bl22 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Hey guys coming up to around 3 months NC, im not keeping count really but this past week have been nearly as bad as the breakup part in terms of missing her. stil feels like a dream tbh, that it isnt reality even though itis. Ive been doing so well recently, i stil am, getting on with things, i know longer feel pain but I so miss her in my life, I miss hearing her voice before id go sleep and when i wake up, I miss her smile, her eyes light up when I say something she likes. I miss the love she gave me and the thought of her happy without me, with other people makes me sick to my stomach. I wouldnt dare contact her, Ive made a promise to myself to never speak to her until I can think of her without any resentment or pain. If she contacts me Id ignore it, I dont wanna seem weak. no one compares tbh
mgene15 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 yea i feel you, Im in NC for 2 months and some change, and these past few days I've started to think about my ex alot again...NC's a rollercoaster... as soon as you think your past the ex... something out of nowhere will have you thinkin about her...I woke up the past 2 days checking my phone to see if she had called, had a dream as well... weird because I hadn't done that since the first week of NC... we've come so far... I guess it's normal.. just keep doing what your doing and do not contact... I won't contact my ex as well(she has not contacted me)... I two use to get a call every night and would even go to sleep on the phone with my ex... hang in there buddy!
coltsfan1 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 i totally understand how you feel.. I am going on 4 months NC and it hurts really bad some days and others it doesn't hurt so bad. This is just part of the healing process, one of my good friends told me that a persons mind can be there best friend and worst enemy. Just try and be strong esp do not wear it, it will get back to her if you have mutual friends.
swfc_77 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 try an keep your chin up mate, i know its hard this time of year. couple of weeks it will be the new year and you can look at starting a fresh. just try and enjoy spending time with your family and friends and then use the new year to make a clean break, trust me she will be giving you some thought around xmas time. dont act on it, just smile and keep plodding on.
alwayshoping Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Im feeling you too bl22. I really miss my girl too. Perhaps it's the time of year or just the rollacoaster that is NC. You just need to ride out the lows and wait for another high. Just remember that your amazing and that any girl would be lucky to have you, just because she made a mistake it doesn't detract from how lovely you are and when she does realise what she's lost you will have been snapped up by somebody that will never let you go and appreciate you for everything you put into a relationship x
strangeways Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Right there with you too bl22. Almost 3 months NC and feel the same as you. Just got to keep on plugging away and it'll pass eventually. Seems a lot of people must be feeling the same this time of year. It's natural.
J0N Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I feel the same too at times. I think it helps to put real distance between you and your ex, I have thrown away or donated almost everything she ever gave me. No photos, Facebook, texts, etc. I have started get tired of thinking about my ex, just try to distract yourself when you start to feel down. The longing for your ex will eventually begin to wither away. Stay strong!
Author bl22 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 thanks for the replies guys, woke up today feeling a little better but for some reason the night-after-night dreams about her are back. It almost feels like my subconscious is trying desperately to remember her...and is getting massive withdrawals. Also I guess another thing is I kinda do expect to hear from her again sometime down the line. Im trying not to expect it and I havent heard from her for nearly 3 months but a quick 'I miss you' would restore a little faith for back back in life itself...just to know it meant something to her. I wouldnt reply to it, but at least I know then that our relationship wasnt a sham...that at our best IT WAS true love...I've been through many, many relationships before her where it was just 'nice' no fireworks just ...i like her, enjoy each others company and nothing more else. It wasnt like that with her, and I was HER first serious relationship, taught her basically everything and always stook by her even when she'd get needy and vunerable....if it was anyone else I'd have been put off and walked but she had that something extra...something I can't just find like that again. There was stil so much I wanted to share with her, after everything we built up together, she was the only person I could truly be myself around, who would listen without judging, who would support me in everything, who I could make laugh without even trying, who i could be playful and silly with 1 moment and then intimate and sexy with another moment and it would not feel weird, it was just all natural and it felt right. I know people say there will be others and I guess there right but the thought of starting again scares me, having to build the bond, trust, relationship from scratch again. At the moment it feels like ive had my house completely robbed, computers wiped (photos videos) and all my personal belongings destroyed (all by the other guy) of everything ive worked for and achieved except 1000 times worse, now i have to start over again. I do think that this time I'll come back stronger and better than ever, and won't take no bs from anyone in my life, also I've learned ALOT of do's and don'ts when it comes to relationships and breakups, at least I know if i ever get ditched again, I'll know how to handle it.
