder, from everyone's point of view, what are your opinions in regards to open relationships and threesomes? What are your personal experiences? Interesting story. I am not really judgemental about it----it'd never be for me. I'm not into sharing. My boyfriend has done it in the past, and I found it kind of sexy to hear about it, and all the things they did, but I'd never share him today. And he's not really into it---he had to get pretty drunk to get the courage up for it, and he's even more conservative than I in some ways. He wouldn't want to share me (not even with a gal) either. Just not how we roll.
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