OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I am wondering what guys think about this. I am 32 and have had less than 5 sexual partners. I was never the one for casual sex and usually wait 1-2 months AND if I feel that there is really a LTR potential before I have sex. I think that I am not as experienced as some girls my age are. I worry that when I meet the guy I really like he will be turned off by the fact that I don't know 100 different sexual positions or something. Thus, I have been toying with the idea of having more casual sex lately. Thoughts?
that girl Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 If you want to have casual sex, have casual sex. But I don't think I've ever heard someone say "Sally (or John) is great, but I really wish she (or he) had more experience with casual sex!" I think in general you do more experimenting in a long term relationship than a one night stand. Honestly, I find the whole idea that someone would refuse to date anyone because they've only slept with 5 people crazy.
Chicago_Guy Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 5 partners at age 32 is a good thing for a woman. Most guys don't want a woman who has slept with lots of guys - it is an enormous turn-off for many men. Women probably dislike inexperienced partners far more than men would.
Citizen Erased Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I think you're far more likely to come across guys that would dislike you upping your number with casual sex than those that would find your number a turn off.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 There's really a big difference between sleeping around and being sexually experienced. You can be with a guy for more than 5 years, and you can learn all the tricks in the book with him. Casual certainly does not define or relate you to being sexually experienced, it'll just make men look down on you for being loose. Have sex for sex because you enjoy it. Don't have it because you see a point in jumping from men to men.
musemaj11 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Generally guys just want women who are into having sex itself. Doesnt matter if she can do acrobats. If she seems inhibited and uninterested, its not gonna be good.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 The number of partners has no bearing. Bottom line is that there is no one-size-fits-all way to get sex right. Each person is unique and has their idiosyncrasies, likes, dislikes, senses of pace and emphasis. There's no way to learn one person and then have the automatically be good someone else. So, as long as a partner knows the basic forms and approaches sex expecting to adapt to cues, there's hope that sexual chemistry will work out. I recommend that no one worry about the forms of sex getting old early in a relationship--it takes time to even get them right. Looking for ways to "spice things up" comes way down the road and if all has gone well, may not even be a good idea. Getting it right and being sincere are what matters--not the number of tricks.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 OG, sorry for going off topic, but I want to comment on your signature. I love Silverchair!
Author OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 OG, sorry for going off topic, but I want to comment on your signature. I love Silverchair! Me too! For some reason I have been replaying Ana's song today over and over again
Author OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 The problem is, my longest R was a very troubled on and off R that lasted for 3 years and then further 2 as some weird form of FWB. That guy wasn't very experienced at sex (I was his first) and he had erection problems and basically wasn't as into sex as I was. He later blamed erection problems on me, implying that I wasn't attractive enough. My self-esteem was so low that I stayed with him anyway and fully believed him Anyhow, with other guys it was just few months worth of sex. I have never done anal or any kinky fetishes (apart from light S&M). I just worry that guys expect me to do acrobatics that I see in porn :S
that girl Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Stop worrying what some imaginary guy would want. If you want casual sex, have it. Kink or anal with a stranger might not be the best idea though- those both involve trust.
ascendotum Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) 5 partners at age 32 is a good thing for a woman. Most guys don't want a woman who has slept with lots of guys - it is an enormous turn-off for many men. Women probably dislike inexperienced partners far more than men would. This sez it for me. I just worry that guys expect me to do acrobatics that I see in porn Jeeez dont worry about this ****. Most guys are rapt to get laid with a new girl. As long as you are enthusiastic and proactive then they will be happy. Porn doesn't get that acrobatic, unless you been watching some of the more extreme stuff or the stuff with young nubiles. You are such a dichotomy of emotions. You insist of 'hot' guys but then worry if you will live up to them. lol. Edited December 20, 2010 by ascendotum spelling
LimboNewb Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I will echo the above people with: "Do what you want" However! I will say that as a guy that has not had many partners I would [have been] feel intimidated if the other person has had a significantly larger population of partners. Now I would be the first to admit that this is a personal failing of myself but I don't know that it's uncommon. Additionally, I've never been a person to indulge in casual sex (my reasoning is simple--I can masturbate for free) and would much rather have a partner that is inexperienced than one that can rock my world but has sex with anyone. I know I'm sentimentalizing something that is carnal but the bottom line is if sex isn't special on it's own merit I'd rather make it special so that it signifies a transaction of trust and affection. It sounds like you are in the same boat so while it will never affect me, my preference (were I a potential partner) was that you stay the course (pun intended). P.S. two months? eek. I guess it depends on how many dates occur in those months.
EasyHeart Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 It depends what I'm looking for. If I'm looking for a girl to screw for a few months, then I want her to be uninhibited, experienced and willing to do the nastiest things my nasty mind can think of. Bit if I'm looking for a girlfriend, then I couldn't care less. Sex is always great if you love someone. It's only when you don't love someone that you care about their sexual prowess.
Star Gazer Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I think in general you do more experimenting in a long term relationship than a one night stand. Agreed. More partners does NOT mean more experience. IME, guys who probably had many partners were worse in bed than those who had fewer partners but had been in long-term relationships. Didn't you have sex with 2-3 guys in the last 5 months or so? I coulda swore there was more than just car-sex guy...
USMCHokie Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 A girl's willingness to be with me is far more important than her sexual experience. An experienced girl who's doing crazy things just to go through the motions isn't remotely as good as a girl who might be a little vanilla but just wants to be with me...
yongyong Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 you want guys opinion I believe. when we buy used cars, we look at how many previous owners it had and the mileage. if it has low miles but had 10 owners, we get suspicious if it has very high mileage but had only 1 owners, we still worry. it depends on personal standards. I can tell you though, in my own standard, you had very enough sexual experience.
samspade Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Experience = overrated for females. The inexperienced tend to catch on quickly. Anyway, it can be charming. Women who are experienced and try to flaunt it, or take command in a bedroom, are annoying and often kill the mood. I'd rather teach an inexperienced chick.
Mad Max Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Women find inexperience to be more of a turnoff than men do.
oaks Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I just worry that guys expect me to do acrobatics that I see in porn :S Tell them you're willing to learn if they can keep going for as long as the guys in porn. Seriously, though, if the guy thinks that then perhaps he isn't too experienced either. There's nothing wrong with porn, but it (mostly) doesn't depict realistic sex.
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