gorgeousboy Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I'm curious to know the age gap women are willing to accept when dating younger men. LS female participants, please write down your age, the the biggest age gap you're willing to tolerate and whether and when you've dated someone that young before or whether you're currently dating someone that young. For example, Age: 35 Gap: 8 Had that age gap two years ago For male LSers that want to participate, please write down your age, how much older you would accept of a woman and whether and when you've dated someone that many years older than you.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I'm 34. I'd probably date up to about 10 years younger. But a guy 10 years younger would have to be mature and desire a long-term commitment. I've only ever dated men around my age or a little older.
tigressA Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Age: 23 Gap: 2 Had that gap 6 months ago, for the first time. While I don't regularly go to bars I wouldn't want to date someone who couldn't legally enter them, so I would never go any younger than 21.
Author gorgeousboy Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 I'm 34. I'd probably date up to about 10 years younger. But a guy 10 years younger would have to be mature and desire a long-term commitment. I've only ever dated men around my age or a little older. So you don't mind younger guys since you're only dated men around your age or older?
Star Gazer Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Age: 32 I don't think I'd feel comfortable seriously dating someone younger than 28. Even 28 is pushing it to me.
eerie_reverie Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Age: 24 I would not date below 23. And even that would be pushing it. I would strongly prefer to date someone a little bit older, late 20's early 30's. The last guy I was involved with was 26.
JaneDoe35 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) Such a difficult question....my husband of almost 15 years was one year younger than me and I thought that was too much younger when I first met him. Age - 35 Would date 10 years younger. Dated a 26 year old briefly - I think we could have worked... Had a very quick fling with a 22 year old - too young... Haven't dated anyone older as they seem to be all married etc!!! That explains me being prepared to date so much younger!! I am currently interested in a 30 year old....we will see. Edited December 20, 2010 by JaneDoe35 A little extra
Author gorgeousboy Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 It reads like most women don't fancy going out with younger men or too young men. This is my situation. I'm three years younger than a woman I'm interested in. Another potential issue is we're at different stages of our career. She's more accomplished while it'll take a while for me to be successful. We're in our 30s. Are these a deal breaker?
denise_xo Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) It reads like most women don't fancy going out with younger men or too young men. This is my situation. I'm three years younger than a woman I'm interested in. Another potential issue is we're at different stages of our career. She's more accomplished while it'll take a while for me to be successful. We're in our 30s. Are these a deal breaker? Three years wouldn't mean anything to me if it was the right person. I think that difference is fairly meaningless once you get above 25 or so. I have some friends who have married younger men (3-5 years range). I don't have particular limits, but upwards I'd be hesitant if it's someone who could be my father. I've never really thought about it in terms of younger men because I've never been with anyone who's younger than me. In terms of career trajectory; the issue for me wouldn't be whether someone is at a different stage in their career (I am in some ways 'more accomplished' than my partner professionally although we wouldn't really think of it in those terms), but more whether our career aspirations could be combined with other key issues such as where we want to live and what kind of general life style we aspire to (travel, rural/urban life style, will job confine us to very specific places, etc - stuff like that). Edited December 20, 2010 by denise_xo
Cee Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I've always been non-traditional about age. My first boyfriend was 8 years older than me. And I married a guy 16 years older. And then as I got older, I started dating younger. I think all that cougar talk is gross to me, but if you want to call me one, go right ahead. I'm 41 and the youngest man I've dated is now 26. We met when I was 39 and he was 24. We aren't dating anymore, but we talk a lot and hang out. I also dated a guy who was 27 when I was 39. It was a positive experience and we remain friends today. After the break up, we didn't talk for 8 months, but then struck up a friendship. And then went to fwb. He is one of my favorite people in the whole world and he has taught me a lot in the bedroom. My sister is 39 and married to a 30 year old man. They are very happy and have 2 children. I wouldn't sweat a 3 year age difference. Age is only in a person's head. Maturity is not linked to chronological age.
Author gorgeousboy Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Besides the three-year age difference that you guys said isn't something to sweat about, what about the different-stage-of-the-career aspect? When combined, would that be a problem?
Cee Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Career trajectory is such a malleable thing. It really depends on where she's at and where you are at. For example, if she's in grad school, that means her career is unsettled. She might move anywhere for a job. Dating someone in school is risky because they are in a transitional period, but that doesn't mean it can't work.
