viewsonic Posted March 15, 2004 Posted March 15, 2004 a little over two months ago my boyfriend of a year broke up with me.. he came over and said our personalities were too similar that it will cause us to walk on eggshells around each other in the future.. yeah, we had some tension between us right before we broke up, but i didn't think it was enough for him to leave and say that he will ignore any contact from me and then say, "have a nice life," in an email later on to me. i had no idea he had felt like that around me.. i never felt like that around him. two days prior he told me he loved me, want to spend a long time with me, and that if we ever broke up, that he would be knocking down my door.. so when he broke up with me, it was a huge shock. i was devasted. anyway, in the last few days i can't stop thinking about him. i know that is normal for those who go through a break-up. i'm in counseling now and even on anti-depressants. i still feel so sad sometimes. i know that i can't contact him and don't plan to do so because i feel i have accepted the fact that we will never be together and you can't contact the person who doesn't want to be with you. it's still hard. i am doing everything i can to try and move on.. joining clubs, volunteering, meeting new people, looking for a new job, going to therapy, etc.. but i still have feelings like i can never trust another man, that i will be single the rest of my life, that he was my true love and i messed it up, if things had been different or i had done something different.... also, he told me his feelings would never change for me, when he came over to break-up with me. that just made it harder. someone who still loves me but can't be with me. it's excruciatingly hard. anyway, i know that time is the only thing that will make me feel better.. i was never the type of girl to rely on a man for happiness, etc... I am not afraid to be alone but a part of me feels like it died. that the pain will always be a part of me.... how do i deal with this? how do i deal with the longing for him and the regret?
yes Posted March 15, 2004 Posted March 15, 2004 sounds to me like you're doing everything you can. the ingredient of time cannot be replaced, though - it's simply going to take a while to heal, no matter what you do. so take it easy and don't worry - it'll all pass! best of luck, -yes
overseas2004 Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 The first month I cried and I drank sedatives all the time and barely dragged myself through work. Now I am on month two. I still cry and feel bad sometimes but I am not dying like I was before. I suppose next month will be better. I have already met someone who is interested in me. That has helped a little and hurt a little. I guess my best advice is wait and it will pass. But also do what feels good. If you feel that going out and doing the volunteering is helping. Then by all means do it. If one night it feels better to stay home and cry and drive your girlfriends crazy ... do that. Just play it by ear. Gosh why does this have to be a part of life as well. Aren't all the pressures enough.... Take care and good luck... You sound like you will be ok though.
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