hoping2heal Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 thanks for the replies guys, woke up today feeling a little better but for some reason the night-after-night dreams about her are back. It almost feels like my subconscious is trying desperately to remember her...and is getting massive withdrawals. Also I guess another thing is I kinda do expect to hear from her again sometime down the line. Im trying not to expect it and I havent heard from her for nearly 3 months but a quick 'I miss you' would restore a little faith for back back in life itself...just to know it meant something to her. I wouldnt reply to it, but at least I know then that our relationship wasnt a sham...that at our best IT WAS true love...I've been through many, many relationships before her where it was just 'nice' no fireworks just ...i like her, enjoy each others company and nothing more else. It wasnt like that with her, and I was HER first serious relationship, taught her basically everything and always stook by her even when she'd get needy and vunerable....if it was anyone else I'd have been put off and walked but she had that something extra...something I can't just find like that again. There was stil so much I wanted to share with her, after everything we built up together, she was the only person I could truly be myself around, who would listen without judging, who would support me in everything, who I could make laugh without even trying, who i could be playful and silly with 1 moment and then intimate and sexy with another moment and it would not feel weird, it was just all natural and it felt right. I know people say there will be others and I guess there right but the thought of starting again scares me, having to build the bond, trust, relationship from scratch again. At the moment it feels like ive had my house completely robbed, computers wiped (photos videos) and all my personal belongings destroyed (all by the other guy) of everything ive worked for and achieved except 1000 times worse, now i have to start over again. I do think that this time I'll come back stronger and better than ever, and won't take no bs from anyone in my life, also I've learned ALOT of do's and don'ts when it comes to relationships and breakups, at least I know if i ever get ditched again, I'll know how to handle it. Why did the relationship end? How long were you together?
Author bl22 Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 was together around 2 years, in the last 3 months of the relationship she become 'good friends' with someone she works with 5x a week, i knew he liked her but she always reassured me I could trust her and I did, I had no reason not too as she never hid txts or emails or passwords from me, and I did the same for her. She had no problem with me seeing there convos on facebook or through txts and she was never flirting with him. This guy would play games though being her friend 1 day then blanking her the next and I was the 1 who had to pick up the pieces, reassure her its not her fault hes doing this hes just trying to confuse you. She's had friends ditch her before, him being part of that group who had so she was quite upset. He would even admit to her hes 'desperate' and would happily sleep around if he could (but no1 was interested) My ex was just too nice for her own good to stop being friends with him and he continued bad mouthing me trying to turn her against me but I wasnt worried, I knew she loved me thats all that mattered...maybe I was too cocky thinking what we had couldnt be broken. but a week before we broke up she confesses she 'may' have feelings for him. She said she stil loves me and whatever it is is nothing compared to us, then few days later tells me its just deffo friendship between them, i trusted her but then 1 day she comes home 1 night and says shes kissed him 'but i pulled away and she felt nothing, just thought about you ' ... :s the day after she goes on a work night out (with him there) and then tells me were not together anymore, she'll always love me, never meant to hurt me but she cant be with me whilst she feels like this, she hopes we can try again in the future...it was then she turns completely cold and heartless towards me. Like a completely different person. Except for 1 txt where she says 'I dont want to never see you again I dont want this to be goodbye, I just cant bare to see the pain in your eyes right now' This was all the start of October...Few weeks before this, she tells me shes the happiest shes ever been all thanks to me, Im the most important person in her life and she will never let me go. Confused.
nj10 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 i know how that feels..i nver really get over him..this past few months im getting better and i never contact him again..eventhough we are classmate in uni.. i see him almost everyday..even with his new gf..I am doing fine until lately the feeling come back to me again..i just think abt him all the time..it sucks..but I i think it will happen where one day the feeling just come to us..just take this as a test for you..dont let it take you down..I know it easier said than done..There are time where we are getting weak but try to push yourself to move forward..that is what I am doing btw.. I feel bad for you that your ex left you like that..just hang in there okay..things will get better..
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