Author gorgeousboy Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Career trajectory is such a malleable thing. It really depends on where she's at and where you are at. For example, if she's in grad school, that means her career is unsettled. She might move anywhere for a job. Dating someone in school is risky because they are in a transitional period, but that doesn't mean it can't work. Actually I'm the one in grad school so I don't know how she'll take all these into consideration. Especially being a few years older.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 So you don't mind younger guys since you're only dated men around your age or older? I used to rule out younger men completely for anything serious, but I am changing my mind, now that I have observed a number of successful relationships in which the man is younger. One of my sisters is in her 50s and married to a great guy in his 30s. He seems totally committed to her, and he is so good to her and her daughter. They just bought lakefront property, and I see them lasting for good. I have turned down a few great guys in their 20s because I assumed they just wanted something casual. I won't make that assumption in the future.
KraftDinner Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I'm 37 10 years Have dated someone 10 years younger and it was great
sammyd Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Age 36 Gap 10 I seem to get on better with younger guys, so it wouldn't bother me at all. 3 yrs is nothing really in the grand scheme of things. I've been out with older and younger, and prefer younger . . so far:)
aerogurl87 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I'm 21, so the youngest for me usually is a few months. Somehow my boyfriend slipped under the radar and made it with me at 18.
Madgick1 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Higher 40's. Not less than 2 years younger. Just no interest. Actually don't want anyone younger and can't explain why. Not too much older either. Not more than 57. I don't want to be a nurse, nor do I want to marry someone who's going to retire much sooner than me. Career thing? I make a nice salary, he's going to have to match it more or less, no less $20k less than me. I have no intention of ever merging money again, but will of course go 50/50 or proportional on our mutual life. But I got burned badly on money/men and won't go there again.
daphne Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Age: None of your business Gap: 18 years. But he lied about his age. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. My current acceptable age gap is 5 years, but I just met a guy who's beautiful and 7 years younger so I have to at least go to dinner and see what he's like. This is why I'm single. I keep going for the pretty ones. Sigh.
Author gorgeousboy Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Age: None of your business Gap: 18 years. But he lied about his age. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. My current acceptable age gap is 5 years, but I just met a guy who's beautiful and 7 years younger so I have to at least go to dinner and see what he's like. This is why I'm single. I keep going for the pretty ones. Sigh. At least you have an open mind and are willing to give the seven years younger guy a chance.
Author gorgeousboy Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 So for those of you supportive of an older woman, younger man situation, how much do you mind that the man is still in grad school while the woman is working? It's good to know that many of you don't mind a younger man but it's not clear whether you see the age gap and career difference as a double whammy?
denise_xo Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 So for those of you supportive of an older woman, younger man situation, how much do you mind that the man is still in grad school while the woman is working? It's good to know that many of you don't mind a younger man but it's not clear whether you see the age gap and career difference as a double whammy? I don't see grad school a problem. My H entered grad school after we got married. I think you might be overanalysing this/ worrying too much...
dreamingoftigers Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) I am 28. Gap I would be willing to accept: 21 The individual in question would have to be a faithful member of my church because they are very relationship-minded. If the faith was there and they were a pretty centered human being I would take that on. Since that age is kind of right at the border of teen-to-man I would be pretty careful about the factors though. Never dated someone younger. The ideal gap I found is six years older then me. My husband is 5 years older then me. Edited December 21, 2010 by dreamingoftigers because if I don't edit I sound like a pervert.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 So for those of you supportive of an older woman, younger man situation, how much do you mind that the man is still in grad school while the woman is working? It's good to know that many of you don't mind a younger man but it's not clear whether you see the age gap and career difference as a double whammy? As long as he can support himself financially and afford the occasional modest extras, like dinner out, being in grad school is not a problem. One of my overall best boyfriends was working on his PhD, and earned it while we were together.
zengirl Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 Never dated anyone younger. I've dated a man as much as 7 years older, but not since I was in college. Generally, I stick pretty close to my age now. I'm 26. Boyfriend is 30. I'd date a man 5 years older, and maybe 5 years younger (21 sounds so young! So, next year, I'd go 5 years younger, but probably not now), but he'd have to be out of college. (I only date guys who've graduated college in general; just my personal thing.) Being in grad school or beyond is fine.
Recommended Posts